Thetownend.com

Shock as Swindon's fate not determined by who starts official matchday thread

Swindon Town fans have been left confused after the club's 2-0 defeat to Oxford on Saturday highlighted that results aren't determined by who starts the official matchday threads, but could in fact be influenced in some way by footballers.

With Swindon currently occupying top spot in League 2, it had been thought that Town's recent run of form had been solely down to the ability of a drunken student to turn on his computer. However, the sudden realisation that this didn't create some kind of cosmic force that could manipulate a football into the opponents goal has left fans fearful that other factors may be involved.

"This is a worrying development," admitted one concerned fan. "I remember one time when the matchday thread was started by someone who was sober and we ended up drawing the game."

"It seemed like too much of a coincidence at the time, but after Saturday I'll have to rethink my belief that football is a game of chance determined by the actions of someone who has just spent several hours in a student union bar."

Swindon boss Paolo di Canio has urged his players to focus now that it has transpired that they might actually have something to do with the club's current league position.

"We have gone from a good moment to a bad moment, but we must get back to a good moment or we will stay in a bad moment which wouldn't be a good moment it would be a bad moment," he said flailing his arms around unnecessarily.

"I have said to the players that they should give me one moment in time when I'm racing with destiny. Then in that one moment of time I will feel, I will feel eternity."

[url width=180 height=240]http://onestowatchmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/Colin-Offler.jpg[/url]
"I'm pissed, I'm logged on, 3-0 Town!"

Blasphemy

Next you will be trying to tell us the Earth isn't flat, I wont listen to such lies

I don't think they realise how hard turning on a computer as a drunk student can be. I once took an hour to start up a DVD. Those were the days.

Heartless bastard Rhino.

Sugg is now crying into a bottle of white lightning he's smuggled into the student union after his one lecture for the week.

Hope Sugg doesn't take this to heart, it will turn him to the drink.

I've been saying all along it's my lucky green pants. I didn't have them on on Saturday as they were being washed for the first time.

I feel partly responsible for SWS demise on Saturday. I went to the CG to watch the game but couldn't enter through lucky turnstile 23.

Sorry SWS.

My trackies/away shirt combo finally failed. I did forget my scarf though, I knew that'd come back to haunt us.

Sugg has been let down badly by people on here he should be able to trust :no:

Do not underestimate the power of the dark side

Prematch Jaegerbombs were not consumed, resulting in defeat.

Public apology:

I have socks with the days of the week on them.  Particularly on matchdays I'm a bit OCD about wearing them (the right days regardless of the days - I might have OCD but I'm no freaky weirdo...) and I have to admit that I only realised that I had NO socks on at all two minutes before half time.

I'm truly sorry.

PS.  Tuesday socks are in place and will not be removed until the final whistle earliest.  Again, sorry...

I normally indulge in a light pre match ritual sacrafice, but guilt finally got the best of me and defeat caught up with us.

I am sorry

Sugg is a witch burn him I say

Hahaha News Rhino is back! Yay!

enjoyed reading that. Bravo

may I suggest any "lucky" items of clothing gets washed tonight before the game this will wash the Pox result out or something
 

I'm gonna have 2 tonight to be sure

Sugg is the reason we're top of the league, anyone who says otherwise is a clueless fool.

Long live Sugg.

I think thats probably best mate, just to make sure.

I'd like to point out that picture isn't me..


That is the only issue I have.

Sugg out.

I'm just thankful we still have a club to support.

"I'm pissed, I'm logged on, 3-0 Town!"

That made me chuckle.  :D

I'm surprised we haven't seen another one of Hitler's rants after losing to Oxford again....

I like those Hitler rant vids as much as I like the 'Keep Calm' posters.  :crash:

The fact of the matter is that we played the mighty giants of football and we were humbled. Their greatness is legendary,  and they have a set of fans to set fear into the hearts of mortal men. Why they have languished in the lower leagues for so long is the real question to be answered. 

Or.....
They have been up for it in their biggest games in years.  We never seem to do well against non league sides, histon et al.   :)

News Rhino should be put to death for such blasphemous claims.

Amen to that

I liked them.

Magnificent :clap:

Who the fuck is it