Thetownend.com

I'm ill at the moment so feeling a bit tender.

There's a lot of football talk on here at the moment and not enough Bollox! (I'm chuffed to bits with the signings though!!!) So here's a story..

I tried to kill myself in June last year. It went wrong, obviously, as I'm still here (all sorted now btw).

To get over what had happened I fucked off to Turkey for two weeks on me tod to sort myself out. It worked. Met a lass from Newcastle (Cheryl Tweedy lookalike, 21 - I won't post a pic for obvious reasons!) We'd both split from partners and had a lot in common. We only spent one night together but we email a couple of times a week and I went up to see her for the weekend last November.

Got an email yesterday, and she's a bit down about things - family, work etc.. So, being the nice guy, I got onto Interflora to deliver a (fucking expensive) bunch of flowers to cheer her up. This was the reply..

---------------------------------
Oh my god
 
thankyou - thankyou so so so so much Paul
 
You have brightend my day!!!
 
Thankyou so much, I know that I will always have a friend in you and like wise - you have in me.
Oh my god ive got tears in my eyes - im happy tho it was a fantastic suprise!!!
 
You are always there for me when I need you so thankyou so much
 
Speak to you soon
 
Loadsa love Rachel x
----------------

8)

Then Jo Whiley plays Madness - It must be love.

I was in absolute fucking pieces, she's the girl of my dreams but lives in bloody Newcastle.              

Holiday romance stories please...

Please refrain from opening up like this on the TEF as its a football forum for hard men and gruff types like me and admiting to emotions and crying is clearly for gays and 'new' men.

You soppy sod.
 :wink:
Ive no Holiday romance stories as Ive only been on Holiday twice (and Im fat and ugly)

Dave M Russell has a story though :D

I like teh gay opening up stuff I would open up but Im not like that im afraid! IM not soppy at all

I don't mind admitting to being 'metrosexual' the chicks love it.

 :fag:  :gay:

 :shock:

Suicide is nasty, I've lost someone close because of suicide its awful  :cry:

Glad your all sorted now mate  :)

Cheers Tails, it was a close call. All's good now though!

i REALISED WHAT i WROTE! SHOCKING

You soppy bandit   :wink:
Nice story though  :D

I've not had a holiday romance since I was 13, although I haven't really been on holiday much. Plus I turned into a right ugly git  :(

Same from me, S.R. Glad it's all gravy now.

Didn't mean to dwell on Ashers homosexual tendancies  :wink:  in quite a sensitive thread.


I have no holiday romances to share either, btw.  Someone must do!

http://www.tool-net.co.uk/data/tools/DEWD25104K.jpg

Roar!

I haven't even got any romance stories, let alone holiday ones. :cry:

Somebody love me.

The question is mate .. are u moving to Newcastle or is she coming down here?

When you consider the two football sides and how good they are, how good they are going to be and history etc .. there is only one answer really.

Do you have room for her at your gaff?? Get her down here and wearing a Swindon shirt!

 :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:

I'm going to give you a big hug when we go to watch crawley! :D

I love you :wink:

I love you like my long lost brother Tom.

This thread made me happy Sussex \o/

DITO

I lost a friend last year to suicide. I didn't hear about it till 2 months after cos living in Brum all my old friends in Chipping Norton etc can't always get in touch.

Why he did it is for reasons only he knows but one i'm sure of is cos he never thought he had any friends.
I got told that the church had nearlly 50 - 100 people outside cos they couldn't get in. The guy was a smashing bloke and i'm proud to say i was his friend. Just wish i could of told him.

"Just wish i could of told him."

You can't think like that though, you weren't to know he was gonna do that or anything.

yeah i know but there is always things you regret not telling people when they move away or things beyond your control happen.

maybe reading Sussex story made me think a bit to deeply about stuff.

I sometimes wonder how many people would come to my funeral. I'm not usually very morbid, though...

You bloody well aren't. Can I have a pint instead?  :wink:

I had one of these  8)

thought u 'new men' drank alcopops?  :soapy tit wank:

please would you all stop being so gay.

thank you.

my holiday romance was in turkey 2 years ago, i was in the hotel bar and was fuckin hammered on raki or something like that, at about 2am started talking to this woman who was from eastbourne, she made michelle mcmanus look like karen carpenter, but i thought like all metro sexuals bollocks im having that.

went upstairs and in a rather romantic and beautiful way did her up the arse. half way through i realised what i was doing and vomited over the side of the bed. she didnt stay. we could have been happy in our own special way.

Sounds like a colourful relationship Mex.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Another Mexico classic.

Quality! :D

I had a romance 2 years ago in portugal, bit scary her name was marie as well, she lived in london and we got together for 6 months.  When it finished it took me 18 months to feel like getting involved and falling in love again....bloody women!

