Thetownend.com

Good morning and welcome to this the 5th annual pointless post cup brought to you from the Tina Arena.The atmosphere here is electric with anticipation with what promises to be an incredible competition. Favourites this year include iloverobbie's post..



..on a thread about Cancer research, and GAZ90's..



..on a thread about the military coup in Thailand.

The pointless post world is of course still reeling from the shock news that hot favourite Blinkpip has been diqualified from the competition after tests were carried out on a post he made yesterday.Small traces of a point were discovered and he has been barred from the competition until further notice, a PPA statement read " We are as shocked as anybody that a post by Blinkpip would contain a point, it doesn't matter how small the point was rules are rules ".

Now I pass you back to Gary in the studio who is with last years winner i've got tits.

Gary: Yes that's right, I'm joined by last years winner i've got tits. So tits you won last year with the post..



..on a thread about President Mugabe.Do you think any of this years competitors will beat that, and who do you think are the favourites this year?

i've got tits: Cock and balls!

Gary: Brilliant! Now it's over to the Townend forum where we have live coverage of what should be another day of pointless posting.Your commentators are Richie Benaud and Michael Slater..


Richie: Morning Gary, Morning Michael, Morning everyone.....

Class!!

That brightened my Monday morning!!

That is simply brilliant Spacey.  


 
Has brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Michael Slater: Well fuck me richie, the standard out there today is amazing.Let's take another look at that last incident




That's great stuff, the only think that worries me is fatbury's choice of emoticon.If he'd used a rolling eyes or a wanker then we really would have a competition on our hands.

Richie Benaud: That sure is a doozie, Slats.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Michael Slater: Well fuck my arse! That is incredible! not only has he replied using just an emoticon, he's used the same one twice! lets look at that in slow mo..




AWESOME!

Richie Benaud: That's impressive stuff.

yawn

"its getting interesting now"

Michael Slater: Holy fuckers! They're calling for the 3rd umpire on this one Richie. Lets take a look on the pointsometer...



I can't see fuck all of a point there, how about you Richie?

Richie Benaud: Fuck all point.

Michael Slater: Here comes the verdict....and it's there! Totally no fucking point whatsoever.

Richie Benaud: Good decision by the umpire.

i'd like to nominate this thread (http://www.thetownend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14754) as the overall winner.

Mlchael Slater: I always like to see the fans dressing up for the days play.Look over there Richie, there's a fat cunt dressed like a goth.

Richie Benaud: Great stuff.

my middle name is paul. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Gary: welcome to day 2 of the pointless post cup, and I'll pass you straight to our commentators John Motson and Mark Lawrenson.

John Motson: Yes, thanks Gary.It's another glorious day here at the Townend forum and you just have to look at who's online to realise we should be in for some top-notch pointless posting. Who's impressed you so far Mark?

Mark Lawrenson: Well John, I think STFC Bart is causing quite a stir.It's not just that he posts the same thing over and over again, it's the excellent way that he starts new threads.

John Motson: There has been some debate though hasn't there Mark, about whether his posts do contain a point?

Mark Lawrenson: That's right John, I think it would be a shame if that was the case.I think if there was an original point then that was cancelled out by the repetition, some of  the threads he started were the pointless post equivalent of the Cruyff turn.

John Motson: Well the Dutch invented Total football, maybe Bart has just invented Total pointless posting.

Mark Lawrenson: Sexy posting if you like

John Motson: I wouldn't go that far Mark.

sound  of Mark Lawrenson laughing just off mic


John Motson: I think it's worthwhile mentioning the contribution of Mexico red to yesterdays action.

Mark Lawrenson: Well that's right John, he's such a wily old poster.I think his experience showed yesterday, not only did he post something with absolutely no relevence to anything, he used an emoticon that had no relevence to what he'd posted....outstanding.

John Motson: Okay, now it's time for the forum anthem...


We all come from Swindon
and we don't give a shit
we all post pointless posts
of that we all admit
We will put a smiley face
after everything
what's your top 5 chocolate bars
everybody sing..

Townend, Townend, we are proud and upright
Townend, Townend, we'll post all through the night


etc etc etc etc etc

you are such a miserable cunt its ace.

John Motson: The referee is checking with his assistant on this one, lets take a look at the replay



Mark Lawrenson: There's definately a point to that one John.

John Motson: You're right Mark, the referee has disallowed it

Fannylips  :soapy tit wank:

John Motson: What do you make of that Mark?

Mark Lawrenson: Well if you go back to yesterday and a point Michael Slater made about fatbury's post, it's the choice of emoticon that troubles me.

