Thetownend.com

Well i've given you lazy sods all day to do it and none of you have...so i'm going to start this thread off  :soapy tit wank:  Whats going to happen to this forum when i go away,i really fear for it :wink:

Anyway,the pain begins again tonight on SS1 at midnight.Lets hope we win the toss this time or that it rains!

i wouldn't dare tread on your toes, you're taller than me and your bloke is scary.

i shall be staying up for the morning session i suppose. not feeeling quite as negative as you mind!

  Scary  :soapy tit wank:


I'm not looking forward to it, but i'll be up at 5 am to watch.

Ive charged my batteries for the good ol' Radio, i'll watch it when i get in at 5:45am.

I'm working tonight, so i'll be hovering over the refresh button on the BBC live text updates....

I am also working tonight so i will be listening when i get back from work at 6.30am. Play starts at 12.30am.

giles has to be a concern, the australians have been able to pick his stock wicket-taking ball (the "one that goes straight on") with alarming regularity...

don't all of Gilo's deliveries go straight on?

Ashley Giles
Ashley Giles
Ashley Giles is the King of Spain!

well isn't Monty playing in this one. i should imagine they will bowl in tandem with Gilo stopping the runs and Monty looking to take some wickets. i bet the Aussies have studied Monty on video but having not played against him he might spring them a few surprises

Going to the pub tonight at about 9pm to watch for a bit with a bunch of Aussies !

NMH

i'm back from uni for the weekend so  get to, atlast, crash on the sofa with my duvet and stuff all night. i cant wait for this.

don't know what's going to happen in terms of selection and it has really got people divided. one of my lecturers who wrote for the Guardian as a cheif cricket writer for ten years can't see them picking monty simply because of the workload it would put on fred in terms of pace bowling if anderson was sacrificed. in addition, There really can't be any chance of harmison missing out. i really hope he doesn't.
   at the same time can';t see gilo being dropped because of how he reacted to criticism after the first test last year, and also the fact he's England's most succesful spinner for many years probably since ray illingworth. surely one good year for monty isn't enough to displace him. personally i think it would be a mistake but it would be interesting to see how panesar's remarkably quick deliveries work on what surely will be a spinning pitch.

but don't worry we won't see us bowl tonight because we'll win the toss and bat throughout... 276* for strauss easy.

i hope we see jamie again.

and larwood i think it's fitting that you started this thread as adelaide was perhaps old harold's defining yet notorious moment! wouldn't mind a bit of bodyline on the aussie openers later  8)

more likely to be shoddyline though eh harmi

unchanged team apparently....

fucking hell

oh bum.

we're screwed

fletcher the dirty mugabi bastard has stitched us. times change you moron.

what would you have done daffyd?

The Beeb's text updates are great;

"Lee, as Jack Lemmon once said of Marilyn Monroe, is like jello on springs as he bounces towards the crease, except with far smaller breasts" :D

Strauss gives his wicket away again :-))(

Anyone listening to this through the internet ?

If so, where ?

I can't get the bloody BBC thing to work

NMH

Sorry NMH, having to rely on Auntie's live text

Have been trying to use www.proxify.co.uk to try to fool the Beeb that I am in the UK - To no avail !

NMH

Decent session that, Bell and Colly have hit 50's, we're back to 144-2 at tea

231-3 KP 45* Collingwood 80*. Warne Bowling Negatively.

Ace, i got in to see K.P smash Warne all over the place.  :D

 :soapy tit wank:
I was reading Bodyline:The autopsy last week to get into the Ashes,its an ace book.Yeah how we could do with Larwood and Voce bowling away, oh and Douglas'lets grind them into the dirt' Jardine as captain :bow1:

Good day,what a difference winning the toss makes!Just hope Colly can push on and make his century tomorrow :) Talking about rain tomorrow morning on the radio though,how typical would that be :roll:

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
But a far larger arse :wink:
Hasn't anyone else noticed Lee has got a huge bum?Maybe its just me :oops:

for some reason ive never really looked!

