Thetownend.com

Fuck me my posts ain't half been cheerfull of late innit, apologies for that

But anyway my better half has for the second time been told that she has an ectopic pregnancy. She is feeling a tad guilty about having to have it aborted (For the second time) which is understandable really.

I was not with the misses at the time, and apparently the Doctor gave her no direct advice apart from that there is a 10% chance that all will be OK, which tells me that there is a 90% chance of something going horribly wrong. Therefore I have advised her to get an abortion, I honestly think that I am doing the right thing in doing that.

I know that it may possibly be a tad personal for some but has anybody else here shared the dilema?

To answer my own post it is a bit of a non-argument really.

I have done a bit of web surfing and ectopic pregnancies are generally considered as "False pregnancies" and so the "Treatment" is not considered an abortion. There is barely any moral issue behind it either.

I have done some googly searches over the last half hour and apparently abortion (Of any description), and apparently about 80 Women have died in Nicaragua because they where not allowed to terminate their ectopic pregnancy.

Sorry to hear about that BR  :(

doesn't really sound like there is a decision to be made. sad though.

Cheers Dave but my post was not intended that way, I was looking more for opinion than sympathy. Regardless your sentiments are appreciated.

But really what are others thoughts?, as I said my wife is a bit down in the dumps because she feels guilty, but personally I consider it to be a medical situation, after all we where not planning for the kid. If that sounds insensitive it is because I don't quite know how to explain it.

So where should the line be drawn between abortion and "Treatment" in both the moral and legal sense? What if a woman was made pregnant through rape for example, should she be made to carry that child?

in my opinion a woman has the right to have an abortion no matter how how she became pregnant.

It sounds like common sense really, if she was likely to die then its for the best really. Abortion is a messy issue though, and i don't really know what to think on the matter.

Just my personal opinion, but if your wifes life is going to be put in danger.. Sad and horrible, but it sounds like you've come to the right conclusion.

Firstly it doesn't sound like it has been a rash decision and you have done it for the right reasons.

It's probably better not to think about things too much. Every situation is different after all. I know it's a completely different thing but people put down their pets all of the time - they do it for the right reasons. In the right circumstances I don't think abortion is wrong at all.

Its a very personal thing RED and every person on here will probably have a different opinion,so its down to your judgement....best wishes.

Personally, I'm against abortion.

Reading this post has actually given me a moral dilemma, I'm stumped as to what I would do in this situation.

I can understand your predicament, it must be very difficult.

A close friend of mine had an eptopic pregnancy. Rather than say she had the baby aborted id rather think of her as misscarrying.  She never had a choice as she was rushed into hospital and was in serious danger of losing her own life. Still doesnt make the hurt go away though... i hope you work through things dude and your lady gets through it!

As for abortion... when i was 18 i thought i was against it...so chose to have my baby when i fell pregnant (i was in a long term relationship and used contraceptives!). But if i knew then what i knew now i would not have been against it and would support anyone who chose to abort if it were for the right reasons
That said, i wouldnt be without my son now

My thoughts exactly - it's a real tough one.

Hope all goes ok BR

Would you put down a pet if it was going to suffer?

EDIT: I'm not arguing, just interested.

I suppose it depends in what way/how much.

As for the pregnancy, I see both sides of the argument and honestly don't think I could decide either way until I was put into that situation.

I wouldn't put a pet down, the same way I don't agree with euthanasia.

Have you ever had a dog Sam?

I've had to put 3 down in the past, as their qu.ality of life had deteriorated  so much that it was crueler to keep them alive (In fact, keeping them alive would have been more for me than them).

Very few dogs die in their sleep, most are put down. It's easy to say you shouldn't but when you're in that situation your opinion changes.

As for euthanasia, if the person had an incurable disease, that would cause much suffering and loss of faculties and they wanted to avoid it (And also avoid becoming a burden) why not? It took my Nan 5 years to die after being diagnosed with Altzhiemers, the last two of those were horrible for both her and my Grandad.

Just my opinions...............................

You have to listen to what 'experts' tell you and make an informed decision based upon your particular situation, rather than some generalized moral principles spouted by a stranger on an internet footie forum.

Once you have been in the position though, I think its a bit of a no-brainer.

NMH

If your wife can abort and safegard her future there is nothing stopping you moving on and creating a life that will no longer risk your wifes life with another baby.  I hope you and your wife get through this

Totally agree with Ashley.  Good luck BR.