A word of warning. Read your emails back before you press send.

The girl of my dreams will only ever be that now after she see's this little gem tomorrow morning!

-----------------------------

Hello Rachel,

I'm sure you'll have a great time once you get there, and having a mate with you should stop you thinking about stuff too much.

Obviously I don't know what was said when you bumped into Gary but If I was in your situation I'd have asked questions I probably didn't want to here the answers to. It's human nature I guess.

As for the twats in that bar - forget about it. There's idiots like that everywhere and it's pretty sad of them to pick on someone just for a laugh. I think you're stunning, and so would most blokes - don't take what happened personally, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I'm fine, not really been out much as still doing that bloody web site in my spare time.

You'll love this for a bit of gossip though -

Last Wednesday night was a bit strange. I'd not seen Tania for nearly a month (we're not seeing each other anymore), just the odd text between us to see how each other are. Anyway she calls me around 11pm, a bit upset about things, so I go round to see her about midnight, we sat up chatting about her problems and drinking wine 'til 4am. In the middle of this conversation she drops in that since we last saw each other she'd slept with the guy who she left her husband to be with. Apparently he came round to show her his brand new Porsche!

She admitted she wasn't completely over him, which was fine by me - she gave up 7 years of marriage for him and he turned out to be a complete womaniser who had a few other women on the go at the same time.

She asked if I'd been with anyone else and I said no, which is true. She said she wouldn't mind as long as I was careful. I said - so I could go and sleep with 10 other women, and as long as I use protection you'll have me back in your bed? She said yes, so long as you've been careful and/or you're not seeing someone.

I said, so what about the late night texts you've sent me? She said, because I wanted sex. Admittedly we did click in that department, but as you can probably tell her head is not really in the right frame of mind at the moment!

Anyway, I stayed over but we didn't have sex - just got naked and rolled around a bit, if you know what I mean. Then in the morning we had a bath together and I went off to work.

A strange night, and I felt absolutely rough at work all day Thursday!

Enjoy your holiday Angel, speak soon.

Paul x

-----------------------

I am officially a stupid cunt  :roll:

Ouch man that's got to hurt.

May get brownie points for honesty in the long run though.

Not quiet comprible but when I was planning my jaunt to Thailand I was texting a mate and taking the piss.  Unfortunately his number was just after 'Dad'.

Explaining the following wasn't easy...

"I'm going to get so off my face I'll look like your mother's crack after a gang bang."

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Ive sent a fair few to teh old man as well, he just text back your a boy!

Sussex you could make her feel jealous by sending that, dont panic yet and whatever you do wait for her to reply!

Sussex

I reckon 'Angel' will find some sort of hidden meaning in that e-mail.It could have a positive effect.

defo and like dazzza,  said she may appreciate your honesty.

wait to see what she says before thinking it's gone tits up.
Good things come to those who wait

Why? It's not as if you've admitted anything terribly incriminating, she'll probably appreciate the honesty.

chin up!

went upstairs and in a rather romantic and beautiful way did her up the arse. half way through i realised what i was doing and vomited over the side of the bed. she didnt stay. we could have been happy in our own special way.


 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Not the best pic of her Sonic, but you see why it's doing my head in!  :(

No word back then?

Give it a few days then give her a ring, at least you'll know one way or the other.

Maybe you should send her an email telling her about the time you were shagging whores in Prague whilst off your face on Coke.

C'mon Sussex let it all out.

 :wink:

If she looks like Cheryl Tweedy then you are one lucky bastard!, i love birds with a Geordie accent. Good luck to you young sir. :wink:

Right forget the last bit i put as ive just read that email you sent her, oh dear. And she looked like Cheryl Tweedy!  :?

I've told her about all that - she's very understanding 8)

Rachel's on holiday this week, so I've yet to get a reply to the email  :?

But in classic Sussex style I fucked up again last night - Tania (the rude TT bird) rang asking to come round. She did, and she's still very dirty! I haven't got the will power to say no.

There's a pattern forming - Tania wants sex = call Paul. It's wrecking my head, but I'm smiling  :D

[/quote]

I've told her about all that - she's very understanding 8)

Rachel's on holiday this week, so I've yet to get a reply to the email  :?

But in classic Sussex style I fucked up again last night - Tania (the rude TT bird) rang asking to come round. She did, and she's still very dirty! I haven't got the will power to say no.

There's a pattern forming - Tania wants sex = call Paul. It's wrecking my head, but I'm smiling  :D[/quote]

I don't think many of us would have the will power either, I'd be smiling as well. 8)

If you had will-power we'd be calling you a poof anyhoo  :D

You only live once and all that...

there is only one way out of this paul, give tania my phone number  :D

Or mine .

and dont use real names on here its wrong! :x

sorry jamie  :oops:

I'll be fucked if I can remember your name :x


Mark?

close its jeff

You will always be Whitstable to me. :gay:

:gay:

 I'm going to call you Jeff from now on.

