Thetownend.com

Reading the thread about the possibility of the City game being postponed due to international call ups made me think "Oooooh, I really really hate it when that happens!!!"

So here is a list of things I REALLY hate about the beautiful game

1) Games being called off due to international call ups

2) Half time - It goes on forever, 10 minutes was bad enough but since they increased it to 15, it's unbearable!

3) Poncy Premiership managers like Wenger who go on about how we should have a mid-winter break.  Mid-winter break?????? Half time's too long for me, I would abolish that if I could, don't talk to me about mid bleedin' winter breaks!!!!!

4) Being told by some faceless suit in Zurich that the man in black who runs up and down the line with a flag is no longer a linesman, the perfectly good title he has been using for the last 100 years. Oh no, he is an assistant referee!  And the commentators, rather than ignoring this nonsense, go along with it! i.e. "That was a strange decision my the linesman, or, should I say, ahem, ASSISTANT REFEREE"

5) Being told: "Ooooooh, you can't stand in the Town end, it's for your own safety"

6) Being told: "Ooooooh, you can't go on the pitch after the last game of the season, it's for your own safety"

Points 5 and 6 are BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7) Jens Lehmann

8. Robbie Savage

9) England frendlies - They can play them behind closed doors for all I care.

10) Stupid, rehearsed goal celebrations.  When Klinsmann did his 'dive' when he scored for Spurs it was absolute quality but it should have ended there.

11) Settling down in your seat and discovering you have a party of junior school kids right behind you.

12) The 'Maxpax' type tea you always get served.

Thankyou.

THE END.

you should go on grumpy old men  :D

but I agree with some of your points, well most.

My major one is why does Roy Keane exist?

Grumpy old men are cool!

Surely there's nothing on there you don't agree with???

conceding late goals is the worst thing in the world

I don't disagree with any of them actually, just that some are more true than others.  

Especially moving the City game, they'll move it to a netball night guaranteed  :evil:

13. People who turn up, pay their money and do nothing other than moan, whinge and criticize

14. being searched on the way into the ground

15. Cock faced stewards asking to see my ticket to allow me to walk past the centre of the TE. I'VE GOT A FUCKING SEASON TICKET YOU COCK FACED COCK SUCKING COCK FACE

16. Players who waste thier talent. Stan collymore being a fine example. I'd give anything to have 1/2 of the talent that bloke had, and he just pissed it away

17. Players not trying. To a certian extent I can accept a player being shite, as long as he is giving 100%. What I cant stand is players mincing around as if they own the place, bottling tackles and making fairly like touches, whilst fuckers like me pay them to do it. (Are you listening Brian?)

Commentators are my No1 pet hate

About 5 years after the back pass rule came the majority used to say "and remember the goalkeeper can't pick it up now".  We fucking know, dickhead.

The way they pretend goal difference, or the away goal rule, is sooo compliacted.  A typical sentence is "I'll leave you to do the maths Ron" fuck off prick, it's maths that a five year old could understand.

They seem unable to say, the linesman/referee got it wrong there.  Instead it's, "that was a tight one".  No it wasn't, they got it fucking wrong!!

No one likes penalties, some will say.  Yes they do,  it's probably the most nerve racking, tense, exciting 5 minutes that football has to offer.  The neutrals love 'em.

- Kieran Dyer by name Dyer by nature.
- The Razor's Edge Sunday newspaper column.  
- Prawn Sandwich fans.
- Part time England supporters (with a passion)
- Expense

All very good points. espically the The Town End ones.

Following on from Janaage's media based points:

Old pros / pundits refusing to say "that was crap, he missed from 2 yards. Thats the worst miss i've ever seen"

Instead they say "he'll be dissapointed with that" or "he'll feel he could have done better there"

Pisses me off that they wont tell it like it is through fear of annoying of their old mates

They like to say, "Ooooh, it's time to get the slide rules out now!"
Does anyone even know what a slide rule is or how you actually use one????

You certainly don't need one to work out goal difference :evil:

Sky Sports News - Breaking News, then they scroll the Arsenal team to play Palace.  That's not Breaking News, that's what usually happens two hours before a game.  That should be an update from Highbury not breaking news.

I hate it when they go on about 'Premiership Records' thereby totally desregarding everything that happened before 1992 like it never happened and, anyway, Sky didn't show it so its not worth talking about.

oooh I have 2 more big ones you just reminded me.

I hate the premiershit

and people that don't support their local team, that support a premiershit team and never go to games.

people that say swindon are shit when they have never watched a minutes football in their life

I think I would be pissed off if I was a Liverpool fan.  After what they acheived in the 70's and 80's, it's never really mentioned by Sky at all.  It's always Utd have won a record number of Premierships.  I suppose it's lucky I can't stand the scouse thieving pikeys.

I don't like the injury time boards too.  Much better when you weren't sure how long there was to go.  Also why's the first half injury time always 1 or 2 minutes, even when there's a long injury break?  And yet the second half injury break is normally well over 2 mins?

Premiershit - I saw what you did there :wink:

About 10 years ago, when Blackburn won the Premiership, Blackburn fans in the south of England started coming out of the woodwork and I thought "Fuck off and die" and they must have done just that, cos they're not around any more!

And there's always 7 minutes of it when we're winning!

Fans of clubs in the top half of the premiership that compain about anything going. The've no idea how lucky they are.

They need to get real and try supporting a club like ours that cant afford to pay the players 100% of their wages.

STFC birds one is one of the most irratating. I fucking hate people from Swindon who ask who you support in a conversation about football.

