Thetownend.com

Moan about non football related stuff here in a grumpy old man style..

Buses

They have a correct change only policy in Swindon  which would be fine if they didnt change the prices every week.I dont get the Bus very often so how am I supposed to know what the correct change is?They either want people to use public transport or they dont!Its an obvious scam to get more money out of unsuspecting mugs like me.

Down with buses :x

People who stop and chat in high streets.

If I can just contain pavement rage being stuck behind some window gawping plodder there's nothing worse than those idiots that stop dead blocking the way of those that want to get somewhere.

Dickheads who want to argue the toss/chat to their vapid braindead mate who works on the tills in front of me at the checkout.

You might have nothing going on in your life gobshite but I've got better things to do than to wait for you to get an update on whether Maggie's taken 5 minutes longer on her break than she should have done and she always gets away with it because she sucks up to the supervisor and/or listen to you seek reassurance for the 8th time that this battery/DVD/power adapter/fish food will work properly with whatever half-dead kit it is you've got at home and/or the fucking idiots who turn up at the service desk at B&Q with half a shower attachment and no receipt and want to know why they can't have a full refund 9 months after they bought the fucking thing and have finally got off their fat arses long enough to try and install it only to realise they haven't got a) the right type of eletrical connections in their bathroom b) a bathroom c) running water when all I want to know is where the fucking hell they've hidden the nobbly gigdets or whatever it is this time and I've got to wait half an hour listening to this food-stained moron wibbling on and there's no way they're ever going to get a refund because sometimes, mate, it's your fucking fault, you screwed up now live with it and GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!

But apart from that, I'm quite serene really.

Oh, and pensioners being allowed near any form of motor vehicle. Ever. But especially when I'm late for something and I'm trying to do Brizzle-Swindon in 30 mins flat, minimum speed 90, no more than two wheels in full contact with the road at any one time, and then get brought to a screeching halt by some fucking coffin-dodger doing 25.

London

Dirty horrible stinking place, everyones rushing don't know where they're going.  It'll take you 3 hours to get to central london, and you'll never believe it when you step out the other end.  And the smog, on a fine day you can see it in Surrey.  Then everything's so fast pace, in Spain they say 'manana' in London they say yesterday, and cockneys think they are 'a little bit smarter than the rest of ya' normally because they're taking far too much cocaine.

It wasn't like that in my day.

Actually, now that I come to think of it, middle management tossers who are apparently incapable of speaking English and have instead to rely on throwing corporate buzzwords around in the hope that they sound smart even though they couldn't leverage a fart if it sat up and begged for them and then worse than that because it worked at work (which is onlu because the whole place is full of equally clueless fuckwits who also have nothing to say and don't understand what they're saying when they do) insist on doing it all the time even in their private lives so that at some point even when you're in a non-corporate setting you're guaranteed to come across some fucking cock who says "Hmmm, maybe we should whiteboard this" and you're not even allowed to just lay the fucker out there and then because then everyone will start banging on about your agression issues.

I find that quite irritating as well

And ditto what Amir said. London is shit. Although so is Surrey

And the Daily Mail. And the Express. And the Sunday editions. And everyone who reads them. Nasty narrow-minded golf club bigots who are so fucking smug that all they have to worry about in their shallow lives is house prices in Esher which is why their headlines are always about how Labour's communist plot to do {insert scary sounding Trot thing here} will inevitably result in a crash in the housing market. Get out more and get some proper fucking clothes for Christs sake.

 :nod:

Especially The Mail.  At least the red tops don't hide that they're dumbing down, people who read the mail think they run the country :soapy tit wank:  All newspapers have their agenda at the end of the day, none of them just give you the facts.

And the drawstring rubbish bags at Tescos. They seem to have got a new supplier or something in the last 6 months or so but now every time you try to use the drawstrings to pull the bastard thing shut it snaps and you're left with a standard no drawstring binbag plus a flailing useless yellow plastic streamer in one hand. Shitehawks

:D Paul I think ive created your thread heaven

The women in WHSMITH'S who ask me if i would like a bag every time i buy a copy of Zoo/FHM. :evil:

That you might. I think I have anger management issues :D

I do most of these things. Notably singing in the street and wasting time on the tills at work.

i loathe public transport. it's full of smelly people.

i have a pathological hatred for the daily mail as well.

Middle Lane Drivers

I'm pottering down the motorway on the inside lane when its quiet and you come upto some cunt doing 60 in the middle lane when they can clearly move over!  :x

Buying shoes

"Hi, have you got these in a size 10?". The sales assistant goes offa nd comes back "Sorry sir, we haven't got any in a ten, but have them in a size 8..."
Size fucking 8, why the fuck would i want a size 8 when i'm size 10!  :x

Your lucky, im a size 11 and every time i ask for a pair of size 11's they fuck off for 5 minutes and then come back saying we've got them in an size 7!, "ace, i'll take em'!"  :roll:

I once picked one of the display, which was a size 8...my size....and I asked the woman.....

