Thetownend.com

Samdy has taken a job upstairs as director of Tombolas and i have been selected (no other fucker wanted to do it) to take his place and organise it.

This is an early warning to gauge interest and get you all thinking.

The club have been in touch and asked us to get ready for the squad to be announced.

So...

Whos interested?
Which Player?
etc etc

Usual rules apply:

We sponsor a player and get our name in the 'Match day Mag'...whoopydeedoo! :clap:

You ladies send me money via paypal....no fucking about please.

There a number of 'goodies we get as part of the deal' these will be given as prizes to lucky sponsors who have their name drawn out of a hat (Not juttys, the tickets would stick to the grease).  Samdy will be attendence for the draw so you cunts dont accuse me of fiddling it (i would be tempted).

I am also thinking of knocking up a Townend.com Tshirt for this event...so think of something amusing for that.

more details to follow, so for now dont message me but post any interest instead.  Cheers... :bye:

Well done Flash. No thanks to the rest of you cunts.

Count me in for £20.

My choice would be to stick with Ritchie, assuming he doesn't move on.

10 from me

How abkut roberts?

Super Ferry animal. £10

I don't have paypal and I will not be signing up just for this. Either let me do a bank transfer or you can fuck off. Other than that I'm in for a tenner.

Im in for my usual £10.

One of the players who plays lots would be my choice.

I will meet someone by the toilets in legends like I did last year and thrust a note in your hand.

Count me in for a tenner. Can we sponsor Paolo?

I'm in for a tenner. Don't really care who we sponsor.

This is acceptable but i will not be doing cheques and 'meet you in the Merlin' and all that shit.

thanks you for your continued support....

Matey from the Club says Ritchie is A Grade player...wooooooh!!

£450 girls.

i am in for a tenner not to bothered which player

go on then £10-must be my namesake Andy Williams!

I'll be in for a tenner.

sounds like something George Michael would say

Fixed it for you ... and George.

I'm up for this, Connell would be my choice but not too fussed really.

I'm in for £20, not fussed about the player

Yep i will go a tenner......all the players in a hat...draw it out....then everyone is happy.

Go on then, put me down for a tenner.

I have already sponsored his train ticket to Crawley.

Put me in for a tenner. Not bothered about the player.

I am happy to be in again, put me down for £20.

As for who, happy to stick with Ritchie (presume we get first refusal) or maybe go for Wes.

As for payment, would prefer Bank Transfer too if that's OK.

Tenner here. Paypal's ok

Put me down for £20 mate. Cash in hand as usual you tax dodger or i can do paypal or bank transfer

I 'LL let you know if we are short.

Those players who were here last season will have existing sponsors who get first refusal. We're best off sticking with Ritchie or trying to get one of the new boys. No chance of getting the likes of Wes or Ferry.

I think stick to Ritchie...we get first dibs.

Count me in for £20 Mr Flash, Paypal is ok by me.

Don't care which player, would be better if he's going to actually play though - so perhaps just roll the dice?

Put me down for a tenner. I was thinking Ritchie or Collins.

Happy to be in again this season so £10 from me. Would love to represent the TEF at the awards evening if no one else can make it  :)

I think I get to go to this, but I can take a lucky mascot of your choice!

If you bear me in mind I'd appreciate it then.

Err I did offer then had to rip withdraw from the race due to work commitments.
Bang me down for a score either way.

I'll take the sponsors dinner this time if you take bribes :D

I'm in for a tenner if I can do a bank transfer.

Not fussed who we sponsor.

I'm in for a tenner.

I don't mind sponsoring any player, but I'm sure if we suggested sponsoring Paolo's scarf for an equivalent amount the club would be well up for it. I would love to see the TEF written on his scarf as he holds it aloft after yet another win. It would be a real link between Paolo and the fans and may get a nice story for the club too to help counter the tabloid shite of the past few weeks.

paulos scarf could be a winner!!!!! :)

We could also throw in a beanie hat as a gesture  :) I like the idea but may interfere with Paolo's main sponsor to much but worth asking I suppose.

I can do a tenner by Paypal,

Curly Withers please

I'm in for £10, don't care who.

Perhaps we could offer to do that separately

I have asked the club ref the scarf and they are getting back to me.

Scarf scarf scarf

I'm up for ten again.

£10 via bank transfer if poss

Im in for a tenner mate you will have it in cash thursday!

Tenner from me - scarf is a blinding idea !!!

I'll be in for a tenner.

I think scarf is a great idea, or maybe Paolo's underpants.

Brilliant. Make sure the 80% bollocks part is clear to read  :D

£10 from me, scarf is a very good idea!

I get the sentiment, but you know they won't actually put thetownend.com on his scarf, right?

Plus, the club already charge £000's in corporate sponsorship for Paolo, so I would be surprised if they let this happen.

BOOOO!! Party pooper

Flash

Would you PM me your paypal address soon.

Moving money about can be a pain in the arse for me, so it's best I send you the tenner now while I have it sitting there. 

