Thetownend.com

Got done in Portsmouth last night for a driving offence - not like it wasn't coming.  Am fuming at myself.  I don't really want to post it on here, but I need some advice plus it means I won't be around the CG for quite some time.

Would you personally tell your folks, or concoct a lie and tell them it was for excessive speed?  Were I to do 105mph on a motorway, would that get me a year ban?  If I'm convicted in Portsmouth will I have to do my community service there?  Will rehab be there.

I know I'm a cunt - but I need these questions answering and don't really want to tell anyone whose face I can see.

100+ on a motorway is sometimes a straight ban i believe.

who did you kill?

my mate got 21 days for 105 average over 2 miles on the m4.

drink driving?

tell them you were over the limit from the night before mate

and surely this should be been a dickhead 23 by now

Hmm, I guess you havent said what is was....but I think you should tell your parents the truth, so they can kick your fucking head in like they should have done years ago  :|

go for the it was from the night before excuse. Or just outright lie. No point getting more hassle if you can get out of it.

I was too far over the limit to say night before....   I need an offence that'll get me a lengthier ban.  If I tell me folks I don't think I'll have a home to go back to at Christmas.

ran someone over? dangerous driving

Probably best to be honest. my experience is they normally find out the truth in the end anyway...

can i have your car if your not going to need it?

if its drink driving its your own fault....stand up be a man and take responsibility for your actions

Ooops.

100+ - 12 month ban
DD - 12/18 month ban (min)

Just be honest and tell your parents the truth.

stupid, just fucking stupid. i have no sympaphy for you at all, you deserve what you get as do all drink drivers.

Look on it as a wake-up call and be glad you didn't injure/kill anyone

you can always train it about. trains are better than cars anyway.

As Sussex says you'll be looking at more like an 18 month ban. If you were too far over the limit you may get much longer.

I don't know how long you've had your licence but don't you have to resit your test too?

Don't do such fucking stuipid things in the first place would be my advice. Grow up and stop showing off.  Learn from this before you hurt yourself or someone else.

Fuck off am I showing off I desperately need some advice.  If I wanted a ban for three years I'd do something worthwhile like 200mph down the M25 backwards...

What happens when you are pulled for 100+?

Replying to my text would be a start.

You dont need advice, just a brain.  Plead guilty and take your punishment.

If you like, plead extenuating circumstances - ie being a complete knob.

You did it - just accept it and start saving now for your next insurance premium.

you shouldn't be on the road and i hope you get banned for years.too many tossers like you on the roads.

You have a PM Sussex....

I am pleading guilty.  I'm not a boy-racer that drives around at 50mph in 2nd gear, but I've been a cunt.  I'll have the book thrown at me because of the grouping I belong to.  However, if I tell my parents, I will undoubtedly be kicked out plus my mum would be absolutely gutted.

I think peeps are being a bit harsh on Walrus. No-one knows the background and what has happened apart from he got caught speeding....

Behave - look at his posts over time and the evidence is compelling. He is an immature show-off who loves self-publicising.  Why else would he ask a football forum for advice.

Twonk.

Didn't mean to sound a cunt walrus, but you should be more careful.

Cunt  :wink:  :mrgreen:

Pot, kettle, mullet  :?  :wink:

I might be having it off Thurs.... :mrgreen:

The mullet that is... :o

Swindon's very own Michael Pook got two years for drink driving.

http://www.thetownend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15732

 :?

Walrus mate, when will you fucking wake up and realise your not invincible?

I'm not having a go, just trying to make you see things straight.

I don't wanna see you dead or end up in prison.

Drink wrecks lifes.

Its mad I've no idea what happened, recently when I've drunk I become a different person.  Last night I was out of control, to be honest, what the police caught me for was not the worst of my crimes last night.  I was a complete cunt, but it's scared the fuck out of me.

I've asked on a football forum as I'm not telling people I actually know, or they'll think I'm a cunt too.  I'll be having a few weeks off the sauce to be fair....