I loved the Bodyline TV programme (even tho it was Aussie produced) - really shook em up didnt we! Ive asked for a Jardine t-shirt off a mate for xmas .. Jardine's Barmy Army it says  :soapy tit wank:

Highlights here - worth watching for a change.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid340480114/bctid340418982

 :soapy tit wank:  Next time look, he's got a huge arse,and a stupid 90's boyband haircut,berk.
Never seen the Bodyline t.v program,suppose to be full of massive mistakes, though still a good watch :) Jardine is one of my sporting hero's,where do those t-shirts come from? I want one 8)

can't remember exactly where now .. it was in the last edition of ALL OUT Cricket magazine tho - ill edit this post if I can find out where tho - Cant help but think id look better on you than me  :grin:

Edit :- Ive a feeling you have to subscribe to get it www.alloutcricket.co.uk

i always thought jardine was a bit of a toff, upper class bastard... thats why he got all the stick and larwood and voce, the culprits got off scot free.

great start for the boys today. we need to carry it on for day 2 now and get 500 plus if we can. well done KP and Collingwood who seem to be in form at the moment

Nah,they all got blamed,none of them got away with it.Tbf Jardine was the Skipper so was in control of the methods used by the England side,he was the man in charge and as such could have stopped it...But he didn't want to :bow1:
The reason why Jardine wanted to use Bodyline or leg theory as it was otherwise known was because of Bradman,who Jardine refered to as 'The little bastard'.He is as much to blame as Larwood and Voce were.Anyway Jardine was a great captain and his hatred for the convicts brings a tear to my eye :bow1:
I would like one of those t-shits but i'm not spending £35 on it :(

larwood probably got the worst deal, hardly ever played for england again after bodyline

but at least he got a pub named after him

Yeah and he ended his life living in Australia,the poor bloke :wink:

well i thought that, by close of play, we should have scored more than 266 on that wicket.

The wicket was slow though (thats what the batsmen were saying anyway), and the boundaries are long at both ends, got a few 3's which would go for 4 on most grounds.

Still got 7 wickets in hand as well

I saw that Bodyline series TV documentary, Douglas Jardine comes across as a complete and utter cunt.  Larwood was just a young lad taking orders from his pompous cunt of a captain.

I bought Bradman's biography when I was in Australia, now he was a true sporting great, the Bowrel Boy, 110% legend!!!

551-6D.

Langer Out for 4 b flintoff c KP. 8/1

12:43am and I'm glued to the live feed !

NMH

Su-fucking-perb! I might try and talk my mate into staying up and watching tonight

Larwood wasn't that much of an innocent,Jan! He'd been bowling bodyline type stuff for his county before he did it for England.
They all take some blame,but Jardine as skipper should bare the brunt of it,he could have stopped it.

Anyway back to today,one word MEGA :D How nice it is to see Warne with a century to his name :) Just got to keep on tomorrow,put them under some pressure.

Did sky cut to the England fans for that? It was off the head. Best celebration for me since Shrewsbury away.

Lot of pissed up and pissed off Aussies today. Well funny. Theyre so thick they cant get the better of us when they are winning, let alone when England are turning it on.

Yeah they did,lots of jumping around and some unhomosexual hugs going on by the looks of it :wink:

this gets better and better...

all-nighter tonight methinks.

are you now claiming to be english  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  your all over the place  :mrgreen:

english/irish, just as i've always been...you reading scum

i'm working till 4, so i'll catch the aussie batting collapse.

Let's hope so.  8)

 Jardine was a top man .....old school who knew how to deal with uppity colonials......unfortunately the liberals in the foreign office at the time, and the now uber liberal media elites, feel we have to be apologetic for such attitudes....the convicts, make  a big deal out of playing hard then whinge, when they don't like it.

What made me laugh was that both Mcgrath and Warne went for a combined 274 runs in 83 overs for 1 wicket.

That silly fucker Giles has just dropped Ponting.  :evil:

can we win this? i cant help thinking it's heading for a draw...

No we needed more wickets. This'll be a draw.

A few early wickets in the morning session and you never know, we could sneak a win.

this one is a dead heat and it'll fade out into a draw. good to see us restore some confidence for the next test though

i dont know fuckall about cricket

are we doing well?

