Thetownend.com

I don't know if anyone else gets this sort of crap at work, but it does my head in! We have some tinpot motivation commitee in my office. They disappear off for 2 hour meetings and come back with cake bakes and wordsearches. 2 hours! A chimp could have thought of that in 5 seconds. What gets me is this... If you haven't got time to make a cake then you can chip in some cash to buy some and then we'll sell them. So I've got to give money to buy cakes and then I've got to buy the cakes back. I'm not sure how spending money is supposed to motivate me. They've asked for suggestions and I've replied ' stop treating me like a fucking child'. Motivation! I can't wait to get up in the morning. The sickness record in my area is fucking horrendous so I think it's safe to say that their methods aren't working.

I'm not allowed to say it at work because I get called a miserable killjoy bastard. So I've put it here and you can call me a miserable killjoy bastard.

I feel your pain brother, although we don't have that kind of thing for motivation, we just have a cake bake for charity every friday.  I put in £2 for a couple of cakes the other week and was told in no uncertain terms that I should have put more in, as "it would have cost you more in Marks & Spencers".

Well I don't shop in M&S and if I did I wouldn't be going in there to buy cakes.  Next time they do a cake bake I'll keep my money in my pocket and give £2 to a more grateful charity.

The managers in our area don't see 'staff motivation' as keeping us happy, but more working extra hard when we've got targets to meet at certain points of the year. It's all a bit carrot and stick really. But with a very unattractive carrot. "Ooh, here look. If you do 10 hours overtime this week we'll give you ONE raffle ticket and you MIGHT win a Bacardi Breezer and a packet of sweets". Fucking do one.

I don't get motivation incentives, just fully paid ski trips to italy....if only I hadn;t torn my ankle ligaments...grrr.

All the fluffy motivational stuff seems to miss our department... i'm glad of this.

ha ha I miss working in a bit office and having all of this shit - NOT!

You need one of these

[url width=500 height=415]http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/despair-poster-idiocy.jpg[/url]

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/posters/

Modern toss is ace for ideas on how to act in work...
http://www.moderntoss.com/comics&books.html

[url width=900 height=1583]http://gallery.me.com/paul.rossiter/100045/modertoss/large.jpg[/url]

Exactly, it used to make me seethe. We had some kind of cupboard in the corner and if you did something extra good, you were allowed to go to the cupboard and choose something. In the cupboard were sweets, crisps and i believe some beers. I thought it was so fucking condescending even having the cupboard let alone the barer of good news going up to an adult, and fellow "employee", and saying, "Wow! Yeah! Hey! Gee, listen, your work's been badass this week, you can go to the cupboard and treat yourself to something special! **company loving highfives all round**".

I detest high fives, they are an insult to hands.

I don't get any motivational shit. All my boss ever say's is in a scacastic tone is well done for doing your job properly. He's more of a de-motivational chap.

Wages and the threat of the sack if you don't do your job.

What more motivation does anyone need?

What motivation, I wish.  You think your doing well then some cunt shits on you again! I want to go back and work for a Council.  Least the people had a sense of humour. I'm noty allowed to laugh or call people cunts anymore :(

I don't care so they can all fuck off

Yeah work for the Council (public service) no one will ever sack you and you get shit loads of holiday and huge state backed pension and at the end of the day nothing matters as it's not your money and the tax payer picks up the tab for any mistakes, delays etc

Exactly GFM!

I miss the council!

Considering most council jobs in England are now outsourced to private sector companies, you're talking out of your arse.

Are they?!?

Yes. Swindon Council for one definitely is.

But don't forget council workers don't just work in the council buildings.

As for Swindon council, well if most of it is outsourced then thats why its run so badly...

*asre