Thetownend.com

Help is needed please asap  :cry:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/8683196.I___m_trapped_in_my_own_home_/?ref=mr  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

“There is no way I could possibly move it by myself, I have ME and am lacking in energy."

Lazy bitch. It's a kiddie size mattress too.

You lot have probably had plenty of recent experience of kiddie size mattresses

Stories like this make me want to eat my own feet.  To be fair to the Adver, though, the editorial staff were probably dying of laughter when this went to press.

The bloke who took the photo could of moved it.

she could have fucking moved it!

Surely she could pole-vault over it with one of her sticks.

Or maybe even lay on it...and have a comfortable roll to one side...and bingo your past the darned mattress.

i have walked past this for the last fortnight, i will chuckle tomorrow if it's still there tomorrow.

the people opposite this leave bin bags out and then the ends up being a street of strewn rubbish afterwards. it's great living at the bottom of kingshill

she's not in her house for this picture so that's a breakthrough at least

Own up..

STFC_Legend, Swindon says...
10:34am Wed 24 Nov 10

What we really need here is for someone to fly-tip a ramp in the alley, so she can stunt jump over it. At least the landing will be soft if she does come off. I don't own a car myself so regularly leave items in Alleyways as I think of them as presents to the community, I left a 3 piece suite behind my house on Savernake Street and it was gone in 3 days so someone must have picked it up and given it a good home.

:D

On a related note....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/11828052

Love the bit about the petition.

Update later please

And one of these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2D2fP6yBzU

Let's see if she can miss the 17th bus, unlike Knievel

Is the mattress still there?  Hoping for one of those minute by minute update feeds on the Adver website today.

I have photographic evidence it's still there! A webcam aimed at it and broadcasting swindon's shame is an excellent idea

I'm waiting for this to go national.

Go and move it for her. I reckon you'd get a shag out of it.

And she's probably closer to his age than his current missus...

Technically true mulley..

This irked me at work so I have the following comments:
if she needs to leave the house in order to eat, get home delivery, she's bound to be in unless she's sobbing and looking disconsolately at the offending mattress
If she can make it to the alleyway just go feral and eat whatever she can get from the trees

No one needs to leave the house in this day and age. If you can't work a computer in order to get goods delivered maybe it's just natural selection?

Move it so it leans against her back gate. That'll learn her.

I've just remembered. I have 2 matresses in my garage that are doing nothing. Looks like a handy place to dump them.

or she could eat the fucking mattress

That alleyway looks like its falling apart, eg bricks on the path etc.

Cant be good for the tyres on the mobility tuk tuk!

ME isn't a real illness anyway...

couldn't she just go out the front fucking door lazy bint

So how has she been getting out of the house to get into a taxi or dial a ride?  Are they lifting her over the bloody mattress.  If she can't move it herself, surely there's a neighbour or a family member that could or what about the Advertiser reporting crew that went round there?  or the taxi driver or something? Absolutely bloody pathetic!

Probably full up. Looks like she's eaten a couple for breakfast.

It would be ace if a tramp was found asleep on it one morning and he refused to budge after claiming squatters rights

That's quite funny. I was thinking at least a neighbour of friend could, but it's funnier to know the Adver went round, got a picture or this poor stranded woman and then fucked off. I suspect it's more likely that between her and the Adver they decided it best remain for propaganda's sake, because she's clearly far from trapped.

The picture of her is very funny. "Woman's never-say-die attitude, extinguished by insurmountable 6" mattress in alley."

Just for a second I thought it was April 1st...  :hmmm:

I can confirm it's still there

Brilliant... have you got anything to contribute to the pile?

Just my scorn

Take a shit on it

Iv got a sofa to get rid of and now I know where to put it.

Just phoned my Mum and she knows her - she said she is the most difficult and neurotic person she knows. I can't say that comes across  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Brilliant.

Seriously?  Bennett - you could turn yourself into a knight in shining armour by moving it elsewhere!

or carrying her over the mattress if you can resist the temptation of shaking her bones on it.

I don't think that would be in the spirit of this thread though, would it?

:)

I would imagine she is the type to insist the council and only the council can remove it.

Not in the slightest.  It would be far funnier if Bennett or anyone else in the vicinity added other items to the mattress!  :D

I think you should turn it on it's side.

If someone's got a van I have 2 mattresses in my garage and an old cabinet. If someone feels like starting a pile for the old girl, I'd be more than happy to donate.

You mean like a mattress mountain.

What's the most recent confirmed sighting then?

http://household-tips.thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/old-mattress-by-Robyn_Gallagher.jpg

Postman whinges he can't get to the letter box.......in Bedford i think.

I might turn it over to give the other side an airing soon

She got anyone sleeping on it yet?

If she has I bet shes charging rent :D

That's what I thought- she could setup a little B & B, should take it to Dragon's Den.

please someone dump something there with tef on it.

I am sorry to say that although the mattress is still there it's been folded in half and moved to one side, our vigil is nearly over

Well, unfold it then godammit.

Is it still there and been unfolded? :D

Ive got a couple of chairs i need to get rid of

[url width=900 height=675]http://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k535/bennettkaru/IMG00183-20101125-0851.jpg[/url]

here's a picture from the height of "the troubles"
it has now been removed

A tramps paradise...i will pop down there tomorrow and leave a full can of Tenants for the next occupier.

awesome, that's breakfast sorted on my way to work

just so you lot know, someone has put what looks like a chest of drawers with a few bags of rubbish down this alleyway.

the vigil starts again...

Get out whilst you still can!

pics or GTFO. :D

Try reading this thread not logged on and see what ad you get ;)

I once put a broken lawnmower out the front of my house, in prep to take it down the tip.  The next morning it had vanished, job done I thought, thank fuck for the local scavs.  3 days later it bloody reappeared, since when did Theft come with a fucking warranty?

Couldn't someone scrub together a bit of an obstacle course down the alley?  Just sufficient so that she can get through, but hard enough to create some great spectator moments if her scooter skills aren't up to much.

twat. it was dark
i'll get one tomorrow morning

Has it been moved yet?  :D

This made me laugh so hard I poked myself in the eye with my fucking pen.

He'd probably get done for theft  :)

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: You guys are sick, sick, sick, SICK, FUCKING PUERILE SICK. Haven't you got anything better to do, poor fat lady, stuck in her own home. I suppose this thread comes under the "80% Bollocks" section.

Thank you once again.

Obviously not hard enough.

I bet it smells of piss . . .

. . .  and the mattress dont look too good, either