Thetownend.com

To all you plastic Scots

I thought you were passionate and patriotic about your so called heritage

Burns night and not even a mention on here

Jayohaitchen was right..............................you would all give your right bollock and your first child to be English wouldn't you !!!

Janaage's lurking  :hide:

haha guess what's in my glass and guess what's cooking on the stove?

A whiskey in my glass and the haggis is about 10 mins away from being ready.

Having said that I'm not really into Burns, his poetry doesn't really do it for me!!!

Happy burns night fred you cunt!!

Shouldnt it be Scotch?

PLastic!!!

I've only got JD at home, and that's not even from the right continent!!

Apologies to any "real" scots out there.

Plastic Jan.

:mrgreen:

how disappointing.

bottle of irn bru in the fridge though, right?

I qualify to play for Scotland due to the fact that I sat through all of Braveheart without saying 'what a load of bollocks', and if I grow a beard it's a bit ginger.

You qualify by being a miserable, yet darkly funny individual.  If you hate Maggie Thatcher you have a chance of getting a job in Holyrood (the Parliament not the school).

I went up to Edinburgh a few years back to watch Hibs v Hearts, had a skin full on the friday night.  Anyway at one stage of the saturday morning I found myself walking the streets of Edinburgh with a rolled up copy of the Daily Record in my back pocket, a hang over thumping through my head and a bottle of Irn Bru in hand.

I never felt more Scottish in all my life.

Hibs got beat 3-0 at home, just a few hours later.

Do you need to ask? I've also eaten haggis without wretching, although I only managed this by mixing it with the spuds.

how did fred know it's burns night?

closet jock i reckon!

I tried Haggis the other day. Tasted fine, but then I threw up. Is that normal, or just the spirit of William Wallace trying to piss on my English parade?

i qualify to play for scotland as my mum is from glasgow. i have had a whiskey and am meeting a bird from aberdeen in a bit. do i win?

My grandmother was scottish, my mother was born in scotland, I am proper ginger and I have several bottles of scotch in my house.

However, I decided at an early age that being English was much better, and I fucking hate offal.

 :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:

i qualify to play for scotland as I once ate in an Aberdeen Steak House.

So what's the crack with singing to the haggis before eating it then Jan? That and the skirt thing, it's all too bloody weird.

To be honest Burns baffles me, addressing the haggis and all that?  I just eat the fuckers.  As for the kilt issue, don't knock it til you try it, very refreshing around the crown jewels!!

i've worn a kilt! does this mean i'm definitely scottish?

Either that or you just like wearing women's clothes.

definitely the latter.

Good, being Scottish is definitely the worser of the two.

Hehe, Fred's a closet sweatie  :mrgreen:

I went to a Burns Supper on Friday night, an absolute fucking riot. I don't remember much. Apparantly I was shagging the Australian Exchange Officer who works in my office. And yes, he's male..... :oops:

I'm led to believe there is pictorial evidence. Oh deary me..... :-))(

I'm so glad my wife doesn't read this board.

Sorry, was out on the piss for Burns night :beers: If I had known that all of you were so desperate to be Scottish and were  after information I would have been here sooner :soapy tit wank:

Nothing beats St Paddys day.

definitely not St Georges' day.

St Georges day is rubbish.  We all know that.

Jenna's birthday

FACT