Walrus. This might sound a little over the top, but if all the shit you get in is down to drink (or most of it) and it does sound like this could be the case, maybe you should consider stopping drinking alltogether.

You shouldn't be drinking if you go out of control.

I learnt the hard way like you.

When i was 19 i got pissed as fuck up the local, had an argument with a mate over a girl and cos of the drink, was out of control and angry.

I walked home, decided to take my anger out on 4 cars down my road. Neighbour saw me doing it and rang the police.

Police arrived to find me passed out in a bush with a Citroen CV headlamp and a Mondeo arial.

I got £540 in fines and court costs.

so it is speeding or drink driving or both...

Either way, if you want to put your own life at risk then fair enough thats your decision, but by acting like this you are putting countless innocent people at risk as well.

If you've got a brain, use it before you act like a twat again and using drink as an excuse is a cop out, if you drink so much that it affect you that badly, then again this is your own fault...no one makes you drink

Whilst the stupid tales of Walrus can at times, be a funny read the minute you start putting other people in danger is the minute its not fun anymore.

Dont drop the soap..!

:nod:

if you're going to do stupid things, don't fucking drink

ah, yes but he is a uni student so he HAS to drink stupid amounts of alcohol every night in order to be "cool"

Thats how it works, right?

It doesn't sound like that at all DV

I think you should tell your parents though, lying will make it worse.

Can't believe they'd throw you out though.

fuck me youre a funny cunt

Sorry Ralphus I know I shouldn't laugh but............. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  where was the arial, that is what I want to know  :wink:

It is quite funny i must admit!

I still have the huge newspaper cutting from the Banbury Guardian. Don't think i should post it on here though!

   Couldn't the bird get you out of her bush?

    Are you a car part fetishist Ralphy?

     Is David Cronenberg's Crash yoiur favourite film?

I was just very angry Reginald!

I don't think trying to cover this up from your family is going to work walrus.

Don't forget as well as any ban you receive you are likely to get quite a large fine (£5000 is the maximum for driving with excess alcohol), I don't want to frighten you but you could also be sentenced to a maximum of 6 months in prison.

You've been daft enough to get yourself into this mess, time to accept the consequences.

Unless there are other aggravating circumstances (like causing a crash, injuring someone, steering with your feet for a giggle) or you've got previous, you're highly unlikely to get jail time or anywhere near maximum fine. 12-18 month ban is pretty much mandatory though. Best advice for the court is plead guilty, show remorse and hope they're in a good mood - don't try and make excuses, it'll just piss them off.

And you've got to tell your folks - sure they'll be pissed off, but they'll be a lot more pissed off if you lie and they find out from someone else (and they always do). Push comes to shove, they're your mum and dad and they love you - that goes a long way when it comes to forgiving a lot of things, but they'll be doubly upset/hurt if you don't come clean from the outset. Erm, I'd have a quiet Xmas tho if I were you - coming in slaughtered at 3 am and chucking all over the stairs the night after you tell them isn't going to go down well.

Walrus, how far over were you?

A work collegue got done for drink driving a 2nd time last year. He had 240 mg in his blood. Legal limit is 30 i think.

He got a 3 year ban and 80 hours community service.

Your just get 18 months i reckon. Act remorseful (sp) and say in court you were an idiot. They will possibly lower the ban.

I had quite a close mate kill himself in a crash about a year or so back.  You always hear stories about stuff like that, but it really puts it into perspective when it happens to someone you know.  I saw 2 overturned car crashes on the motorway to Swindon yesterday that looked quite serious, and what looked like a Swindon fan knocked over by a car going through town.  Hearing you saying that you're driving like an idiot really annoys me.  I just hope you'll learn a lesson from this!

You need to tell your folks. A drink drive ban will end up in the local paper, even if it is only 1 column inch, all convictions like that do. You don't want them finding out that way do you?

Like everyone else has said, all you can do is turn up at court, pray the judge is in a lenient mood, be polite, remorseful and genuine, and you may get away with a lenient sentence.

I think your main problem is that you listen to Nickelback and the Backstreet Boys. Perhaps if you stop listening to this kind of hardcore shit, it will help control your anger issues?