Much improved, but we're probably not going to win this test, batsmans paradise

thanks village.keep me updated then please

the only hope we have is to take the 5 remaining Aussie wickets in the morning session and hopefully see KP and Freddie get some quick runs in 2 sessions to leave the Aussies with a target of about 350ish and then hope the pitch deteriorates and we take the 10 wickets on the last day. its a long shot and it probably won't happen. one things for sure though, it would take a major collapse from our batsmen to give the Aussies any sort of sniff whatsoever

"1646: The Barmy Army have cranked it up a notch. Who wrote that chant they sing? You know, the one that goes 'Barmy Army, Barmy Army?' Was it Cole Porter? Gilo goes up for lbw - umpire Koertzen looks at him as if he's just found him in bed with his daughter. 513-9"

 :D

not bad, not bad. nice way to kick off the day, good ol' hoggy.

oh, and well done to bell :D

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/american_pie_2/chris_owen/pie2.jpg

Hoggy is ace 8)

I imagine its going to be a draw.Still a much improved performance,showing the convicts we can step up when its needed[and when we win the toss].

Someone's been listening to David Lloyd.  :mrgreen:

what time does the evening session start?

12:30am?

no that'd be the morning session.

i worked it out myself, 5:30

wrong

don't tease me and tell me dammit.

who me?

well well well what a night, so the convicts need 168 to win from 36 overs, next 2 and a bit hours will define the series and your all asleep. :D

Im not...But I wish I was !  :cry:

NMH

I echo those sentiments.  :(

33-2

Get the fuck off the field Hayden you Cunt!  :evil:

i wish i was asleep, got up for this :(

this is woeful.

I'm thinking of gong back to sleep, but I thing I'd have nightmares... :(

Oh for Gods sake :rain:  :groan1:  :doh:
What a shower of absolute shite!
Have to hold your hands up to the convicts i suppose,we obviously thought it was going to be a draw but they kept on going.The Ashes are gone now,can't see us coming back from two nil down,especially not after this game,talk about fuck up! :cry:

depressing isnt it! :surrender:  :emo:

when i went to sleep only strauss had fucked himself again.

ummm did we go into ODI mentality and decide the wooden things in our hands were not for cricket but for a much more sinister and filthy purpose?

Australia played well but we were fucking awful.  :evil:

Bye Bye Ashes!  :shake:

five words

adams,yardy,kirtley,lewry,nash.

a winning mentality.

Woke up, radio 4 on, full of optimisim, 2 seconds in :suicide:

Disaster is the only word that comes close.

"No team in history has lost after declaring on a higher total than England's 551-6 batting first in a Test."

 :cry:

So. Do you think all the pundits that have banged on over the last few days that Monty's absence from the side was irrelevant, "as the best spinner in the world couldn't take wickets on this pitch", will come back on the radio and admit they were completely fucking wrong.

Last day - 4 for 49, of 32 overs, including 12 maidens.

Ooh a spinner who can turn the ball on a dry final day pitch, who would have thought that would be effective.................

Idiots!

The fact is they had Warne and we had Giles!  :?

Ashley Giles is the King of Spain.

well im sure Panesar would have done better on this pitch! hell even KP was spinning the ball more than Giles on day 4! and then he dropped Ponting! get rid of him now. i don't care if he can bat. we need someone who can actually bowl! as for the performance on the whole. what a complete and utter disgrace! on day 3 we are looking for a win. on day 4 a draw is the only likely outcome. come day 5 we fucking lose! shocking! it really is

2-0 down now and the aussies have played really well. will they now become complacent thinking that it's all over? if we can get our act in order and win the next test match then we're right back in it. they have to beat us to take it off us.

5-0 white wash me thinks  :cry:

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: are you kidding? we don't stand a chance. its gone. finished. we have to wait another 2 years to win them back. and we gifted then the win today!

whinging pom  :wink:

harmison's still not firing on all cylinders as it were, freddie's carrying a knock, anderson is sporadic. hoggy did well on a harsh wicket.

giles was a waste of time, monty should have played. will they leave him out for perth? what's the pitch like there now, didn't it used to be a seamers haven or something?

there's nothing quite like an english batting collapse. i nearly choked when i woke up this morning and the aussies were batting.

i woke up saw your text at 6.53am saying "i can't believe we're about to fucking lose this match"

it set the tone for the day