Thetownend.com

Arrived home at 4pm yesterday after 3 and a half weeks away from home.

To find the water heater had caught on fire and leaked water all over my living room floor.

Informed landlord, who accused me of deliberately damaging his property and now he wants to evict me. Fucking ace!

At least its temporarily got rid of the horrible shag carpet in our living room. Its now full of fucking huge de-humidifiers, and I'm still living out of a suitcase.

Went to work. Phone fucked. Computer fucked.

At least the suns out and we're staying at friends with a swimming pool.

Ho hum.

Sorry to hear that coxernator. Sounds a bit of a shit return home. As you say, at least the sun is shining. Its been raining here and my cricket match tonight was cancelled after 2 balls. Waste of time that was. I hate English weather!

What part of the USA do you live Coxy ?

I'm guessing Dayton in Ohio.

Sorry, didn't see that.

You're good.

I hate tenants.  How the fuck can 4 prats lock themselves out in one night.  Then they shout and tell me its my fault.  Those twats are getting £50 bills tomorrow, if they dont pay they are evicted.

Sorry to hear about that coxy, shit things but thats down to the landlord no question.

That will teach you for renting. Landlords are cunts.  :D

we are.

 :nod: They're never about when something goes wrong and it's always your fault.

eh?!?! fucking 24/7 blinkpip! Hope your car fails the MOT

You should all buy houses and put that cunt Bushey out of business.

I don't know what you're on about. But I got a bite 8)

you know I don't mean it.

Thought of a career change then????

Its a pile of arse, but I've been sat at home (well my second home) all afternoon... 8)

What are house prices like in the states?

I know you bastards get fuel for about 40p a litre  :x

ha ah , posting when in a horrib mood is not advisable.  Ralph couldnt do it as it involves work which he is scared off!!!

im off to kick that stupid cat of mine

Fuck me, look at the weather in Dayton!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?world=0423

36 c degrees on sunday Coxy!

Thats crap Coxy, last thing you need when you get home!

Depends on the area Ralphy. We have a 4 bed detached Ranch (Bungelow) and it was up for sale for $230,000 three years ago. We live in one of the most desirable neighbourhoods; other areas of Dayton are much higher for an equivalent house, some you can pick up for less than $100k.

Of course, looking for similar property in New York, LA etc attracts a much higher premium.

I'm thinking of permanently moving to coastal North Carolina in a few years. Similar property there is more expensive than Dayton as its by the coast, but its still relatively cheap compared to UK.

Fuel is about $2.89 a gallon now. It peaked at $3.49 just before we came back to UK. Price fluctuates like a bastard here.

But American spec cars are complete dog shit in comparison to UK spec in terms of performance. I'm lucky to get 25mpg out of my 2 litre Focus which does 0-60 mph in about two weeks.

Ace! Thank god for swimming pools!

BTW, this is not a holiday hotspot...

2 litre?! You must get laughed at driving a tiny engined car like that over there!

Most 16 year old's drive 5 litre V8 monsters don't they?

No,no no,non no! Stop turning every thread into fucking top gear !

I must admit, I'm starting to get pissed off with Ralphy changing the direction of every thread he posts in.

For example, the Lewis Hamilton thread that ended up about perfume.

Well i won't fucking post then you grumpy cunt.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

May i suggest that you fuck off to the section that is dedicated to you and leave this to all the others that dont want to talk about cars and what you had for tea last night.I thank you

Oh dear the Cox, that not good.  Don't you wish you stayed at Monkey World longer?

I was making conversation with Coxy about life in America.

Why don't you get fucked.

Isn't the petrol in the states lower octane rating though than europe ? hence its cheap but also  doesn't get you anywhere as quick - like morrison's own brand lager compared to stella

Fine but stop turning every conversation to fucking cars! i couldnt give a fuck if they all drive  V12 supercharged cars that do 6 gallons to the mile.If you are that interested join a car forum .

Sshhh your not allowed to change the subject.