Why the fuck are you asking about this on a football forum rather than seeking legal advice?

I'd say a lengthy ban is almost certainly what you'll get, but it is worth talking to somebody who knows the system to see what you need to do in order to make this a certainty (which may be nothing other than plead guilty...).

Walrus know ive only met you a couple of times, but fuck me what a fucking idiot youve been.

Drink driving is fucking stupid, whats more stupid is that you actually think your be ok.  Your a young driver and they will make an example of you and rightly so.

Rant over

Oh Christian Roberts, he used to be like Walrus but he's alright now!!

Take note dude, sort yourself out before you do something that you'll regret for the rest of your life.

I hope you get the appropriate  punishment that might make you realise that you can't continue like this.

Also sort your hair out before the court case as if the worst does happen those frustrated man animals inside will love a bit of that in the showers!

I'm not going to get all moralistic about the speeding part, because I do and so do 90% of people on here i predict.

But there is no excuse for drink driving. Its the height of irresposibility and is exceptionally dangerous to both other people and yourself. you twat.

Two bits of (hopefully useful) advice:

1) Speak to a lawyer - you may not need one in court, but you certainly need to get some proper advice (ie not from an internet football forum!)

2) Given you'll almost certainly get a ban, start trying to sell the car now or at least a month before the court date

I've told my folks and a brief.  Any of you pretencious cunts taking the moral highground don't think I'm not paying enough for a moment of stupidity.  5 minutes in the car, for 3/4 yrs punishment.  I'll accept the punishment as I was an idiot.

I'm told it's likely to be at least a 12month ban + community service - probably a couple of hundred hours.  The offence took place in Portsmouth - does that mean the community service would be there?  If that's the case it's fucking rediculous.  Apparently I have to plead to get the law to allow me to schedule it round my studies.  How exactly is does disrupting my studies help me avoid being a cunt again?

I was 97mg / 100 ml of blood.  Another pint could have meant prison.

My sister's taking over my car - how much for a black Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 16v SXi with air con?  '53 reg, 38,000 miles.

You'd get a fair bit for a car that vintage

Car is worth about £3800 - £4000

I wouldn't call anyone on here a cunt, you need friends at the moment matey.

Surely, they can't expect you to get to Portsmouth to do it?!

You should get a choice of what Community Service you want to do though. I chose to take old people shopping 8)

fuck off i bet he couldnt give a bollocks if you're his mate or not.

he obviously knows he's in the wrong and he doesnt need some prick like you telling him how wrong he is.

unlucky walrus bud, not the end of the world though couldve been worse.

Old people shopping :|  What else is there?!  I'm not very good with old people I get embarrassed easily.

As Dex says, I don't need other people telling me I'm in the wrong - its bad enough having to tell my parents.  Their reaction just tore me up.

I think it's more disgusting that the 'your be' disease is catching. Talk English if you're going to have a go at someone, or your be sorry.  :o

Oh and Walrus...have you asked anyone about going to AA or something like that? May be a bit shit but could it help you have less community service and maybe not make something like this happen again?

Your be* mostly offered manual work, which I don't do! Painting/decorating/cleaning up council owned places. General stuff that benfits the local community.

Mine wasn't for DD though.

*for SiPi  :P

Did you do a George Michael Sussex?

Hang on a minute you don't post something like Walrus did and not expect a few reactions?

I don't think anyone has been out of order in this thread, it's all been pretty tame stuff really.

No.

Barrymore?

No.

No.

if you actually read his first post you'd see he says "i know i'm a cunt but i need these questions answered"
not "look at me i've done something stupid please everyone get on your high horses and tell me, someone you dont actually know, how much of a twat i am"
you see?


and that your be thing is doing my head in too. makes you sound like the biggest tard going

Ralphy does it a lot.

You slept with your Dad?

No. I see what you did there.

dogging?

I do it???  i never noticed.

I still think you can't post this kind of thing without getting a few reactions.  That's all.

Cunts. You know what, and I'm not dragging it all up again.

