Thetownend.com

Statistically - from swindon-town-fc.co.uk. Minimum of 10 games played.

10. Gareth Edds
9. Les Wilkins (1932-33)
8. Patrick Collins
7. Tom Heaton
6. Charlie Griffin (1998-2000)
5. Andy Todd (1994-95)
4. Colin Heath
3. Steve Abbley (1979-82)
2. Roy Agar (1955-57)
1. Tony Thorpe

Half of our worst ever players came from the last decade.

2 of those players were also signed on loan from Manchester United. Which sums up how cautious youve got to be with squad players from big clubs.

Les Wilkins is a bit unfair. Watched him in my younger days and he had a turn of speed that would put Theo Walcott to shame.

Heaton wasn't bad either... A truly terrible defence didn't help his stats, did it Patrick Collins!?!

I think Heaton had an eye injury?

Wasnt it him who let a goalkeepers clearance bounce over him into the net?

You cant argue with the facts.

I'm raging about Wilkins' inclusion, his son Ray, Fabio's bitch boy, will be most aggrieved

Wasn't that Andy Lonergan? Heaton did alright in that televised Bristol City game too.

Lonergan definitely did something similar, but Heaton horribly mis-judged the bounce of the ball in a game at the CG, which bounced straight over him......Good keeper, but awful error, it has to be said.

Not that I remember.

Heaton was a decent keeper for us in a truly awful side.

I could probably name at least 100 worse players to have played for us than him. What are these stats based on anyway?

I fully agree and maybe even 30 in the last 5 years FFS

Well, most of the modern players played in relegated sides so imagine it's results based?

Eric Sabin, anybody? Worthy of a place within the top 20 anyway

Well you can actually Spence. As the saying goes, 'there are lies, damned lies and statistics'. Heaton was a decent keeper. That is a fact.

results in competitive games.

That run early in the 2005-06 season was the worst in our history.

You cant argue with the facts, everything else is pure opinion! hehe. Bet I can wind some of you right up with this one.

what facts? you haven't posted a single fact in this thread at all.

neale fenn was one of the worst loan signings ive ever seen.

ooooooh. Get you.

I posted the website you can get them from.

www.swindon-town-fc.co.uk

Go to history, then worst players.

that doesnt tell the whole story though does it.

thats players with the worst town results in competitive games, to me that doesnt mean they are the worst players, in doesnt take their actual talent into consideration nor the rest of the team.

Just my opinion like, but there is no way in hell I'd say that Tom Heaton was a worse player for us than, say for example Gareth fucking Whalley.

Ricky Shakes.

I've just done the same search but for our top 10 best players - just to see how it reads

10. Bob Meham
9. Chris Ogden
8. Bob Fulton
7. Kenny Allen
6. Paul Roberts
5. Andy Monkhouse
4. Paul Hunt
3. Tom Davies
2. Nicky Coleman
1. Jimmy Pugh

!!!!!

No, course not.

Where is the pig farmer of the year in that list?!

edit: Oh wait, min 10 game. I see.

I think all town fans could do a much worse list, using only the last few seasons squads.

this is something that can never be proved one way or another.it's all about opinions.

ricky shakes is the worst player i have seen in years.juan cobian on a 3 year contract only played a few matches(in a rare run out away to walsall was one of the worst individual performances i can ever remember).

Hehe. If you make it starting players only, then that gets rid of Monkhouse. And puts Barry Corr 7th on the list. Played 20, 10 wins, just 2 defeats.

Re sign Barry Corr!!!!!

I'm surprised Shaun Close isn't there.

Mark McCammon should be up there in terms of worst loan signings. It says something for Jimmy Quinn had to come out of retirement because he was so shit.

You think Fola Onibuje > Ricky Shakes?

Jamie Slabber has to be in the top 5. Hopeless.

ricky shakes was here for a while,so i had longer to hate the useless cunt

If you take out substitute appearances, and make it post WW2 players only, it puts Charlie Austin as 8th on the list of best ever players.  :toocool:

Played 32, won 17, drawn 9. Fantastic record.

Ah so many happy memories :)

That was v Port Vale from memory.

A warning form history....don't follow up a decent season by losing your top scorer and filling the team with loans.... ;)

Tony Thorpe was poor in his several outings.

Agree with Ricky Shakes, what about Brian Kilbane? That fat hairy useless piece of shit we had at the back in the Premiership.

