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Title: A Joke Post by: Ralphy on Monday, January 22, 2007, 14:38:57 A woman slips naked in her bathroom, does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny.
Her husband tries but can't budge her so calls his mate who says ''I'll go and get a hammer, we can break the tiles and then lift her up.'' The husband says ''Ok i'll lick her ear and play with her tits while your gone.'' ''Why?'' Says his mate. ''I i can get her wet maybe we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are cheaper.'' Title: A Joke Post by: magicroundabout on Monday, January 22, 2007, 14:49:35 >
> Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were Swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called Christian. > > > > The prawns were constantly being harassed & threatened by sharks that > > Inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up With being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any Worries about being eaten." > > > > A large mysterious cod appeared & said, "Your wish is granted" & lo & Behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately Swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. > > > > Time passed (as it invariably does) & Justin found life as a shark boring & lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close To them. > Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause Of his sad plight. > > > > While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again & he thought Perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He Approached the cod & begged to be changed back, & lo & behold, he Found himself turned back into a prawn. > > > > With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends & bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a Prawn cocktail - it's much worse). > > > > Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see His old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. > > > > "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to The enemy & became a shark",came the reply. > > > > Eager to put things right again & end the mutual pain & torture, he set Off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came Flooding back. He banged on the door & shouted, "It's me, Justin, your Old friend, come out & see me again." > > > > Christian replied,"No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the Enemy, & I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." > > > > Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've Changed...." > > > > "I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian". > Title: A Joke Post by: pumbaa on Monday, January 22, 2007, 19:43:02 Quote from: "magicroundabout" > > Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were Swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called Christian. > > > > The prawns were constantly being harassed & threatened by sharks that > > Inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up With being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any Worries about being eaten." > > > > A large mysterious cod appeared & said, "Your wish is granted" & lo & Behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately Swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. > > > > Time passed (as it invariably does) & Justin found life as a shark boring & lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close To them. > Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause Of his sad plight. > > > > While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again & he thought Perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He Approached the cod & begged to be changed back, & lo & behold, he Found himself turned back into a prawn. > > > > With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends & bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a Prawn cocktail - it's much worse). > > > > Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see His old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. > > > > "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to The enemy & became a shark",came the reply. > > > > Eager to put things right again & end the mutual pain & torture, he set Off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came Flooding back. He banged on the door & shouted, "It's me, Justin, your Old friend, come out & see me again." > > > > Christian replied,"No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the Enemy, & I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." > > > > Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've Changed...." > > > > "I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian". > I posted that shit joke ages ago, you cunt :wink: |