'do you have these in a size 8 please?'

she replies with

'this one is a size 8'

me

'yeah, I know....but I have two feet'

 :mrgreen: ace.

fuckin people

i fuckin hate people, they get in my way, they talk shit, fuckin generally annoy me, cunts the lot of them.

and places, i fuckin hate places, there just there arent they.

and food, i fuckin hate food, it takes ages to cook and then you eat it in five minutes and its gone. cunting food.

sexy girls,

i fuckin hate sexy girls because they are so fuckin sexy and they wont let me wank on them, what the fuck is that about?

Men - nuff said

oh yeah and people on this forum.

GET A FUCKIN GRIP. cunts.

Fucking teases :shake:

Bristol - enough said

Bath- too many tourists

And most of all, when you go shopping and theres women with push chairs just stood in the middle of the isles pissing about and your trying to shop. When you say 'excuse me' they give you a dirty look. Bitches. Get the fack out my way.

Builders - perverts. a complimate when they stare at you ? No.

I'm going to think of some more, I feel like having a proper good rant.
 :evil:

you're not a grumpy old man

Me, or yeovil ?

yeovil

yeah but she likes to sleep with grumpy old men 8)

 :D Class

People in front of me at Cash Points

Firstly know where your cash card is before you get to the cashpoint.Dont spend 10 minutes serching through your handbag while I wait card in hand in the pouring rain.

Secondly cash points are not new technology you must have used it before surely! dont stand there reading every instruction 10 times and dithering wondering what to do next...ITS EASY!!!

 Agreed sometimes its a bit of a mystery just how you can spend so long over what on the surface appears a simple procedure.

Those fuckers who take three cards to a cashpoint and then proceed top check the balance of every single one and print out a statement.  Half the time not even bothering to withdraw any cash.

I got on a unilink bus the other day, put a pound coin down on the coin tray thing (flat fare for everywhere). The bus driver looks at me blankly and said "that's a pound."

Well done you can obviously count money as well as drive a bus. Shame about your people skills you cunt. So I said "yes it is". Only when he realised I wasn't going to ask him what he meant did he tell me that the fare had risen to £1.20 the previous week. Bet he was well proud of himself the silly little arse.

Similiar to Yeovils one....woman who que up to pay for stuff then once they get to the till THEN they open up their handbag, looking for their purse....then they open their purse and slowly search around for the lose change, they get each coin out one by one counting slow.

Where as I'm waiting behind, cash already in hand I go through the till in about 10 second....

These are all things women do.

When you ask in a shop if they have something

"We just sold out this morning."

Really you fucking cunt? I'll just use my time machine and I will be fine  :roll:

People that put up notices.

Theres lots round our way they say 'Polite notice this garage is in constant use please leave clear' and theres one saying 'polite notice this isnt a dog toilet pick it up'.

Why polite notice? stop being so noncy.Im sorely tempted to print out some rude replies and stick them up. 'rude reply who gives a fuck!'

Spastics who can't park and thus take up 2 spaces in a busy carpark.

If you can't fucking do it, don't fucking drive.

People who fucking have stupid fucking MSN Names.  I mean really you should have your fucking real name up there so I don't have to check who the fuck you are, but if you're gonna be pissy about it don't fucking have a name that takes me 30 seconds to read and then I have to find out who you are.

The handicap/family parking spaces in Supermarkets.

I dont drive so have no right to get annoyed by these but I dont care.Everytime I go to the supermarket there are acres of empty spaces meant for these groups whilst everyone else has to park 100 miles away.Handicaps and families dont go shopping at night whats the harm in letting everyone use them between 8pm and 6am.

I park in those anyway. If someone complains I put a limp on.

Like Pablo  :wink:

These ones make me laugh ' laura u R my best mate 4 eva n I luv ya loads,tom is fit as fuck.can't w8 4 tuesday*katie*''. My sister has one like that. it says something like 'pook is hot'  :D  Don't blame me.

 :nod:

Haha! It's normally old women that tend to stop directly infront of you and everyway you move to get passed, she does too.......It's fookin annoying!

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Ace

But that's what everyone calls me!  I had Paul and my uni mates complained, I have Pablo and friends at home want me to change it to Pauletta...!

Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.

Not like you.......Wow!

NMH

Pablo Picasso never acted like one.

(probably)

Urrrggh ? Don't recall that line in the Bowie song. Or am I thinking at a tangent again ?

NMH

Think I should have quoted BWB! You got there too quick NMH.