 :x

ok gregory :nod:

Gregory and Jeff.We'll be the coolest people in The Merlin :advercool:

you mean we aren't already?  :o

Hmmmm. I gave in again, Bloody women  :?

:\/

:D

i'm prepared for the taunting but....*sigh*....i can't have sex  unless it's with someone i really care about. it doesn't feel right anymore.

(i'm not gay, i have a longstanding female partner who's stunning etc....so ner!)

but that's not why i can say that tho, i've had a few brief liasons with people i've not been attached to and it's just been fucking weird.

also if she was macking every fucker up there cos she felt a bit frisky that'd make u feel awful.

blah blah tirade of decency etc blah blah

u get the gist blah etc

:D Gay

I understand what your saying but there is much to be said for casual sex and 'fuck' buddies.Then again there is also much to be said for the comfort of a long term relationship.

To be honest i'd settle for either at the moment :(

Amen to that. Thats amen not gay men :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Casual sex is the best if not a little unpredicable when you get it.

If they start calling mid-week then cut em loose.

THat said I'm not one to talk anymore I'm bumming off to the other side of the world to see a bird.

I think I give in when she calls because although I've only slept with a couple of women *ahem, cough, choke, 40ish* she's the best so far. We were seeing each other for a couple of months a while back, so it's not really just casual sex. I quite like having this dominant older woman calling me up and using me when she so wishes.

Took her to to Maccy D's for breakfast yesterday, thought I'd show her how the working class lived  :D

It came to £7.75 and she payed. I'm such a cheap shag  8)

Anyway, I'm not in a relaionship at the moment, so I'll fuck anything that moves*.

(*female and human)

This thread started out so gay, but has become the most laddish ever!

give her one up the ringpiece from me sussex :piemonte:

Being in a long term relationships all well and good, but fuck buddys dont withdraw sexual gratification for not doing the washing up :x  :x  :x

Rachel just called. She's just got back from Kusadasi (*sp) in Turkey.

Did anyone else hear about the bomb on the minibus over there last weekend? It happened on the half 8am, but she overslept and got the 1/4 to nine. A bit close to home all this, and makes you realise that this shit could so easily affect someone close to you.

(btw, she won't get to read 'that' email 'til tomorrow. Oh joy)

I'm loving life at the moment  :(

Nice knowing you sussex! But being serious trust me women just fuck you up in the end! stick to beer, drugs and footy!

and wanking :(

She's read the email and all seems fine - Northern birds rock  :D

-------------------
Hiya Paul
 
[edited the crap]
 
So then how are you feeling since the crash?
I hope that you are OK- i was really worried about you.
 
So what you been up 2 since i've been away?
Getting jiggy with Tania anymore?
I hope that you are having fun but please be careful, i care for you a great deal you know.
 
[edited the crap]
 
Anyway mail me soon
 
Lv Rach xx

--------------------

Looks like my visit oop North is still on  8)

:\/   8)

sussex red, never met u before, dont knowwho you are, but sounds like a great opportunity, keep in touch with her and go for it these opportunities are rare in life, best of luck mate GO FOR IT!

sussex red, can you help me pull older birds?

than the usual 12 year olds he gets!

any hole's a goal

(but not in gaol).

only for asher

Cheers for that Ash!!

Tania's 33, Rachel's 20. I think they call it multi-tasking.

It can't be taught Dave, it comes with age 8)

ha ha, cheers lads im off. Night

an older woman of 20? how old are you?

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Read it back Dave

Tania's the older woman, I'm a spritely 31. Rachel's the bit I only see ocassionally.

Newcastle's a bit of a way for anything regular.

sorry, i tend to skim read anything more than 2 pages  :oops:

come on then sussex, kinkiest sex you've ever had?

It's something I'd have to be pretty pissed to tell you lot about - in detail.

T'was in Prague though, this June, with two 'escorts', and beer, and cocaine. About an hour for a 'do what you want' session. Use your imagination, you won't be far off..

did you felch her? 8)

my imagination tends to me get into trouble...

true, don't use your imagination dave, especially if it includes visual images.

http://www.uszata.com/eksplorer/galeria/lidka/logowe.jpg

No, I felched them  8)

it's sussexes fault

you're my hero 8)

I hope things work out with Rachel, you're due a lucky break.

no he's not he's a cunt

As Sussex hasn't been much help here's a tip for you Dave, find the older bird get your nob out put in her hand and cry, works every time. Good luck!

:grin:

I'm too tired to give Dave the full sp on pulling older birds right now.

It's dead easy. I'll probably start a thread on it at some point though  :roll: