Thetownend.com

For Flammable Ben


So, we moved in to this place in 1993 and everything was blue skies. Our neighbours were an old couple called Den and Barb who even babysat Jenna for us when she was a baby so we could grab the occasional night out.

Unfortunately both Den and Barb passed away within 4 months of each other in 1999.

Den and Barb had lived in the house since it was built in 1952 so there was no garage etc, as where the previous occupiers of ours had put a garage and 4th bedroom extension on.

Anyway, we got a new neighbour, young proffessional Asian chap called Rames Sing. Really nice bloke. and things were going great.

We even gave him the key to our place so he could clear the post etc when we went on hols and water the plants.

Anyway, in 2002 he applied for planning permission to build a garage and 1st storey extension to the side of his property (that is adjacent to ours).

I went round and said that basically I had no objections bar one..........the boiler flue (which was fitted in our garage) would be blocked if any building works commenced, and that we should come to some arrangement about re-siting the boiler.

Considering we had spent 3k on a new kitchen not 6 months prior to this it posed a problem as to the new siting.

Anyway, 3 weeks later, at 07.30 one morning we heard an almighty din and opened the blinds to see a mini JCB digging footings.

"how can this be ?" thought Fred....................he must have been granted planning permission, and just accepted the situation and got ready for work.

I said to Lisa that I would pop round and sort out the boiler after work.

So...................I shoot off to work and get a phone call from the missus to say that all our power is off as the JCB has just cut through our cable.

It is our supply and we need to pay to get it reconnected and the claim back off the culprits.

OK Fred's seriously not happy now, but I pay it because we need heat light etc.

Gets back home and goes next door and remonstrates, only to be told that the guy wont reimburse me because the electricity cable was laid too shallow.

So I says fucking do one..........your cowboy builders just yeeeeehaaaard at the ground without ant thought and this bloke tells me to fuck off out of his house.

Im fucking livid

Goes back to work in the morning and decide to complain to the building inspector.....................gets through to the right department only to be told that the guy has not even had the plans approved yet.

Anyway..........the building inspector comes round the next day and shuts the work down. The builders say "Fuck this" and move on to another job.

Mr Sign then comes round in the evening and starts offering me out.

I am alone with Jen as Lisa is at work so politely tells him to fuck off.

So, he applies for planning permission retrospectively and I object on the grounds that it will interfere with my property (boiler installation)

It comes to the hearing and against everybody's belief it gets granted.

I am fucking cunting gobsmacked.

I have now got to pay £1500 to move my boiler to the kitchen, and rip out 2 new cupboards in the process all because of this twat.

So I get the boiler moved and I settle back down to life, albeit a bit pissed off


Anyway

we started getting up in the morning to find white paint being splattered all over our patio (I thought it was bird shit first off)

this was at the exact time that he had the decorators in doing the extension.

Anyway.................Freds a little mad now.

About 3 weeks later, he gets the old landscape gardeners in and they do a grand job

Their biggest mistake was to put 3 tonnes of topsoil down for 3 days before laying the turf.




So........................... On the second night at 02.30 in the morning you could have seen Fred on a step ladder throwing great big handfuls of "Barratts Wild Flower Seeds" all over his newly raked topsoil.

2 days later the turf goes down.


3 months later the turf gets dug up due to all the shit and thistles etc growing through the lawn.

Turf gets dug up

Fred repeats the exercise

Mr Sing repeats the exercise

Fred repeats the exercise

Mr Singh repeats the exercise



Mr Singh is now on his 3rd lawn in 2 years and I have not finished yet..................



The moral of this story ?



DONT FUCK WITH ME AND MINE

that was disappointing.

i didnt even know you could buy wild flower seeds

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Good god Fred, even from your point of view that story sounds like you could have handled it better. Not that I blame you really. You are a warrior at heart. I could see Mel Gibson making a film around your braveheart actions with your neighbour.

my parents moved into this house when it was built (before I was born) and we've had our neighbours for as long as I've been born.

Their eldest son is a year younger than me and we've been best mates for the best part of 19 years now.

Moral of the story, Im a nice neighbour and freds a cunt....


....I think

I know mate








I SHOULD HAVE SHOT THE FUCKER

I am

How would you have handled it Ben ?

Light up a bong and share a bottle of red ?

yeah pretty much, more discussion all round.

Did you try going round with a bottle of red to discuss the matter?

Ill tell you the unabridged version in the pub one day

aceness.

its not nice


and involves a game of knuckles in the street

After he'd got planning permission isn't your beef with the council (for the boiler stuff)? Did you ever think about taking legal action against them?

No need for expensive legal action when you have "Fred's Law" on your side mate

Ill bring the transcript of his appeal to the pub next week mate

Cant post it here as I will be accused of all sorts of things by Sonic and probably be sent to Siberia

'Sorting it out legally' vs 'Flower Power Revenge'

You did the right thing.

I did what I thought was right at the time (OK I may have been a little bit stoned, but saw the funny side)

But there are things that I was not proud of

I thought there might be Fred, it's all good nobody expects you to go into details on a public tinternet forum.

still not allowed my satellite dish at my flat, shall i shoot the fuckers?  :box:

I'll have new neighbours soon actually!

Can't wait, the people that live next door to me are really quite strange and stare at me all the time.

what a cunt of a neighbour.i wouldn't stop at where you are fred.i would make it my lifes aim to make the neighbours life as difficult as possible.

what an ace story  :soapy tit wank: - we hate our neighbours too and have been having wars over trees and hot tubs!

Ill take a picture of his lawn tonight and post it

I think he has now given up hope with it

 :mrgreen:

That is quality Fred.  I cleaned my neighbours gutters out yetserday, in comparison to yours she is a diamond!

Fucking hell Fred!  I like the part where he changes his pants  :mrgreen:

I find that story slightly childish, slightly petty but mostly hugely fucking funny.

Sums me up really

And to continue Fred, where do you stand now versus Titcombe's.  I'm just off round to show them your piece, Wild Flower seeds in their inspection pits I recommend.

They have ignored my letter

Revolution also ignored my letter the cunts  :x

I say shoot 'em.

eh ?

i'm not that much of a cunt

 :wink:  :mrgreen:

I can think of 100's of racist jokes about this.










I'm only kidding before you PC crew get on your high horse.

racist  :wink:

Ive been in my house for a good 7 weeks or so and one set of neighbours still hasn't bothered introducing themselves so my opinion is 'fuck em'!'

That Rames Singh bloke sounds like a right Cunt.

So you haven't tried the whole cup of sugar pint of milk tradition?

I only have 1 set of neighbours anyway and they are 2 lovely old people.

haha no it's not 1989 my dear.

The ones i do speak to are Northern.  :?

:mrgreen:   Well ask for a beer or 2 then if thats more 21st century!

Northerners aren't that bad.  Unless you'd rather have aussies  :wink:

I am with the chap who suggested legal action fuck moving y bolier for some  cunts extentison he can pay for it!!!!!

Its always about legal action with you!

instead of wild seed go to your local railway line and find some chinse knotweed pick a few bits of this stuff and chuck on his lawn scatter it about all over is property. That will really fuck him up knotweed grwos through concretre if you don't belive me look it up on the attahced link also giant hogsweed is good as well that can grow massive these tow plants will fuck his life up

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_knotweed
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Hogweed

Good for you Fred; I would do the same.

Years ago my sister and husband were in an accident in a car park (not their fault) and though it went through baliffs and everything the other people just didn't pay a penny.

So as they had their phone number (from the accident when they took it) my sister phoned up and pretended to be a tele-marketer and got their address.  

A few nights later my brother in law went round late at night with a can of paint and poured it all over their car and scratched it in etc.

Once it had been fixed etc he went around again a few months later and did it again!!

I wouldn't have had the nerve the 2nd time but serves the other people right in my opinion.

*knock knock*

*neighbour answers door*

"i just moved in, anychance of borrowning a fag and couple of brews"

Could work i guess.

 Sorry, I've watched Son's of Katie Elder far too many times  :oops:

Can I suggest you get your seeds from Carvers Hill Farm at Shalbourne, just tother side of Marlborough.....thoroughly ace place.

  The original Jethro Tull.....did his work into the seed drill whilst living in Shalbourne.

   http://www.wildflowerfarms.com/seeds.htm