You reply "Swindon" and they laugh at you. They've never been to see a STFC game, and sit on thier fat arses claiming to support Man U / Arsenal / Liverpool / and more then ever now Chelsea.

Of course they've never been to see they're teams play and they tend to get qiuite aggitated when questioned about it. The fact that I know more than them about the clubs they "support" than them is laughable.

Don't let me get on the wrong side of you OST.

Leeds in the Champions league brought a few out of the woodwork a few years back.   As has Hull's recent resurgence brought about 6,000 lifelong fans out of the slums.

Pah

i agree with all the points above, especially the ones about part time fans. i hate it when the world cup or euro champs are on but you cant get in a pub to watch it coz there are a load of twats in there who dont give a fuck about football but are just there because its the cool thing to be seen doing.

these are the same fans who all say swindon are shit & pretend to support arsenal or man utd but have never actually watched them play. they all think sky invented the game

one of my 'mates' says he 'supports' arsenal & takes the piss coz the rest of us go & watch town, but he can only name about 3 of their players! true gooner there!

see it is so fucking annoying, My mate supports aresnal fair play he knows all about them but he hasn't seen them play for the last 2 seasons,  he can't afford it, but he won't come with me either coz we are 'shit' he would rather sit at home and watch soccer saturday, what sort of a football fan is that?!! I would rather go and watch my village team play than sit in doors!!

Exactly the same with my mates, they'd prefer to go up the pub and watch the results come in and yet they think they're amazing football fans, just because they go up the pub all day Sunday and watch Sky.

I think we should burn them, all of them

- Arsene Wengers blind spot on Pires' diving or Cole's 2 footed lunges. "I didn't see it." WE ALL FUCKING SAW IT YOU COCK.

- Leon Shight

Genuine football fans know who they are and recognize others who are of the same ilk.  It does not matter whether your team is Man United, Swindon, Rochdale or Bedlington Terriers.  A GENUINE Man Utd fan will respect a GENUINE Bedlington Terriers fan.  They will know what being a football fan is about and will not patronise them at all.

Frankly, I think we should feel sorry for the likes of Darren in Exeter who has followed United since the treble season of 1999 and wonders where the next trophy is coming from or Wayne in Milton Keynes who followed Chelsea through the dark days of Claudio Ranieri and Gianlucca Vialli.

STFC, no matter how much I slag it off (and I'm not going to stop slagging it any time soon :wink:) this is MY club.  It is part of me.  There is nothing I can do to change that (even if I wanted to, and I don't).  Those jerks we are talking about will NEVER have that.  They are missing out big time.

I'll be at Plainmoor on Saturday and there is nowhere else I would rather be.

People telling me that I'm not a true fan because I slate a certain player/manager. Fuck off!

people telling me I'm not a true fan beacuase I dont travel to Saaaaffend for a LDV game

People tell me I'm not a real fan cos I support Scotland.

In the southstand there used to be a red tap type thing at the tea kiosk,it looked like tomatoe sauce but was in fact hot water for the tea.I and one other person I know have squeezed hot water on to our hotdogs by accident :?
This doesnt really go in here does it.

That would really fit into the 'Slapstick moments' forum which Dazzzzza is currently working on :wink:

And that IS a slapstick moment - Pure Stan Laurel!

Anyone even know what a slide rule is or how you actually use one?

  http://www.tcf.ua.edu/AZ/SlideRule.jpg

  Hard to believe kids, but there was a time before calculators when all scientific calculations were done either with tables or slide rules.

 As a student of science it was my misfortune to have to master the the thing, and it wasn't easy......although with care and practice quite complex maths could be achieved.

Reg have you been at your lads crack pipe again?

But have you ever needed one to work out goal difference in a group of four teams, or if Arsenal lost 2-1 away and they're 1-0 up what happens if the scores stay the same???

PRECISELY my point Jan the Jock - HOW do you work out goal difference and stuff using THAT???????

Je ne sais pas mon ami.  I tend to do simple arithmatic using my brain.

Well in the day of the slide rule....you in fact had goal average for which you did need a slide rule to work out.

  So taking a random exampe our goal average for 70/71 was 1.1960784.

John Motson's lisp. I reckon he needs some fixodent, because it's got so much worse in the last few years.

"oooh milan baroshhhhhhhh almost scored there"

thats because the accent above the S in baros means it is pronounced barosch  :P

yeh even i say it like "barosh" but not "baroshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" like motson. another example is  "the ashishtant referee raished hish flag, and the whishle blew, indicating jamesh beattie wash offshide"

During the 2002 World Cup the Turkish player Hassan Sass became at some stage, thanks mainly to Motty, Hashan Shash.

Motty's a bit of a twat really.

Yes!

I remember now.  I looked at this earlier today and that contraption looked vaguely familiar.  

I now recall that we briefly used them back in school when I must have been 8/9 we had an old school maths teacher who use to rule his class with a metre rule.

I couldn't for the life of me remember how it worked now.

For some reason I always excelled in classes taught by teachers from the old school.

oh i'm glad i'm not the only one!

Barry Davies 1994 World Cup.  Would pronounced every player normally expect Bebeto and Romario, when he'd do some kinda of Italian accent, now he was a crap commentator.

I am convinced to this day that during a game in the 2002 World Cup (can't remember which one now), John Motson suddenly shouted out 'Paki Shop' and carried on commentating.

I reckon he did it for a bet, I mean it's such a wierd thing to come out with that everyone probably thought they were hearing things and kept it quiet so as not to make themselves sound stupid by saying "Did he just say Paki Shop????"

Wierd - I'm sure I heard it. :shock: