Thetownend.com

The will is taped to the wardrobe door.

Thank fuck for that message, i was wondering where it was. I don't suppose they say what's in it do they?

Why would someone tape their will to a wardrobe door? Surely inside a biscuit tin on the shelf above the toaster would be more practical.

They didnt say,they just said that is.The other side doesnt know reasons just facts.

I looked there already and drew a blank. If Yeovil's message from the other side is correct then I'm minted. Oh yes, which wardrobe?

You're good! Have you ever considered having highlights and getting your ears pierced?

Couldn't you offer them eternal damnation, a Pox season ticket or shagging Maggie T as a bribe to spill the beans.

on tuesday the letter j will save your life.

If my biscuit tin is anything to go it would take years before the will would be discovered, and by that time it will have moulded itself in a tangled web of fungus with the rotting 1/4 of a Custard Cream and half a Rich Tea.

Simply tape your biscuits to the wardrobe door. This will free up your biscuit tin for the safe storage of important documents.

There's a lot of residual energy in this thread.

Should I have any idea what this thread is about?

you will know when you know

Is it wrong that I was snooping around some paperwork in my house a few years ago and found my Gran's will? She's still alive, just.

It's not wrong unless you alter it and then kill her.

How can I alter it?

Tipex?

exactly.

Or write a new one, get her drunk and make her sign it.

Sorted.

Now, how can I kill her?

She likes cats and squirrels and Robert Kilroy, so maybe a trap involving at least two of those three. A diagram would be helpful.

Tell her you're a Scummer, that should do the trick after she's spat at you with her last breath.

-2/10. Getting worse. Completely illogical this time. Do you have a brain? I've not noticed you before so I can't tell if its just poor form, or whether you are some kind of invalid.

I quite liked it.

Back on topic, wait until she is watching repeats of Kilroy and smother her with cats or squirrels.

A bit like you guys, i don't think I've ever hit form. I'd go for the invalid option. I'll keep trying though until I get a positive score from you. I didn't think this one was that bad.  

A little better.

We hit form when it last mattered. And I don't mean 1986.

2006?

Put on a Kilroy-Silk mask and seduce her to death

Put a Kilroy-Silk mask on a squirrel, get it to seduce her, then pull the mask off at the vital moment. That'd finish most folks off (although thinking about it, I'd probably be more perturbed by thinking I was shagging a squirrel and it turned out to be Kilroy Silk)

What happened that year? Did we lose in the playoffs to Exeter? I was thinking more 2002:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/fa_cup/2548927.stm

Can't believe that was over 6 years ago now. Hurry up and get relegated twice so we can have some more derbies, the above and Gary Alexander blowing a kiss to the London Road are my only two memories.


Forgery and murder aren't enough for you Si Pie? You have to bring lude and incestious acts into this. You've neglected squirrels and/or cats in your dirty plan, unless the hair on the Kilroy-Silk mask is made of their furs? Yes its probably that.

Bleach your hair, get your ears pierced and pretend you've been possessed by the ghost of Robert Kilroy-Silk, who was killed by a gang od squirrels and cats.

Then seduce her to death.

So you fully admit there's no chance of you going up a division.

No, I think we'll do good with Wilder (our manager) next season at the latest. I was joking.

i wish gene wilder managed us.

...with the new backroom staff?

[url width=360 height=286]http://images.smarter.com/blogs/wonka1.jpg[/url]

Aaaah. Dennis had children.

Looks like Sammy Igoe is Willie Wonka's right hand man.