Thetownend.com

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers... "I don't weally fink my pyfon gives a phuk."

:mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  Very good.


Although on a serious note to any snake owners.....your meant to feed them mouses.Not rabbits.

Mice even.Retard.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Bless !

In real life during a conversation i'd probably say mouses to make people laugh because I generally speak like a dork but I know if I write it on here people automatically think your a retard that can't spell or something. But look I can spell hippopanonamus.

I havent been told any good jokes in ages really. I'll think of one soon.

Heres some funny chat up lines....

· Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.


· I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.


· Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?


· Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?


· Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.


· I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.


· Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.


· Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.


· I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.


· I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.


· If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.


· Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?


· If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.


· There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.


· Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.


· You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.


· That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?


· There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.


· Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!


· Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.


· Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.


· Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.


· Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?


· Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.


· Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?


· Be unique and different, say yes.


· You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.


· Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.


· Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.


· Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight.


· If you were a buger I would pick you first.


· You: Can I borrow a quarter? She: why? ( if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why) You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. (have something quick to say afterwards)


· Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your butt is out of this world.


· He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!


· He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She : No. He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...


· He : Hey, Stop! She : What? He : You're undressing me with your eyes... I know you're doing it. STOP!


· Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.


· I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?


· What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)


· Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!


· My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.


· I can't wait until tomorrow. She replys why not. You say cause you look better everyday.


· Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.


· Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

ok sade you won me over with all of those. when and where?

don't you want me beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennett

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  Brilliant!!!

i couldn't deal with your mood swings darling, i'm sorry

:D There was another funny one, something like 'is your dad a cement mixer cos you give me a hard on' thats for a man to say to a woman....obviously.

Bennett are you a male slag?

no but i will be if that's what it takes

I think mexico red still loves me so I don't know. Actually no he called me a frigid bitch the other day.