Yes and it died of natural causes.



Because it's my beliefs, I just don't agree with it.

Humans and animals are designed to die naturally, I think it's wrong for life to be ended unnaturally.

So sam say your mrs was having a slow death due to illness would you wnat to see her die natuarally (over months in pain) or would you help her.  (sorry to use her as an example)

I have to disagree with you there just because I don't believe humans and animals were designed.

I think that the right to abortion is correct (and in some cases under utilised), putting pets down is fine, and i also believe there is a place for euthanasia (but it'd need some kind of guidlines).

Hello BR.

My wife is due to give birth to our son in May, so these issues have been discussed briefly within the 8Ball household.

Basically, I'm surprised the Doc said that there was a 10% chance of everything being Ok....As far as I understood it, there is no chance of a healthy baby being born from and ectopic pregnancy, and even if there was, they would never risk the mothers life by letting the baby grow in the fallopian tubes.

Therefore, you didn't even have a decision to make. I'm sure if this was occuring in the UK, they would have told you it was ectopic, passed on their sympathies, and sorted it out straight away so they didn't endanger your wife's life any further.

Also, depending on how early they catch the pregnancy, they may, or may not have to remove one of your wife's tubes. If this is the case, this can cause problems conceiving in the future. If this is her second ectopic, and she had a tube removed the first time, and she had the other tube removed this time, then a natural conception would now be impossible.

Sorry for that last bit, just wanted to make sure you understood the whole thing!

BR this isn't an abortion per se as in the standard moral question of "Do you agree with abortion?". Typically that debate is framed in terms of terminating an otherwise viable pregnancy for non-medical reasons. An ectopic pregnancy is not in any meaningful sense of the word - if allowed to go to term there is virtually no chance of a child being born alive and there is a very a serious threat to the health and indeed life of the mother. Under these circumstances, the standard treatment is to terminate what is a non-viable pregnancy before it can cause more serious damage to the woman's health. ie unlike "standard" abortion where there is a serious ethical discussion to be had, this is really just a medical treatment of a potentially life-threatening condition.

You should be aware though that it takes some time to recover from both physically and psychologically - it can be as traumatic as a "real" abortion - and that it can (although doesn't always) result in damage to your partner's reproductive system (ie might harm her chances of having kids in the future). Basically, she's going to need a lot of support from you fella. Best of luck to you both

I would take comfort in the fact that at the time this pregnecy was aborted. It would have only been a bundle of cells no bigger than a penny.

It is therefore debatable as to weather or not "life" had begun. This bundle of cells would certainly not have met the scincetific term of life.

I am all for early aboartion it's the late one that cause me problems. at 22 weeks a ababy can surive although it will be fucked it will still surive but you can legaly termatie at 22 weeks????????

A friend of mine gave birth at 29 weeks. Although the baby spent some time in hospital, its not living a happy, normal life. Not exactly fucked.

In England, Scotland and Wales, the legal limit for abortion is 24 weeks, not 32.

A baby has a very slim chance of survival at around 21-22 weeks.

My son was born at 32 weeks, he's fucked!  :soapy tit wank:

i mean't 22 sorry i have fat fingers!

Not specifically picking on you Sam, but there is no dilemma to be had. An ectopic pregnancy is essentially the scenario when the fertilised embryo attaches itself to the fallopian tube and starts to grow there, rather than the uterus. Quite how and why it does that is unknown, but that is the basic and most common scenario. If undiagnosed and left untreated, it will cause severe internal bleeding and is potentially fatal for the mother. Its not a viable pregnancy anyway, so IMO (and that of many experts), termination of such a pregnancy is not an abortion.

I know you weren't after sympathy BR, but you have mine. My wife and I have experienced two ourselves, one of which required my wife to have emergency surgery and an overnight hospital stay. Not a pleasant experience. Good luck, and I hope all works out for you both.

BR, I concur with Pumbaa, and wish you and your wife all the best.

I'm against terminating a baby through choice as it were, I think people should be responsible for their actions, although certain events obviously effect my moral high ground (rape for example, emotionally could be too tough for mother and little one).

However on health grounds I think that, as others have said, there's no decision to be made.  There's no point in continuing a pregnancy that will endanger the life of the mother and baby, as sad as id sounds.

No matter how many people agree with the decision, I'm sure it won't help making your Mrs feel any better about it, just wish you all the best when you get around to giving it another go mate!!