Thetownend.com

We are moving back to Swindon early in the New Year after 12 years in Ireland.

Got our first viewing for the house this afternoon - some fella from Scotland has come over for a gander.

Believe me, we've got just about everything crossed it goes well - buyers are extremely thin on the ground.

Taking a big hit on the price, so hopefully our Jock friend has a few doubloons to spare.

I'm practising my best Glasgee, hoots mon, och aye, pint of heavy and loading Braveheart on the DVD.

Do I mention Rangers or Celtic?

Best to mention queens park.

Don't tell him about the moose loose about the hoose. Or as him where his troosers are if his name is Donald.

Say how great Andy Murray is at every opportunity.

Leave a few bottles of Buckfast out tactically to catch his eye

Are you really going to be taking less than you paid for the house in 2000!?  Ouch.  Ireland's problems really are horrific...don't envy you at all.  Make our own problems look lightweight in comparison.  Something like 3,000 estates of new houses left unoccupied, I think I saw recently?

Good luck, by the way.  I have a feeling you're going to need it.

Offer him a wee dram.

Deep fry some mars bars in iron brew batter. Its the Scots equivalent of catnip.

Buzzfast is the drink of Kings.

We bought our present house 4 years ago at 112,000 euro - spent 30-40,000 doing it up and building kennels. Selling now for 120,000!!

Tis the way of tings, I'm afraid.

Anyway, viewing went well enough (as far as you can tell,anyway)

Aye just fire as many stereotypes at him as possible.

Cause we love that shit.

A bag of H as well then?

You're all too thick, pissed, drugged or all three to even notice. Hadrian was a visionary.

Square sausage and black pudding with fried egg.....food of kings:)

Did you distract him with Super Tennents?

No tattie scone?

I'm oot.

[url width=191 height=200]http://i.imgur.com/k97PS.jpg[/url]

Try and sell him on the Kerry Weather, it's pissed it down everytime I have been over

Is Joycie the one who thinks the SPL is better than the Premier League?

The weather smiled on us yesterday - although one of the greyhounds had left a rather large pile of shite I had missed clearing up.

That'll be the clincher I reckon

No.

But I can pretend and you can continue?

Where are you from, Joycie?

Tattie scones, fried next to black pudding and Lorne sausage...heaven.  But only a couple of times a year, or you might die.

Im currently working a few days with Biffy Clyro.  Im surrounded by the scotch (they get annoyed if you call them that.  Its quite funny).

The next single has bagpipes on it.  Really.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DafkHhzbXB4

You know I love role play.

Chippenham.