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I've got a swollen bollock, docs reckon it could be twisted.
I wish it on noone, it is the worst pain ever, I cant do anything, even walking hurts at the moment.
I hope these antibiotics fucking work.

A twisted bollock?

Owch.

a twisted bollock you say.

played football with a guy who had a twisted bollock, he's now called womble for a reason

It's fucking horrible.
I can't train, obviosuly can't play Wednesday. Doubt i'll be able to play Saturday and Sunday either.
It's fucking shit.

How would antibiotics help a torsion injury?

Are they not anti inflammatories you're on? 

That's what I thought Axs.
It's not definately twisted, so if the antibiotics don't sort it, which it doesn't look like they will. I think they'll say it's definately a twist.

how did it happen, dare i ask?

I have no idea. It started of as just feeling a bit bruised. Then got worse and worse.

Bloody GPs prescribe antibiotics for everything.

No wonder MRSA is increasing - although not as much as Daily Mail would have you believe.

Does it heal on it's own or do you need a Operation?

On it's own as far as I know.

Left or Right?

Right

the worst pain ive ever felt is splitting my foreskin, fucking hell!!

Lightweight. Try snapping your banjo, the clean up operation is a nightmare!

Sorry to hear about your bollock, bollock injurys are fucking shit, which reminds me of a story i really have a desire to tell. And no i'm not trying to detract or better your problem, because it's certainly worse than mine. :)

I used to be a BMX Bandit and decided to be a bit stupid one day and drop in to a bowl nicknamed Satan's Toilet, although actually called the Key Hole Bowl, in Southsea Skatepark. I was talked into doing it from a raised area or "tombstone" making the bowl 17ft deep with about 4 feet of vertical on it.

Anyway, i sit there for a moment shitting my pants, then go for it. As i near the bottom the G-Force is such that my feet both came off the pedals and my bollocks and mainly cock, met my seat, the seat then met the seat post and bent around the side. I then felt the seat post with my delicate areas and then the rear tyre.

I crawled out unable to walk in pain and laid down crying, well not crying but you know, eyes watering, making alot of noise - unable to talk - thinking your cock and balls had come off. I'd grazed my cock and balls a fair bit and had a blood blister on my bellend which covered almost 1/4 of the surface. It stung like fuck, but after about 20 minutes i was okay and completed my mission, new saddle installed. Nothing like yours though, mine was just a short sharp pain and a story i felt the need to tell, in order to stroke my own ego.

This is Satan's Toilet fwiw, the raised bit is where i entered from. :D

Anal is worse

One of my mates slipped in the bath when pissed and fell over straight onto the hot tap, it went straight up his arse and because he moved with pain he could not release such tap, ho ho, he had to be cut away from the tap, now pretty sober, fucking pain or what.
His arse was stitched up for 10 days, know I didn't laugh, not much.
Ha Ha

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha a twisted bollock. i know that's not helping you but fucking Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick.

personally, compound fracture to my ankle smarted a bit.

I got a paper cut today.

It stung a little.

You hard nut

I just worked through the pain Dean. It's one of my many qualities.

Was that before or after you perved on the old ladies on the way to the beach

Dislocated shoulder...morphine was my friend.

I guess my worst injury would have to be the whole incident at Barnet away. Still haven't worked out how I managed to "walk" home on a broken ankle

You're in good company, Steven Tyler (singer with Aerosmith) did a whole gig on a broken ankle once.  It was the 70s (buckaroo), and he was responsible for the GDP of Colombia which may explain it.

Thtas his story and he's sticking to it ;)

Ah you could imagine it on teletext couldn't you.

I got one full on in the bollocks last week playing 6-a-side,coughing and sneezing is a fucking mare,I think I've done serious damage but too scared to go to the docs

dislocating my knee hurt, but i was drunk so i wouldnt really know.

i walked at a fairly brisk pace into one of those automatic gate things they have in tescos, except i walked through one of the exits without realising it, it closed and my todger took the full impact, i crawled on the floor next to the security guard and stayed there for like 5 minutes, it hurt like hell.

i did my banjo once. fucking agony, the worst part is in the shower the next morning.

after a week or two i thought that it would be alright again so had another go. i was wrong. i felt it ping and looked down and sw my bellend turn from purple to white in 2 seconds flat. blood everywhere.

it makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

 A testicular torsion requires an immediate surgical opinion, your GP should have referred if in his opinion a testicular torsion is a possibility. The reason you feel the pain is because the blood supply to the affected testicle is reduced. If anybody on line can contact STFC4LIFE advise him to go to out of hours GP service or A&E  ASAP  waiting for the pain to subside will be too late.

A friend of a friend had this twisted bollock thing... he was driving home from a Sunday League game and had to pull over such was the pain.

He now is one nut short of a pair...

Is that the same person I mentioned Al?

I don't think so...

Did Simon play for Royston when you did?

Quality, you couldn't make that up. :D

Drinking injuries are ace, my mate did his knee on alcohol by taking a run up to boot what looked like a flexible sign mounted on the curb, you know those things that are perspex and have a weighted base to blow around in the wind. This one wasn't flexible and was sheet steel built into a brick base. We couldn't stop laughing long enough to get an ambulance.

I was tripping at reading in 89 and ran into a barbed wire fence. i started kaughing and ihnns

I kaugh and ihnns all the time