John Motson: I agree Mark, there's about 40 or 50 emoticons to choose from and I think the Frenchman has let himself down with his choice.

Mark Lawrenson: Yeah, if he'd used a mr green or a neutral we'd be talking about that post for a long time.

I'm discusted that my favorite sock colour (sponsored by Mrs & Mrs Spacey) thread has failed to even get nomintaed here :wanker:

I blame Garth Crooks, the wannabe intellectual spear chuking cunt.

sorry ...... :face:

Mark Lawrenson: Now that's more like it John, not only are their several childish spelling mistakes, he's also used the wanker smiley.That's worth looking at again



John Motson: I liked the way he remembered a previous pointless thread that he'd started, it shows a good knowledge of pointlessness.I think the 2 Alans back in the studio will be purring about that one.

Mark Lawrenson: He's another poster in the Mexico red mould isn't he John.He's posted more pointless crap than dave russell's had hot dinners, and that boys had a shit-load of hot dinners.

John Motson: It's men against boys out there isn't it Mark.

Mark Lawrenson: Yeah, if you mistakes at this level then you'll get punished.

:mrgreen:  :mrgreen:

Andy Gray: (none of this pikey BBC rubbish for my posts) OOOOOOOH GET in, What a hit son, what a hit!

Hairy hands: hes shown a great knowledge of the rules of pointlessness there with the double smiley. The lad Piemonte is worl class

John Motson: Piemonte's on a hat-trick!

Mark Lawrenson: He's a different class!

oh well.....back to the boring board for me...."taxi!"
 :run:

Mark Lawrenson: It looks like the Frenchman's being stretchered off John.

John Motson: He's probably broken his leg again.

I got up at 8.15 this morning, yet still made it to work on time. This has enabled me to make pointless posts during my lunch hour.

thats like a circular refrence in Excel that is. making a pointless post that actually refers to its pointlessness

John Motson : Let's have a quick word with Alan in the studio, on what he's expecting to see today

Alan Hansen : Well you look at the conditions today John and I just can't see where the pointless posts are gonna come from.  There's an away match at Wycombe that a lot of people will attend so the posters may be a bit thin on the ground.  Although having said that, there may be one or two out there who'll cause a surprise.  Shocking defending.

(I apologise for ruining your flow)

John Motson: Thanks Alan but I think Piemonte might have something to say about that...Mark?

Mark Lawrenson: You've got to admire his dedication haven't you John

John Motson: I was speaking to his manager at the hotel last night, he told me that Piemonte stays behind and continues being pointless long after his team mates have gone home.

Mark Lawrenson: If there's any kids reading and they want to see an example of pointlessness then they should look no further than Piemonte.

My favorite fish is haddock :eat:

note the use of a topical smiley. textbook stuff.

Mark Lawrenson - I'll tell you what is pointless John, Lee Peacock in the penalty area

I know of a great pointless post, but i don't want to add it to this thread becasue it might offend the person who started the thread all that time ago. :girl:

John Motson: is this Piemonte's hat-trick!? Let's take a look at the replay



Mark Lawrenson: well I just feel John, that there could be a point in there.If his girlfriend or a family member were to read that and they were thinking of cooking him some fish but didn't know what his favourite fish was then...plus the smiley is relevent.

John Motson: You're right Mark it's been disallowed.

Andy Gray: Aye, fair point there wee janny.

I'd argue that an FD with no fucking idea of the financial state of a football club is more pointless than a hardworking striker though fella. WHAT A HIT SON, WHAT A HIT

Big Ron: The lad spacey has made his thoughts on smiley use clear early doors, then suddenly changed his mind like Desially, the fucking lazy nig....

*transmission ends*

John Motson: How do you interpret the rules on smiley use Mark?

Mark Lawrenson: Well I just feel it would be pointless to do so John

*** HALF TIME ***

Graeme Le Saux : I'm gonna go have a slurp at the ring of feathers

Lee Dizon : Where's that Graeme?

Graeme Le Saux : Round a ducks arse

John Motson: Personally, as much as I love this thread, I think the laddo Spacey should consider getting some employment.

Mark Lawrenson: Too true Motty my boy. He obviously has too much time on his hands, if he can sift through all of the pointlessness on this forum.

John Motson: apologies to the viewers at home, we were  temporarily taken over by campaigners for gay rights then but thankfully security have ejected them.Just to clarify that wasn't myself or Mark but some bummers with a grudge.

Mark Lawrenson: Ill informed bummers John

 John Motson: Indeed

Bump.

I cant think of anything pointless to say :cry: