Thetownend.com

Wednesday May 12th 1993

Guess what? My frog is here and she is doing my head in, she really smells of BO and I wish she would f-off

Friday May 14th 1993

My frog, (smelly Gwen) reckons she is coming back to stay with me next year, she can get a life. Sad Ken

The scattered mind of an early nymphomaniac

did you do acid as a kid?

she does acid now doesnt she?

yes once

Fucking slag.

Monday May 24th 1993

Went to Leanne Smiths birthday party today, sat next to Tim on the sofa, he cuddled me.  We watched Sister Act.

I know her, Larkmeadian?

no, john mason......phew

Ah, i'm thinking of a different Leanne. And fuck off you scummy John Mason scummer

Fuck off you Larky Mong

Whoopi.

See what I did there.

Do you know any of the steptoes?

My Father's best friend is Neil. I assume you know Sue?

Neil rings a bell.  I meant did you not go to school with any?

birdy, skip to the bit when you first kissed a women, get down to the good stuff

I didn't. The Steptoes live in Marcham, maybe you know other Steptoes?

do they know harold?

http://www.scotsindependent.org/2005/050304/steptoe%20and%20son.jpg

Friday 11th June 1993

Disco tonight, I have decided that I quite fancy Ben H and Bods. Bods keeps asking me for a race in my tractor.

I slow danced with bods twice and then I danced with Ben everyone kept telling me to tongue his ear

No the saxton road steptoes.  never mind.

I try not to mix with anyone from there

I know that now  :oops:   :D

Thursday July 29th 1993

Saw Matty B today, He spoke to me for a bit, he is well lush, I wish he would finger me.

I went to youth club tonight Louise went down the slide with no knickers on.  Slag.

:shock:

How old are you if you were at a youth club. I stopped going to those things at about 10 years old!

ABBO COLLEGE MASSIIIIIIIIF

in 1993 I was 15, yes I did go to youth club coz it was for up to 18 year olds. yes I was sad.

This all clearly happened last year and Birdy's just changed the dates  :wink:

I hope so anyway. Otherwise it's quite sick and disgusting  :?

I so wish I had kept a diary at college.  That would have been ace.  unfortunately I was caned most of the time  :(

I thought they abolished that ages ago. I'll bet you enjoyed it though

I did, I liked being tied up first

still not touched the sticky green in my time at college, despite having rolled joints for people. i'll still fuck up me exams though

I got a merrit and a distinction in my exams, so that doesn't mean anything.  I am sure you will do fine young youth

:D  Birdy this is one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Do carry on.

I think I have been told off, sorry sade  :(

Shut up have you

:(  Shame

I have a dairy with a dog on the front which I used to write in when I was 9, then it just stopped. Its got 'I love tom' written all over it though. Some boy I was obsessed with in junior school. He said I had pretty hair once and that made my day, cept the next day he threw mud at me. I only used to write in it when I was upset, most of the time when my sister bit me or I had been told off by a teacher at school  :king:

Saturday July 31 1993
I am absolutely gutted, found out that Sam is leaving to move to Swindon, He is soo sexy, I will never forget the time he scuttled me behind the trampolines in the PE store cupboard, He is going out with Claire now anyway.  I just found out that Bod has a stomach ulcer which is why he is sick on the school bus.  Yuk.  Carl stole my money. Again.

What does "he scuttled me behind the trampolines " mean?!

exactly what it says.  You are partial to giving a good scuttle I am sure  :wink:

I don't know what scuttling is. I'm not from a small inbred village...

And 13/14 years old at the time. Slag

15 actually  :P

Wednesday September 22 1993
Went footy training tonight, The rude big boys asked me to shower with them.  One of them asked me to pull his soap on a rope.

I wish I had a diary.

I have an even better one from when I was 16.  Other half my beat me up if I posted that.

Fuck him.... do it anyway!!!  :D

Shes making it up.......................

how do you know slag face???

There is nothing I can say that you haven't done  :evil:   :wink:

21st August 1996

My 15th birthday party today. Got the house to myself from 6:00pm till 12:00pm.

96 cans of cheep lager on the dining room table and 30 bags of chips pre-ordered from the local chippy for later on.

I chased Steve with a kitchen knife cos he got off with Nikki, bastard.

House is a tip and there's chips everywhere on the lawn but i fingered 2 girls, result.

Took sleeping bag down the woods where we all slept.



I started a diary for a while but then couldn't be arsed, thought this entry was funny. :)

You fingered 2 girls???  :o one with each hand at same time

No but they were sisters  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

you slag  :o

no 14 yr old girl uses the term "scuttled" :D  even you :D

I WAS 15  :twisted:

alright I changed the word from felched to scuttled - OK?

 :mrgreen:

its all lies, lies I tell thee!

Still entertaining though, so carry on

Felched? Isn't that licking or fingering someone's asshole??  :shock:

Sucking jizz out of someones arse, Ralphy

And Birdy has done this ?  :chunder:

Saturday August 14 1993
Went to Tammys birthday party tonight and got a bit drunk. Jamaican dave took me round the back of the village hall and did bum stuff over a picnic table. Hurt loads but i'd do a black man again. Feel quite guilty tho as i also gave neil a blowjob in the toilets then snogged alex. My room is spinning now.

good work birdy.

This is one fucked up thread. Really.

Indeed  :|

ah come on you've met birdy, it all makes sense now doesn't it?

Entertaining reading though, you have to admit. Even you Dave.

I just find it a bit disturbing like. It might be stupid but I've always thought of old childhood diaries as really secret and something to be looked after. I ain't gay or owt.

I'm just disturbed how these stories are all about a 15 year old girl (I know it's a joke but still).

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,19118940-2703,00.html

i say no more

hahaha my old mans input; "i'd get the baby off to a loving adoptive home sharpish and give the girl a good hiding"

I was referring to the explicit detail rather than the fact a 15 year old girl had had sex.

It sickens me to think that girls like this show such a disregard for moral values.

It sickens and upsets me even more to think that the missus and I are having to go through IVF (and pay a fucking fortune for the privilege) to have children when this 'child' just has casual sex and gets pregnant. And to think she'll be sponging off my taxes for the rest of her life too.

I'm definitely with DMR's dad on this one.

Birdy, are you saying you got shagged up the ass when u were 15?!  :o

:(  I'm confused.

I wish I knew a 15 year old Birdy when I was 15.

My godmother and her hubby did it and it cost them literally tens of thousands I think, and about 3 years of their lives.

They've got a cracking little lad- Neale- now, so good luck mate  8)

 :nod:

WTF! :|

(Ben check your pm's)

Sussex, is she that dirty with you??!  :soapy tit wank:

Sunday August 15 1993
My head has been hurting today, also have a strange feeling in my bum,. I called Tammy this morning and she said that Jamaican Dave really fancied me and wanted to take me up the Arsenal.  I told her I supported Swindon, but he could take me to the shop for a Curly Wurly if he wanted to.  

Met Jamaican Dave at 5pm, we went to the cemetary because it was quiet.  His mate Tom was there. They went 2's up on me but we had to stop and hide because my dad was walking the dog through there.

:shock: evening birdy

Hello

just enjoying your disturbed childhood

yeah, I have several issues now I am all grown up  :|

So did Jamaican Dave take you up the Arsenal?

let me just say that i dont think i will ever say that sentence again!

I'm surprised Dave is complaining, I'm sure it was him who posted about when he lost his virginity on holiday and he was about the same age as Birdy was then.

No, Jamaican Dave moved not long after, I didn't see him til recently he moved into my road  :shock:  :wink:

Dont believe all this, could well be true but is so easy to make up and 'fit in' with Birdy's now filthy image..

What do you mean 'now' filthy image  :?

That seems to have been created on the forum, diaries just seem to play up to it...

No, she really is filth. It's quite disgusting

Done by a black bloke up the arse by 15, velched by 15 fucking hell!!

Harsh but fair!  :)

cunts  :wink:

Thursday September 9th 1993

Back to school today, what a laugh that was.  Youth club tonight, Nick was there, he is quite sweet I suppose, needs his haircut though.  Chris W and Louise had a snog to Dina Carroll don't be a stranger and Nick and I found them in the church door way, looked like Louise was sucking his cock.  Nick asked me to do the same to him.......................

Def aint letting my kids grow up like you grew up! Did you not worry someone from ur family would find the diary?

No, not really, my family don't generally rumage through my stuff

no but if u left it out or something, bit risky i would hav thought

Crikey!  Its history.......now making a very entertaining read!

:fishing:

Exactly :D

:-))(

So, you've taken your diary into work then?

Yeah come on Birdy, tell everyone why you've got the day off...  :D

Could it be magic...?

:twisted:  I hate you all. Especially you Sussex Red.  Everything changes but you  :|

I don't think it's possible to be more confused than i am at the moment

It only takes a minute

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever

Why can't I wake up with you??  :wink:

What do you call a dog with four pricks?

Sussex Red?

Take That and Lulu you spaz

Once you've tasted (birdy) love

I think I'm more confused. But I've still laughed loads reading this thread so it can't be all that bad  :D

What a whore.  :wink:

Tell me about it.

Anyone would think shes the type of girl who fucks people she meets on internet forums :D

 :oops:

i think she is a lovely girl   :D

Ive never met her but she seems to be a nice lass