Thetownend.com

In a couple of months I officially become an old man when I turn 40. The wife keeps asking me what I want from her as do the parents, in-laws etc. Everything they have suggested so far would be nice but a bit "Meh", theres nothing that I can think of that I really really want.

So who better to help than the wise, imaginative folk of the TEF ? Any suggestions ?

Radio controlled car

Pipe and slippers?

What did they suggest?

I was 40 a couple of years ago, didn't get any "different " presents.

Cody McDonald? Or failing that an ST + shirt for next year?

Get yourself a nice DSLR camera or an iPad.. or both

A lads holiday, it will take you to 50 to recover. :)

How about a contribution the the holiday of a life time?  Somewhere like Kenya on safari or Hawaii?

Divorce?

At last, the sort of answer I was really expecting !

I did think about asking for a threesome with her and her mate, which would probably result in the same thing !

Tell her that a threesome is recommended as life begins at 40  ;)

Sex off the wife obviously

Again tans divorce. Clearly his mrs would still get upset at you lending him your wife... nice thought tho!

Is her mate female?

Anal.and a phone or something off the wife.

So who do I get the anal from ?

Yes she is. And even if they were up for it, theres always the danger that she'll want big Winston to join us on her 40th to get her own back !

:clap:

Some of the other suggestions

Kindle - maybe but I do quite like the smell & feel of old books from the library (and until you can get e-books free from the library I'm too tight to buy them just to read them once)

Camera - maybe but I would use it for a few months, then put it away somewhere and get it out once a year at Christmas and go back to using my phone the rest of the time

iPad - would probably use it too much, and spend just as much time keeping the kids from wrecking it

Pipe & slippers - fully expecting lots of really hilarious old peoples presents, Grumpy Old Man references etc. Cant wait.

ST & Shirt - I think this has come up before, but I think grown men wearing football shirts to matches looks a bit sad, will probably get a ST for me & the kids next year anyway, when we're out of that shitty division

Holiday - going to Aus later in the year, maybe a contribution towards something special there could be good - helicopter over the Barrier Reef, skydive, something like that.

Why the fuck cant she just surprise me ? I've only known her 20 years, is it too much to ask that she knows what I like ?

Vincent Pericard.

Dyslexic Alan from next door?

Surely that would be anla?

 40 is no age really, so doesn't deserve anything special. 50 of course is half a century, so worthy of note, and 60 is a bus pass  :)

I'm 50 tomorrow, wonder what I'll get, fuck all as usual

Well i wont tempt fate ans say Happy Birthday just yet then!
I reach the two score and ten next month :D

Thats the bloody trouble with youngsters, never fucking happy.

When I was 50, my then missus, got us a session of white water rafting on the Wye.  Problem was that we were in a drought  :doh:....

Well even if I haven't got any new ideas, at least compared to you lot I dont feel as old as I did !

Think 40 is a funny age, you're not old enough to really feel old and accept that you're old, but you are old enough that you cant do everything you used to be able to.

Feeling grumpy again now..... :badmood:

To be fair, you have known yourself for twice as long, and you don't have any fucking idea what you want, so what chance does your missus have.  :D

Get her to pay for you to learn to Scuba Dive - opens up a whole new world and a right laugh - and would be brilliant in Aus :)

Wouldn't Cousteau fortune either.

Genius (again)  :clap:

Cheers Ardiles, off out for a chinese meal with the family, then off to the big match tomorrow hopefully I'll get a great pressie with a town win   :pint:

:clap: :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: