Thetownend.com

Most people obviously think their boss is a wanker, but does anyone have a complete arsehole/character in charge, or do any of you(shock horror) like your boss?  

My boss isn't much taller than a dwarf and is an old skool London club scene blagger who used to also throw parties for the Sultan of Brunei's son(until he got in trouble for wanking away billions on whores and cocaine).  He once had his flat raided by the met who found 100,000 e's belonging to someone else that were partly funded by the IRA, although luckily for him the coppers were bent so he got away with that one.

His on/off girlfriend is the daughter of a very famous tv presenter, he once very nearly decapitated Robbie Williams with a confetti cannon, and has recently remixed a comeback album for an awful 70's crooner.  He can't spell or add up even with a calculator, and he tells the most ridiculous lies to try and get himself out of trouble.  After getting arrested while racking up a line when he hit the town with us, he tried to claim he'd found it under a table and was just checking what it was before he handed it in.

He goes on occasional coke binges where he turns his phone off if he thinks there might be a problem, then shouts at everyone else when we silence his calls.  When he's leaving us alone and letting us pretty much run the company, everyone thinks he's okay really, then he sticks his oar in and everyone wants to hit him(except you couldn't because he's too small).


So, can anyone compete with that? :D

I had a boss who had something against me for no real reason.

He just wouldnt not promote me......still dont know why, constentlyh gave me crappy jobs and moaned that I wasnt doing them properly, mainly due to  the fact he changed the scope every week when he felt like it...just so I couldnt do it right

Luckily he swapped jobs with some else, he's a decent bloke. Very friendly into his football....much better.....still fairly new but a decent manager and doing a good job of mopping up the shit left by the previous cunt...

you're such a name dropper amir

:D

The only celebrity I can recall really meeting is Bobby Charlton when I was 10.  What I do is very unglamourous, and they always herd us scum out before anyone important turns up.

My old boss used to sexually harass me and because I wouldn't sleep with him give me all the really shitty jobs that weren't even related to my job, he used to creep up behind me and stroke my hair, he also used to peel my skin if I had sun burn, he also used to pretend he was riding me like a motorbike if I wore my hair in pig tails  :?  He also groped me at every opportunity and one to one meetings were a must so he could try and discuss my sex life  :?  He really was sick.  When I called him a fucking cunt he asked for a blow job  :? He was given a years sabatical because you don't 'sack' people who work for local government but he'll be back soon  :(  I have moved department now  :D

My new boss is ace, everytime I burp at work he shouts 'spunk' and loves my swearing because it brightens up the office  :? He also doesn't seem to care about my internet useage at work either as long as my work gets done  :D oooh and I get loads of cool toys like a new PDA and a work mobile, which I never use and a DVD ROM on my PC for lunch times  8)

Have to ask, what is it you do Amir?

Events industry stuff, normally vip areas or corporate showcasing and the like.  Sometimes work in London clubs/bars, but I hate that.


Birdy, your new boss sounds pretty cool, especially in comparison 8)

Plenty of freebies then?

A little boring in comparison but my boss is straight up.  Nice bloke, family man in fact the only unusual thing is he's pretty shoddy at monitoring his blood sugar levels.

Quite often he’ll go through three stages.  A bit off colour, then the touretts kicks in and finally mentalist mode.  Being a black belt makes the latter a little disturbing especially when it becomes a game of pile on and trying to force a solution down his neck.

Aside from that he’s a stand up chap.  Lets me get on with my job to the extent where I have the freedom define my own role.  Plenty of freebies involved, I have a cupboard crammed with thousands worth of technology which I can ‘borrow’ whenever I like so all in all it’s not a bad way to make a living.

Work has always been defined for me by how you feel on a Monday morning after a first-class weekend.  It’s always going to be a bit of a shitter no matter what you do but in my current job I'm luck enough to honestly say I really don’t mind it that much at all.

Bit's and pieces, usually tat.  Normally get to fleece drinks at festivals or get some given, only time I can remember there being a proper free bar they asked us to stop drinking so much as there wouldn't be any left for the guests :|

Can normally get in free to any of the music jobs we do, but we're nearly always working somewhere else when the gigs are actually on.

My boss is like me but fatter and more bitter.

Its me in 10 years...

Hpefully I'll turn to Islam before that happens

He also has no people skills what so ever but that makes my life easier.

I listen I smile/scowl and they think I understand....I don't I wish they wouldn't talk to me 8)

One of my bosses is a copycat of David Brent (leggett and compo will know who im talking about)

The other day he put up on the board that we had moved up from 68th to 14th in the UK as far as mail centres goes.  :-))(

Manager "Now we're at 14th the next question is how do we get to number 1?"

"and when we get to number 1 the next question will be how do we stay there?, which im currently working on!"    :soapy tit wank:

Someone then asked him if he could do the Brent Dance?.

My boss looks like Geoffrey from rainbow.

Spuddy!!!  MMMMMMM i wonder who that might be?

Dont have a boss, cos I am one

My boss is a lesbian and she looks like Ian Beales misses on eastenders.

which one's Ian nobbing now then?

P butcher.
 :twisted:

Same as , I like to think that im a good boss. I have been on the other side of the fence so i know all the scams and short cuts that my contractors try to pull but i also know when to keep them sweet .

i have two bosses, one in UK, one in Switzerland.  neither talk to each other and if I'm about to go on a trip to one or other of the places, respective boss won't talk to me much either incase I'm "spying" for the other side.  Sad really, and counter productive, but it leaves me to do what I want really.  Skiving isn't even a challenge.

My boss keeps calling me a cunt in a humourous way, and has also asked me if I can get him some coke as he thinks I am a coke head  :shock:

He also thinks I'm an australian bar man.  :?

suppose it has nothing to do with your driving or wacky hair?  :D

My boss has a moustache.

He also isnt really too fussed what I get up to as long as the work gets done on time and to a reasonable standard.

Sadly this is going to hinder my career, I could probably get a job earning more than I do now but its easier to sit in the comfort zone :?

does he get crumbs in his moustache?

Yes. And various other foodstuffs. He has to specially wipe his tash after lunch :D

does he look like Poirot?

Shouldn't he leave it there, in preparation for an afternoon snack?

No, hes 6"2 and must weigh at least 18/19 stone



I would leave it if I had a tash, but its probablly for the best he wipes as I have to sit opposite him all day

Does he look like Tosh off The Bill then?

My boss is ok. She's tried to talk to me a lot when I'm doing my work, which I don't like and she's constantly coming onto my mate even though he's 21 and my boss is nearly dead...

Or so I thought. I thought she was about 50 but It's her 40th tomorrow :shock:. She didn't want to make a big deal over it, so me and my mates stayed on late today and decorated her desk with ballons and 'big 40' banners  8)

What you sayin?!?  :box:

I dunno really, maybe I want to run my fingers through your wacky hair  :D

My boss doesn't like me because I'm not friendly or productive.

My boss has obtained 2 massive bottles of champagne for my leaving do tonight!  Ace  :D

will we all be getting slurred phone calls later??

Girls are taking over the forum. This will be 3 posts in a row from girls is that a record? :D

seeing as you're actually a bloke, no it won't be a record

ha ha

The only record is the amount of cr@p being posted from a fictional Eastern European fruitcake.

Barry was better though.

Petra, you are such a pretty girl. much nicer than any of the other girls on here

I'd like to show you around Swindon and show you some typically English traditions such as "tea bagging" and "turkey slapping"

Lots of Love

Piemonte

not space docking?

cunt

fucking hell

If your going to keep repeating yourself at least say something that makes sense. I dont understand these strange English slangs.

I wasn't talking to you you stupid bitch

 :mrgreen:

Hello Piemonte. I don't just go on a date with anyone after what happened to me last time. I like to get to know someone first. i dont think I want to go Turkey slapping beause I am a vegetarian. Is it like the Spanish do with bull fighting except they use a Turkey because the English are too sared to be hurt.?

Petra I thought you were meant to be setting me up with peter Brezovan  :(
I hope he does not like tea bagging, personally I like my cups of tea quite weak.
well?.....

I was going to take back evertything I said about my new boss coz he shouted at me, then it turned out that he had actually took in what I said and has done something about it.  He has taken on a temp and my fucking god it is some twat I used to hang around with at college, now I really hate my new boss  :evil:

Hello Petra. You sound like hard work, so I'll give it a miss thanks.

Being from eastern europe, I was under the impression you would let me power fuck your face for £30. Sadly it would seem this is not the case.

I would however like to recommend a fellow TEF member; Fatbury. He is single and by all accounts is a charming man that will treat you to fine wines, belgian chocolates and away trips to Scunthorpe.

I wish you both a happy future. :thumbs:

 :soapy tit wank:

my last boss gave me a blowjob at work.my current boss is male so he is not as good as my last boss

My boss is awesome and I class him as a mate.

Genuinely funny bloke with aspirations of being a sitcom writer!

I think we're a bad influence on him.

Coate water? half 10?  :wink:  :mrgreen:

You might get more than you bargained for, she'll have her horse with her at half 10 tomorrow!  :shock:

stfcfan is safe my horse has been de-bollocked, he can aim but he can't fire

Surely post of the year??