Thetownend.com

further evidence that they're a bunch of fucking stupid gimps.

i have a new job in hmv and here are a few examples of their retardedness:

1. queuing part I. it's not that hard. we're supposed to be good at it. logic says not to queue where you're going to be in the way of others. where do they queue? right down the busiest isle in the store. we put a new display in the way to try and direct them, yet they still need shouting at from time to time.

2. dickhead customer: "do you have any x-box's in stock?"
me: "no, sorry mate, we're all sold out"
dickhead customer: "none left, are there?"
me: *gives "you're a twat" look*

3. queuing part II. entrance and exit for the queue are clearly marked by a number of signs. people queue at the exit sign.

me: "sorry mate, the queue's just up there (about 5 metres on their left)"

then they give me an unimpressed look and ask "where?"

me: "right where all those people are standing in a queue, cuntface"

4. refunds. customer: "i bought this dvd, can i have a refund please?"
me: "sorry mate, our policy is to only refund when faulty. we can exchange for anything else in the store though (and i can give them gift vouchers if they're not a wanker)".
customer: "well, i doesn't say that anywhere"
me: "ur, well if you look on the back of the receipt, it says it there. and also on the 1 metre square large font sign right above yours and my head. and on that other massive sign as you walk out the door."
customer: "oh"

5. queuing part III. if you're standing at the front of a queue, personally i pay attention and look for the next available cashier. if i see someone who's just been served walk away, i look to see if that cashier is now free and wanting a customer. apparently, this is not normal practice in the public domain. in order to attract the customer, it is necessary to raise your arm in the air and shout "NEXT CUSTOMER PLEASE!" approximately 3 times at the top of your voice.

----------------------------

6. and one mistake from my infallible self. i'm working on a till close to the front of the queue, so i can see the next customer and they can see me. its about 2pm and i've been working since 9am so i'm pretty pissed off with the public and their inability to queue. "NEXT PLEASE!". i can see the next lady. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO MOVE DOWN TO THE TILL PLEASE MADAM!?". "CAN I HELP YOU PLEASE!?". the tone of my voice is angry. i shout once more and she walks forward to my till. she's blind and didn't know she was the next customer so was unsure whether or not to go  :oops:

I normally get so bored waiting in queues I temporarily forget where I am 'cos I don't have the attention span to concentrate on queueing for so long.  I think that's the problem, you need to keep the queue entertained somehow. Perhaps do some sort of crazy dancing at random intervals or something, they'll think you're mental but they'll concentrate better, ergo problem solved.

it's not as though the queue is slow moving though, there's normally about 8 cashiers on at once.

and we do entertain them in a way with our shouting and arm-raising.

It's a difficult problem. I think people just shut off their brains when they're queueing 'cos they think they're just going to be standing about for ages so it helps pass the time. Short queues come as a shock so it takes them a few seconds to realise where they are. It might help if you made you're shouting and armraising rhythmic. :idea: Or pretend to have tourettes.

on my first day there was a guy with tourettes in the store  :shock:

People are incapable of queueing. Where I work, nobody queues properly and they just bundle in front of the counter, so you have to guess who was next in line the majority of the time and if you're busy it's difficult to keep an eye on who is where so you end up serving people out of order and people get annoyed and walk off.

Their loss.

I hate queueing (fuck knows hows that ones spelt) so I normally don't bother going shopping. Simple.

I work in Great Western McDonalds, dont get me started on the General Public i've had plenty of an encounter

But you're one of these run-of-the-mill knobs yourself

Like spiting in burgers.

well buddy, if you think it's bad now just you wait until boxing day!


regards,
someone who knows.

What are you trying to suggest blinktit

Today, I was shouted at by three customers, sworn at by two customers and a dozen rolled their eyes/gave me a horrible look/stormed off like a five year old.

Work is great fun!

Note to self, never get a job in a pharmacy. Today i stayed clear of all complaints. I got plenty of thankyou's a smiles, i am the example employee

Yeah, thankyou for the 5-1 win  :soapy tit wank:

Your the brightest lamp in the street are you blinkpip. Here we are talking about Customer care issues and you bring up the Spurs Saints score at the weekend. fool

Chill  8)

with all the returns you mean?

it's going to be hell.

Fair play Oxford I was in HMV today and I felt for the poor souls behind those tills.  Rammed packed with the living dead, mouths open just standing in the way of everything and everyone.

You have answered a quetion though as I need to return a DVD for something else.

When I was in FCUK during my Uni days the sales starting on Boxing Day was living hell.

my good god imight stab some people one day. fuckin slow walkers infront of you and fast ones behind you. why cant everyone get out of my way?

top tip here. when walking along a busy shopping street, look up towards shop signs just ahead of you and everyone will move out of your way. works every time.

What?

The suicidal stroll   :D  

Never fails!

What gets on my tits the most is the dancers.  Those feck wits that catch your eye, you swerve out of the way and they then match your movement until your on top of each other.

Those and the idiots that stand in the middle of a busy street or shop and just stand in everyones way in their ignorance.

another gripe.

when men pay for things, they come up to the counter, put down the cd or whatever it is they are buying, then remove the correct money from their wallet - sometimes they've even got the correct money to hand.

women don't do the same. the daft bints walk up, put down the cd, open their handbag, rummage around for their purse, then either take an age to choose which card to pay by or spend about 5 minutes counting their notes and coins.

if you're standing in a massive queue for a minute, why not have the initiative to get some money ready you slags?

hmmmmmm that sounds familiar...is it lee evans or something?

not that i'm aware, i made it up on the spot.

I cocked it up. I forgot I only had 20 quid, I thought it was 30.

Got me The Verve for a fiver and An American Werewolf in London (not even ID'd, odd)

edward scissorhands
portishead - dummy

two that i noticed in the sale today

The bit about women and men is very true OF, i've learnt that as well  :D