Thetownend.com

The TEF would like to announce that following recent controversy in cheese related subjects the following cheeses are officially endorsed:

Brie
Camembert
Cheddar
Derby
Double Gloucester
Cheshire
Boursin
Paneer
Edam
Parmesan
Stilton
Shropshire Blue
Manchego
Tetilla
Idiazabal
Mozzarella
Red Leicester
Roquefort
Blue Vinny
Wensleydale

The following 'products' are now considered to be beneath the TEF and hence no longer to be classed as cheese.

Babybel
Feta
anything with fruit in it.

Cheese can be added to either list but none can be taken away. Any counter claim by board members that feta is good will be dismissed without reponse.

I don't care how you feel about certain backroom staff at STFC, feta certainly holds it's own in the cheese world. As does other goat's and sheep's milk cheeses.

pure wrongness. no product of goat or sheep shall enter my being (other than meat)

and don't take that the wrong way.

what's the fucking difference between sheep's/goat's/yak's milk  and cow's milk? You're just incorrect with your close mindedness.

i hate the taste of goats milk / cheese - just personal preference, haven't tried sheeps cheese, would probably give it a go but haven't ever seen it on sale.

now yak's cheese i would definately try. and you don't hear that sentence often.

Mmmmmm Goat - the only fresh meat I had in weeks out in Namibia - something very caveman about seeing it ke=illed, skinning it and then eating it a couple of hours later.  Some Mozzarella cheeses are buffalo, and goat, and there is some fantastic goats cheeses made in France.  I'd like to add Dorset Blue Vinny (a nice Stilto-eque blue) to the list and Roquefort too.

how can babybel not be on the list. you cunts  :o

Goat's cheese is wrong, similar to nob cheese (I would imagine ((Not that I imagine eating nob cheese or owt!!)))

I would rather eat goats cheese than nob cheese thanks

What about Red Leicester?

and Feta cheese is lush :).

"There is no cheese" - Bob Holt

I demand Wensleydale with Cranberries is endorsed.

halloumi is a must imo....

because it's made of plastic and it mings. The red casing is fun to squash and mould into balls to throw at people, but this is counteracted by inordinately offensive television commercials which leave it firmly in the 'not a proper cheese' list.

I take it dairylea wouldn't get on the list then!  :(

Oh and kraft slices are proper cheese then?  What a load of rubbish  :D

 Is knob cheese a proper cheese Birdy?

What about laughing cow cheese? Its more of a cheese than bastard kraft slices

kraft slices - although on the border between 'proper cheese' and 'not cheese' can be put on burgers and melt in about 3 seconds - barbeques would not be the same without them.

So would a piece of plastic and taste just the same

Get it off the list!  :D

that sounds like the kraft 'light' slices, they're rubbish.

i can't, ben would rip my eyes from their sockets. And cheeses can only be added to the lists, not taken away.

Like the O****d English Dictionary, defintions can be enhanced and added to but not removed.

or they can be removed. As I said, processed cheese slices are a dirty pleasure, but they ain't really cheese and so have been removed from the list. By magic.

Depends how well matured it is Reg. thethought has put me off my lunch now. Thanks Reg :cry:

I propose Sage Derby is added to the list

mmmm greek salad with feta cheese for my lunch mmmmmmmmm

I mistrust all the extra fruit and herb flavourings a bit. I'll add Derby though.

I never realised yesterdays statement fest would cause so much controversy.....I should have know better.

I'm waiting for someone to suggest adding cheese strings to the list  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I had to chin a shot of some shite that looked like it had bits of feta in it?

There are few nicer things in the world than a nice selection of cheese enjoyed with a few bottle of tasty red wine. For some reason though red wine brie floaters just don't work.

Pfft! I was doing all this cheese stuff months ago. You lot are so out of touch!

  :sorry:  Birdy.....

Gouda, halloumi and monterey jack please....?

And what about the lovely mascarpone?  I have a problem in thinking of this as a cheese because it is used more in sweet stuff, but it is lush in a tomatoey pasta sauce too.....

(and for the record, not having feta on the proper cheese list is crazy....)

Thanks.  I understand your herby reticence, but you've got boursin in there.

that's true. I'll let axs be the cheese list paladin for now. I'm lazy.

Just think of yourself as the Martin Peters of the cheese world.

cheese is important. we should never forget that. and yes FB, nothing, repeat nothing is better in this life than good cheese, quality crackers and fine wine. i'm just about to order my next two cases of wine, i'm going for a limited offer reds selection and a smooth, fruit-filled reds collection. none of that white wine malarkey for me. 24 bottles of quality for under £100 and they'll all be lovely as usual.

24 for a hundred quid? That would cut my weekly booze budget down to £100 a week. I'm in somewhere.

huh? you're in where?

on this crazy deal. Where do I sign up?

www.warehousewines.co.uk

been using them for about 2 years and not one bad bottle yet. once you're a member you get some great deals and no conditions, just order a case when you want.

I am afriad all cheese is bad! not one exception, well maybe the cheese on pizza's!

I'm tell the thruth, the whole thruth and nothing but the thruth!!

are there any mods online - can you ban this kid please - he is clearly deluded.

I used my minimal powers for the force of good.

Sorry that the truth hurts!! :)

anti-cheesist remarks will not be tolerated on this forum - be damned STFC Manc, forever!!

Could you please tell me the TEF official line on "moon made of cheese" theory ?

TEF recommended crackers/biscuits ?

Cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks - is it just plain wrong ?

Crackers:

Jacobs Cream
Carrs Water biscuits (not a biscuit)
Ritz
Cornish wafers

I'm against the hovis 'i'm shaped like a loaf of bread' biscuits.

The moon  isn't made of cheese - fairly certain thats already been in the news.

Don't care what you put on a cocktail stick as long as you don't expect me to eat any pineapple.

 :o  best of the bunch

yeah I like the hovis digestive style ones. To be honest I'd prefer something like a nice semi-melting, room temperature slab of brie on some crusty bread than a flimsy cracker.

You're starting to sound like the M&S advert - "Not just cheese, but TEF cheese on crusty bread". Can you do the Mrs Robinson-style MILF voice as well?

Some penguins have already proved that the moon is made of cheese. 8)

Cheers

Donkey

'All that I know most surely about morality and cheese, I owe to Monty Python'.