Thetownend.com

NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secretfears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to
clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't
do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah,
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah,
blah, NOW

Decent single men don't exist, they are already married and don't do affairs or they are gay.

Ever the optimist aren't we Birdy  :mrgreen:

yep. being nice went out the window on saturday when you lot bullied me  :|

Basically, you lot are all hard work, and hardly worth the effort... that's how i read it.

Do you take time to get to know us???????

so true  :D

bird/lady, did you leave a hoodie in my car? if so i've burnt it

That was mine you cunt  :x

you'd better bring it Tuesday or i'll get cold  :cry:

Agreed



Whats the point if you're hard work and hardly worth the effort

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


This is also very true!

I like to kick cats  8)

the nickname one is very true...and the cat thing is too...cat isn't a pet people.

And court appearances  :|

 :mrgreen:  :nod:  :--

:)  

 A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

This made I laugh.

The only difference is that men are all monsters/aliens/dirty gits. Well most. And no we don't find it funny when you burp really loudly when your about 5 cm away from our faces. EWWW.

Ah, but we do find that funny.  Burping in the ear can be quite funny too.

basically suck us off a couple of times a week and we will put up with all your shit.

Nice and blunt Mex.  The comment i mean...

OR when you burp 5cm's from our faces then blow the skanky smell in our faces also. OR farting in bed.  Well sometimes that is quite funny i suppose but the burping in faces is not.

do we have to spit or swallow?

you wouldnt have to do anything sweetheart.

awwwwwwww thanks my lovely  :D

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

actually i meant there was no way i would let you near my cock you dirty cow.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

can't argue with that  :D

What the fuck are you on about? I've never heard anyone say anything like that. ever. and i know everything

women eh? :shrug:

I copied and pasted it  :D  ( Birdy tells me you still have a few things to learn Pie! )

if you've got a big sausage it doesn't apply to you Piejapseye

That's a lie. All women love marriage as they get a free house and a bit of cash on divorce.

I don't love marriage, I am never getting married

she wishes she knew that :wink:

Thats a very narrow minded view!

 :mrgreen:

dave is my hero

It's a highly accurate portrayal of modern-day matrimony

I disagree. I think someone has been reading too much of Heat and Ok magazine.

everytime i see that pic of ricky shakes, i can imagine him going "waaaaah!" and bursting into tears

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Who is that then?

both of those magazines are shit btw