Totally agree, he was fucking wank

I think you mean Brian Kilcline.

Talking about overwight defenders, don't forget Razor Ruddock.

Correct about Neale Fenn, but you've got to add Bertie Brayley to that list.

Alistair Sperring GK, 1 game on loan from Southampton at home to Bristol Rovers let in 5 goals. utter cack, couldnt catch a ball to save his life, nice pitch sunny weather, terrible performance. Looked a bit like Frankensteins monster too IIRC.

John Buttigieg, attrocious Maltese international on loan to us from Brentford, dire, utterly dire.

Jeez its so easy to put together a team of utter dogshit, much much easier than making up a side of world beaters!

I did actually mean Brian Kilcline :doh:

David Peach, Andy Rollings, Simon Gibson, Micky French, Mark Seagraves, Jason Drysdale, Mark Robinson, Gary Elkins, Richard Dryden, Nicky Tanner, Jake Findlay, Shaun Close and thats just off the top of my head.

I don't recall Buttigieg as being particularly terrible....he only made 4 appearances of which I saw 2, a 1-0 home win v Wolves and a 4-2 away win v Scum.

Not saying he was much good mind....just very average

I recall Jon Beswetherick being subject of much bemoaning.

Mark McCammon was so bad, it went past the stage of fans booing him. He's the only player I can remember where the fans (myself included) were actually laughing at him. He was that bad. He went on to have a fairly lengthy career, considering how piss poor he was. I vaugely remember him looking a bit like Wesley Snipes :hmmm:

He would get my vote as worst ever Town player.

Only seen about 5 of them play in my time ;)

The underlying memory of the lanky fullback was his first touch was dire and running the ball into touch almost every time he kicked the ball, that was an awful game though.

Remember Adi Viveash coming on as sub and being played as a winger, his first touch was to run up the wing and misscontrol the ball and it run simply out for a throw in for Boro.

i remember the viveash sub appearance vs middlesborough.he thengot subbed himself.

Excuse me, I think you will find he was a Maltese international!

That 4-2 at Headington was superb 8)

Gary Elkins, Kim Heiselberg, Terry Gibson, Shaun Close, Tony Thorpe, Gareth Whalley, Frank McAvennie, Lawrie Sanchez, Adam Willis, Bobby Howe.

Just 10 random players who i remember were very shit!

I always associate Sean Close and Adi Viveash with our glory years, they played zero input, but for that reason they're excluded.

Gary Alexander.

/End thread

Matt 'Fairy' Hewlett

Behave! Hewlett was actually quite good for us for a period

Didn't he get sent off against Plymouth, he was on loan from Sheff. Wed.

Think it was the infamous and grim 3-0 loss to Cheltenham wasn't it?

Juan Cobian......here for about 2 years played about 2 games and was probably on a fair wedge as well!

Jason Drysdale. done.

There is one person we haven't mentioned on this thread...Joey Beauchamp !!!

And there is one player one of my ex-work colleagues used to go on about...Gary Emmanuel !!

Emmanuel wasn't terrible. Had seen his best days by the time he got here, but nowhere near as bad as David Peach for example.

I bought the video of that 4-2 win at Poxford (they weren't very friendly on the phone when I ordered it, for some reason). Within the first 5 minutes we were 2-0 down and Mark Stein had a one-on-one with Digby - the save proved to be the turning point. The commentators' attempt at pronouncing Buttigieg's name is very funny, but nothing compared to his increasing anger and frustration as the game wears on - it is absolute fucking comedy gold. He's obviously a proper fan & the misery, the whining & the despondency he displays makes it possibly the best £15 or so that I've ever spent.

An amusing Viveash memory is when he scored a header vs Sporting Lisbon in a friendly. They were absolutely pulling us to pieces all over the park, really impressive and enjoyable stuff it was, & the sight of that fucking ox scoring a header against them just made us, and everyone around us in the Shrivvy Rd, piss themselves rather than celebrate the goal.

Not sure if it's been mantioned but Viveash's debut was the most i've ever cringed at football, poor bastard, in both senses of the phrase.

Ivor the Engine had one shit season and one really good season.

Emmanual was 27 when he arrived to replace Kammy....3 seasons and a first drop to Div 4 later, we achieved our lowest ever league position, I'm not going to blame him solely for that utter crapness, but for a player to have racked up 100+ appearances he's right up there in the all time list.

The daddy's boy Blair Sturrock, and in the same period, not sure if he made the 10 game mark, Moses Ashikodi. Bart Griemink also springs to mind

Neither Sturrock nor Griemink should be anywhere near this thread.  Blair ran the channels and got a few goals, not great but not awful.

Bart was good on his day, but prone to the odd clanger.

My own nomination goes to Frazer McHugh.

blair sturrock in the game vs nottingham forset was different class.
some poor shouts here i think,with players who had their nightmares, but were also mom on occasions

peter holcroft.

looked like a crackhead and played like one

David Peach.
Crap and a freeloader, and at the time our most expensive signing ever, but bought with the money we got for Rogers so doubly crap.

Wasn't Peach with the money from Paul Rideout?? But yes he was still shite (I think Rogers bought us the North Stand)

No, yes and no....1/3

Got to add Nigel Gray to this list, with Richard Dryden the worst defenders to put on a town shirt.

ok as my allegiance is switching back to the town (I support pompey), ill reel off a couple of names I remember seeing when i used to go with the old man...

alex smith
carl tiler

thought both were shit...tiler especially

2 clubs? tutut..

Marko Tuomela

Anyone who witnessed his inept performance away at Bournemouth in 2000 would've been left in doubt that he truely was the king of joke footballers... I kept expecting Beadle to come on the pitch to inform the 1500 odd travelling Town fans that they'd all been part of some cruel, piss taking hoax..... and in fact this "Finnish international" was really just some wino tramp dragged in from the gutter and dressed in a replica kit.

I can't even remember him!

God I wish I didnt...

To be fair I think he only played about 5 games before Colin 'I know talent when I see it' Todd packed him back off to Norway or wherever

Haha I knew someone would say that

I was there.  I couldn't believe how poor he was.

Darren Dykes anyone?

Bobby Howe - absolute dogshit.  Couldn't tackle a fish supper (just for Ron!)

But his performances at Wolves and WBA in the league cup in 2001 keep him well away from this list.  The boy had some talent, but didn't have a clue what to do with it most of the time. 

Fat, too.

Hutchinson is up there for me.....no talent, no clue and no passion.....only excuses..

i met howe once,and came way thinking he was a prick.

Not entirely relevant though, is it?  Glenn Hoddle was a prick.  Still the best player I've seen in a town shirt.

My old man man met Shaun Close once and  said he was a very nice man indeed.  Maybe niceness and ability are inversely proportional?

i dont think he is anywhere near a top 10 worst players list,but a prick nonetheless.

Nicky Tanner.

Did you ever see him play Samdy?  Wasn't that 1990?  I had you pegged as younger than that.

It was a submission on behalf of herthab.

Ah I see - I always had him down as quite an old man...

 
:nod:

Yeah, he's ancient.

He came in as cover for Calderwood, after he had been crocked by Steve Bull.

i remember him being here,but have no recollection of how well he played.

He made Ifill look like Bobby Moore. In fact he made Mark Seagraves, Richard Dryden and Simon Gibson look like Bobby Moore. Dogshit doesn't even begin to describe what a useless fuck he was.

Come on Chalkie, be fair with your assesment.
He wasn't that good. :)

Nicky Tanner (aged 23) Bristol Rovers to Liverpool. You just don't get transfers like that anymore!

Port Vale away, possibly snowing a bit...the birth of 'Bobby Howe, Sexy Football'.  He is not on this list (he was shit though).

I was there - it was a night game. He chose to do every good thing that he ever did in a Town shirt in that 1 game. I remember the chant, and I remember he simply didn't put a foot wrong. Twas indeed funny, and wierd, because he was shitting cack.

I met Shaun Close many times and I can confirm that he IS a prick.

Alan O'Brien

Craig Taylor.

remember him scoring from like 40 yards out once when i was a youngen

and hand ball on the line at home to ipswich when we got stuffed 6-0

Yeah I remember that Ipswich game. I remember him getting sent off another time too. I wanna say Bradford at home...

I was like... 12/13 for that 6-0... Dad made me stay till the end. Character building stuff. Pissed it down too.

think i was the same age not too sure think we was 4-0 down at half time, also i think that was his last game for us

That 6-0 Ipswich game took place on my 13th birthday.  Suffice to say that I dont hold Craig Taylor in the highest regard.

Just how fucking old are you?

Must of been french!