Thetownend.com

Why the hell is it that when applying for a mortgage I feel like the naughty child having his life inspected by Father Christmas for dirty stains.

Applied today and sat there as the rather fit Irish advisor scoured my bank statements like a woman scorned looking for lipstick on a husband’s collar.  “I see you like a bet on the horses.” She sneered as if I’d just blown my wad on her desk.  

I then tried to explain it as a little bit of online poker and I make a profit really but the damage was done I was instantly labelled as the man who spends just £20 a week on food and ten times that amount on class A’s and gambling.

Jesus, the only positive thing was my credit rating is now cleaner than my bottom, which after last time is a very big plus.  Fucking Orange.   :evil:

On top of awaiting the decision from my mortgage tart if another charlie sniffs arout the development before Monday afternoon and mortgage D-day I’ll have to crack of a non-refundable 1k to hold it for a further 28days and risk losing the lot if the mortage falls on it's arse.

I blame Ben Wah Balls where is he?

I've just got a mortgage on a 2 bedroom apartment, they go through your whole life to see if you can afford it.

I don't see the point in mortgages. You borrow say £50k but end up paying back about £150k, thats just a rip off. How can people justify paying £100k to borrow £50k, it doesn't make sense.

Dazza chuck me a pm if your stuck, just tied in with a very personal company that are doing great deals on mortgages.  Launching new company on Jan 1st with them so they are out to impress, if you want their details shout.

Saying that I think Red Macca is a mortgage advisor.

Sam - the reason it costs so much is your borrowing the money over 25 years, if you wre borring it over a year obvuiously you wouldnt have to pay much back.

Think my paddy mate has it sorted but cheers for the offer Bushey!

Should hopefully be a little goldmine if I can get my paws on it, just have to wait until Monday for the decision.

Completion set 2008 by which time the value is predicted to have rocketed.

I do realise that and obviously the best thing to do is borrow over the shortest term possible and switch around every few years.

Personally, I think the system is unfair. If you've got £250k to buy a house outright then your ok, but if you've got to get a mortgage then you end up paying three times as much as the value of the house.

definately is a goldmine my man! most properties rise by 20% after completion in teh first year.

You shoudl also look into buy to let, give me a shout......

If it falls out of bed Dazza PM me

I got a solid contact..................... sorted me out big style

Sam, without mortgages most of us wouldn't have a house!

I had a mortgage for 15 years, now i dont and its ace :beers:

I've got a mortgage for the next 40 years  :(

If someone gave me a mortgage then they'd be a fucking idiot...

Next on mortgages the true story, a man who got a mortgage and didn't realise he had to pay it back. Exciting stuff!!!! Cunting poo holes, I've missed the afternoon edition of judge judy. I think I may be rambling again.

where have you moved too then?? on your own???

40?   :shock:

How old were you when you got that?

I've got 29 to go myself and I thought that was bad but at least I can start to pay it off without penalties in a  couple of years.

New housing development in Chipping Norton on the old Parker Knoll furniture site.

A 675 sq foot 2 bedroom apartment. £96,000.

It's a low cost housing scheme. When i come to sell it, i have to sell it at 70% of the market value.

I bought it for £96,000 so it's currently worth about £120,000.

I had one for a year now I don't  :beers:

How do you pay your rent birdy?  :D

How do you think Ralphy  :wink:

well due to my family's dodgy health history I had to disclose my medical records to northen rock before they would give me a fucking mortgae so I dread to think what stupid northen tart has read about me, the warts, the aids the mental health problems various addication problems, middle of nose falling to name just a few! fuck them all next time I'm robbing a bank!

Good luck mate, Northern Rock are fucking rubbish, had nothing but problems with them.  :evil:

proof you were a bad influence on me back in the day dill!

I'm 27 and have only had my mortgage for 2 months. Im hoping to get a pay rise before long so will change repayment terms then. it's the only way i could afford the mortgage though.

don't start abot back in the day or I'll have to start reminding you about those bloddy teachers, you cunt!

Does that mean you could be stuck working until you're 67?    :D

Fair play, I hadn't realised you could get them over that space of time and as long as you can shorten it at a later date you're laughing.

the way i look at my mortgae is that in a few years when all the oil runs out. There is likely to be another world war so the fact that i have a huge debt doesn't really matter as it's all gone end and i'll probably be killed fighting some rag head any way!

:soapy tit wank: fair enough

my mortgage is for 30 years with Abbey.

Fixed for 5 years so we don't have to worry much about stuff until then.

Ralphy, sounds like a good deal you got there. That new estate looks quite smart tbh. (well last time is was down it was just starting up but the pictures looked good  :oops: )

Is a lovelly place, viewed it today.

i love mortgages they make me money :D

the abbey and britania building society have both rang me in the last 3 weeks asking if i want a job with them.i declined them both as i enjoy working with the sub prime lenders tbh

of course..just pm when your ready

Hmm... my post dissapeared. Cheers anyway Macca, I'll keep it in mind!

Sam make sure as a one town fan to another he gives you a decent commission deal as mortgage advisers basically get paid for filling in your application forms.

I know, working for a life assurance company means I'm quite aware of the amount of money advisers can make out of you, but I also know they can flex their commission in an effort to get you a better deal  8)

where do you work?

Zurich, well Capita now we've been outsourced.

ha ha ha

I just sued CAPITA on behalf of my of my clients for breach of contract ha ha

my mate used to work there then he just walked out. was only about 2 months ago i think

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Cunt.

What's his name?

James. he has long Ginger hair  :soapy tit wank: scary i know

I still work at Zurich, it's alright now we've got rid of all the chaff!!   :wink:

Nah, don't know him.

Just been into Halifax today and sorted my mortgage  :beers:

£430 a month  :D

This is fixed interest rate of 4.99 % for 2 years.

I then go back in and get the next deal after that.

Sounds good. What term is that over?

Nice one Ralphy got mine approved in principal tody as well.

Roll on 2008  :beers:

Sam, 40 year mortgage.

Me and the missus have been looking at mortgages lately. With our combined salaries we can borrow £100-£110k.

Done a few online quotes for £100k over 30 years, coming out around £500-550 a month.

Just got to find somewhere to live now...

I'm single, and the most i could borrow on my salary was £100k.

Got a mortgage for £90k cos i'm putting down a £6,750 deposit.

Sam if its swindon drop me a pm I buy property for investors all the time and usually buy 10% under value.

Right, could someone who knows a bit about mortgages clear this up for me. Sorry if this sounds a bit thick.

Loads of people keep harping on about deposits and it's got me utterly confused. For arguments sake, say I want a house that costs £100k and I've got £10k, I borrow £90k and the £10k is a deposit.

But then people tell me about another 10% deposit when you complete. Where does this come from, does it mean I've got to find another £10k?

My brain is totally fried  :?

I'm no expert but the further 10% on completion is highly unusual unless its conditions stipulated by the developers of a new build.

If you sniff about as a first time buyer you may even get away with as little as a 5% deposit as a first time buyer.

I think I've got my head round it now.

If I borrow £90k for a £100k house, the difference of £10k is called a 'mortgage deposit' which is effectively still cash in my bank.

When contracts are exchanged and the usual 10% deposit is paid, this will effectively be the £10k of my own cash rather than the £90k mortgage... I think.

Fuck it, I'm still confused. :x

Spot on I'd say Guvnor.

Nice one Dazzza  :D