Ralphy..go for a sleep you are obviously tired and when you wake up we will put telly tubbies on for you if you are a good boy

good analogy  : 8)

I was doing some safety work for a large landlord in Swindon, property manager came with me to let me into one property (in County Road!) and found that a tenant in one of the bed sits had gone to work leaving an electric fire on - immediately hit him with a £50 fine!!  The guy came home whilst we were still there and accepted it with almost a smile!

Good management.  The things ive seen people do would amaze you.  What safety work do you do ronnie?

obviously not working for you ash  :wink

I'm fucking pissed off with bloody solicitors!

£175 an hour I'm paying him, hes out the office at the moment and they don't know when he'll be back!!

Off playing golf probably!  :evil:  :x  :x

Nah not me, safety and large dont work with me!

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Who are you using Sippo?

Should've gone for fixed fee conveyancing. I know someone reasonable that does it ;-)

Morrison and Masters recommended by the Mrs grandad..  :x

Fire safety, unfortunately been off work since last August, two ops and two recuperations later I should be back by mid-July!

www.completehome.co.uk

That is all.

what extinguishers and alarms or fire safety regs etc?

Tans can you stop changing every thread into fire safety. It's pissing me off and i'm going to cry.

You want it?  We'll do it, you paying Tans?? :wink:  :wink:

*** BUMP ***

I can't believe what has just happened!

Finally moved back into my house last night, after having had the soaked carpet removed and disposed of, the floor and wall dried out (4 days of several very high-powered fans and de-humidifier did the job) and the air conditioning vents cleaned out.

Around 6pm last night, I walked into my bedroom with a pile of washing and spotted a car parked at the bottom of my drive. I recognised the occupants as my landlord, and shouted to Rachel to expect a knock at the door imminently. To my surprise, I next heard my garage doors open and shut - I reckon they must have checked to see if two cars were in the garage (which they were) to see if we were both home - then they drove off!

I immediately dug out my lease, and it quite clearly says my Landlord has to give me 24 hours notice if he wishes to enter the house. I have heard nothing from him since his rant on Monday when I informed him about the problem. I called the police to check my rights, and basically he was effectively trespassing and infringing our privacy.

He is now coming around at 5pm (30 minutes time), and I'm not looking forward to the conversation. Wish me luck...

Good luck you old wart hog  :mrgreen:

kick him in the throat mate.

Dont let him in.Have the music playing loud and shout loud "fuck its the landlord hide the crack and get rid of the needles"

Stab him

offer him a cup of coffee and the go and do a litle shit in a cup the ffill it up with coffee and give it to him

All helpful replies. I hope he doesn't have a gun, or I'm daisy fodder  :cry:

I lived on williams street once and was due to move out on the wednesday but the cunting landlord decided to have all of my stuff outside on the monday.Anyway he let me in and i shit between the base and the mattress of the bed.

Macca, have you got a thing about shitting in public places?

Mate this is a serious twat of a landlord.  As its US its all different but you as a landlord know the shit you get in the UK for that stuff.

Good luck.

I do see it as a good way of pissing people off yeah . When i was in dorchester i shat in a lad called shaun battles cell on my last day

I had a tenant who put shit all on the walls and 'ashley is a cunt sprayed on the wall' Wally didnt get his deposit back and the work only cost 200 to put right!!!

Good luck Coxy

I did make some coffee. It was Starbucks Decaf = shit, but the cunt didn't want any. Rach and I are stuck with drinking it, so I might go and get some Bailey's to make it palatable.

All the miserable bastard cunting fuckwit found to moan about was the garden - what the fuck does he expect, we've been away from home for 4 weeks now, and frankly its pretty low on the priority list when you've got foliage growing in your lounge carpet - and that the windows need cleaning. Billy fucking do.

Fuck off back to Florida and do one, you arrogant, rude cuntish wanker

And breathe.....

Have you cut the grass yet?  :x

Don't need to, its all burnt  8)