You tuck your jumper into your high-waistbanded trousers? Was it the fashion police that got you?

I've actually been giving Walrus advice dex so fuck off.

you said he needs mates? how is that advice? why does he need to be mates with you? or anyone on here when everyone clambers on their soapbox you mean?
oh and another thing



suck my balls.

Read my other posts you twat.

i demand everyone reads my posts

you spazmo's

 8)

Sussex, what do i do alot?

'Your be' instead of 'You'll be', makes you sound like a backward, inbred retard. In the nicest possible way.

If you dont want people telling you that you are a brainless cunt, keep it to yourself - dont post it on an open forum.

is there a part 3 or did I dream it?

Probably a premonition.

i read this post, i then laughed at your total stupidity.


i was then quite relieved you didnt decide to lead the police on a merry drunken chase with your L337 DR1V1N6 5K1LL5 you learnt from twating honda civics into fences whilst parking then at heathrow/gatwick... :-))(


grow up mate.

ralphy is a wanker.

Yeah. Right. Unlucky.

Not like it's your own fault or anything is it?

walrus i tried to give you advice but it was shit.

i think you are a selfish cunt we was going to ask you to drive the 3rd minibus to Franchise.

They wont make you do community service in pompey they will let you do it in your local community although with your driving skills i doubt they will let you push old people about in wheel chairs which is fair enough imo

good luck and learn your lesson

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Offer to go on a driver improvement course / Driver awareness or similar. It can reduce any penalties.

Either way though you be fucked and you probably realise you should be really...

Think some of you are being a bit harsh on poor walrus. I bet most have you have droven over the limit the next morning after a heavy night.

Driven over the limit the next morning yes.

Got in my car pissed no.

If you look back, i actually gave him some advice.

i think the important thing here is that walrus learns his lesson.he has come on here a few times now telling tales of his dangerous and destructive driving.quite rightly he will now go before a court.he should think himself lucky he aint killed anybody as he would be doing a long stretch inside.

walrus,apart from being a pain in the arse, community service is ok.(been there and done it)
i suggest you tell the court you have a drink problem and want help(whether you do or not)as it may have an effect and reduce the punishment if they feel sorry for you.act remorsefull and dress smartly

And don't turn up with lines shaved out of your eyebrows, or with a highlighted mullett

Thanks for the help guys, and to anyone who's PM'd me.  Had to tell my lecturer this morning for a character reference - it's a fucking embarrassment but I guess I should have thought of that before I started my motor.  Court next Wednesday...  Terrified.  I don't think I'm a cunt, just someone who has a tendency to regularly do cuntish things.

If I don't post on here for a while it's because I lared off the judge and got jailed for contempt of court.   :|

(kidding)

I think the judge will be more leniant if you turn up having drunk 8 cans of stella. Guareteed to work

On another note I think it's a good thing I never learnt to drive. I'd have probably got tanked up and ran over a lollypop lady or something.

And if you put lollypop lady into wikipedia one of the search results is "list of main stream films with unsimulated sex" I'm thinking the bitch I would have ran over deserved it.

I don't know you from Adam, but fair play it looks like you're taking responsibility for you very stupid actions, but I don't think you need anyone to tell you that what you did wasn't the cleverest thing in the world.  Just hope our great justice system gives you a fair trial.

Being polite, deferential and apologetic worked for me and "just" saved me being banned for speeding.

It's a shit thing to have to go through Walrus but good luck

best of luck 'rus. i know you're not a complete cunt, just a very very stupid one.

learn from your mistakes!

get a taxi if you chose to do as ben suggests

cant do that till youre 21 these days, innit?

have a good holiday walrus

And then apologise for denting the judges car when you parked, just say you probably had a few too many this morning. They will be impressed by you knowing your limits.

I can't see how this is any different morally. In fact it could be worse because when you're drunk your common sense tends to go.

That's not saying that drinking 8 pints then going for a drive is ok, or it is the same as driving over the limit the next day, but the point about the limits is that when you reach them they impair your judgement.