Thetownend.com

As some of you know i run a bar in Brighton, im here at the moment, got my laptop on the end of the bar, well heres the dilemma......

Its a beautiful day and i want to sit outside and have a fag, but Im on my own and this sort of regular bloke has come in and wont go outside, hes sat on a barstool drinking strongbow hes a bit of a seymour and wont stop talking to me. I cant leave him in here on his own, all my others customers are sat outside in the sun. TEF decides how i get him out without losing his custom

ask him, as a valued customer, for suggestions on how to do up the outside of the bar.

Or just spike his drink.

a bit of a seymour :D

Why get him out?

Just go out for a fag yourself and get one of your minions in to supervise the numpty for you.

I assume hes not a smoker and you cant ask if he wants to come outside for a ciggy with you?

Im on my own, i hate paying little student cunts to fuck around on my watch.

do you smoke now?

sometimes, is it wrong to exploit deacons? I have just sent him to the shop to buy me some fags, I said he could get himself a bar of chocolate out of the change :)

tell him you fancy soaking up the sun -- why dont we take this chat outside?

exploit deacons :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

What a chat up line, Funny as fuck

some fucking smack head just robbed my condom machine

Not Guilty i am in Swindon

how? did he just walk out under his arm or something?

ripped it off the wall, took the money tray but left the condoms, must be ugly.

so much for safe sex.

seriuoslu though thats a fucker

couldnt give a monkeys if im honest, not my machine and ive had all the condoms out of it and called the police.

argh i thought u might have had to pay rent or something on it

was there much money in it at 5pm on a tuesday ? must have been an interesting lunch time if so

there was probably about 100 quid, hasnt been emptied for a while. Ive m anaged to get about 40 packets of condoms though :)

Probably Johnny Foreigner.

i ve made the deacon start cleaning :)

I hope you get robbed again now, you tight old cunt.

fucking :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

The landlord of an old local of mine in Windsor use to have two condom machines in the gents, the squaddies use to put there money in, but no condoms ever came out (the machine was empty), not once did a squaddie ever come up to the bar and complain. He made a small fortune out of the randy sods.
The locals of course knew the machine was empty.

Johnny Cash ?

They should have all got their own back by gangbanging his daughter.

mex was going to ask, when im back down south i'll probably live in brighton can you employ me please.

i have management experience dont you know.

no worries, if you fuck around i will give you a fucking kicking.

Bad boy, rap round the knuckles for you!!!!