I hope the club takes a bigger view and I think Nick Watkins and Jeremy Wray are the type of guys who would see the positives from this. Even if the club does get £000's for Paolo's main sponsorship, his dodgy green coat, beanie hat and scarf have remained corporate logo free as far as I can tell so it's not as though we are pushing out a main sponsor. The reason I suggested it was my memories of the Bradford away game. The fans were a total credit to the club with all the scarfs held up and his scarf waving has become an iconic link between Paolo and the fans. Why not accept a bit of cash (even better if the club donates it to charity) for a cheeky mention of the TEF on his scarf? He loves the fans and we love him. Come on Stfc, make it happen!

No news yet.

The scarf is a brilliant idea.

25% Mental 80% Brilliant

Up for putting a few quid if it's still needed

Put me down for a tenner.

Can I pay you in squash courts?

Likewise the players don't get tattooed with their sponsor, otherwise there would be a few former players/managers with Gary Stanley written on there arm.

Did Paolo ever get his tattoo? He did promise!

Bit late to the game but I'll chip in if its still needed.

Off on me hold but when I get back I will be asking for the dosh.

Still no news from the club.

Ok ladies its not good news...

The club have come back to me and cannot offer PDC scarf for sponsorship.

So....Matt Ritchie it is.

Need to get the ball rolling now so i will message you for payment and get a spreadsheet done etc etc...

What was the reason given?

No reason....

'We cannot offer sponsorship of PDC scarf at this time'..

Would've been ace but never mind. Thanks for asking.

Ok ladies...time is running out!

I need to start getting this together.

I need the money in this week next week as i am on hols for two weeks after that and that will leave it tight.

Please see the benefits below.

The organiser (me) nabs the Sponsors night tickets, the other three prizes are raffled off with me and Samdy doing the draw.

Please please pretty please get this sorted asap. MESSAGE ME and i will give you paypal details or organise a meet in Swindon over the next two weeks to pick up any cash for you non pay pal peeps.

If you do Paypal me...ensure its down as a gift AND PLEASE put a reference to your User name on here...its makes it easier for me to track.


The breakdown of the benefits are as below and the total cost is £450.00 for the season.  The balance will need to be paid before the start of the season.

 
•Two passes to the Sponsor’s Suite for a League One home fixture (subject to availability).
•A signed shirt from your sponsored player, to be presented at the Sponsors dinner.
•Two complimentary tickets to the Sponsors dinner.  At this event you will spend the evening with your sponsored player with photograph opportunities.
•Two Complimentary Main Stand tickets to a Coca Cola home League One game
•Acknowledgement of your shirt sponsorship on the shirt sponsors page in the Match Day Magazine for all home games

Flash

Need paypal addy Flash

Paypal address is:

[email protected]

Please mark: username - Mark as a gift please.

If everybody pays up we are at £410 ish ...so we need a few more.

I will operate a first come first in basis......bound to be a few bullshitters....so please send the cash in.

I can do bank transfers please message me for details....

I am in the process of messaging all interested parties today.........

The Flash £20
Samdy £20
Tans £10
Barry Scott £10
Jayohaitchenn £10
Saxondale £10
Nochee £10
Herthab £10
WR5 £10
aDJE £10
Summerof69 £10
Dporter £20
Bedford Red £20
Leefer £10
Flash Heart £10
Chalkies Shorts £10
Posh Red £20
STFCINBMTH £20
Jutty £20.........but cant buy a round!....  Cunt.
Crystall tips £20
Gnasher £10
Notts Red £10
Otanswell £10
Sonicyouth £10
Huwwy £10
Shaw Rosso £10
Batch £10
RWB Robin £10
Whits £10
Victor Mildew £10
Sheepshagger £10
China Red £10
Donkey £10
Nemo £10
Joteddyred £10
Tails £10

I CAN DO BANK TRANSFER!!!!!

Please message me for details.......fuck me!!!!

Funds away..Should be in your Paypal account about ....now.

cheers everyone its coming in fast now!!

Due to being a cock I forgot to put donkey on mine.  Just sent it.  £10.

I'll PM you for your bank details tomorrow as I'm waiting for money to clear.

There you go

not a cock...donkey is in the email?

Sent

I will give you a tenner...will pay by PayPal - presume payment details are in this thread somewhere?

Same here

Right...

Its all coming in...

I will do a recount on Friday to see where we are.

if you need any details - message me.

We are there ...but i need a few more because no doubt there will be some no payer uppers!!

PS......Every tenner gets you an entry to the draw.

£20....2 tickets

Probably not a good idea to enter me in the draw!

Thanks Flash, money now sent.

who is Keith Kirk??  message me!

PLEASE...put your user name on paypal reference....

No capt Kirk jokes you cunts!

When you get the message, are you going to log it?

tee hee!

Paid :) Cheers

How many ears did Captain Kirk have?

3. His left ear, his right ear and his final front ear.

£20 sorted and paid :)

Tenner sent.

£10 paid via paypal.

I'm on hols will sort out on Friday when I'm back if thats ok.

If you PM me your bank details I will do a Bank Transfer rather than a cheque.

Cheers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3B4Lw7VM0g

Paid.

sent.

now fuck off flash

Mini Update:

PAYPAL only and NOT including Bannk transfers!

BATCH   £10
BATHTIME   £10
BEDFORD RED   £20
DONKEY   £10
DPORTER   £20
FLASH HEART   £10
HUWWY   £10
JOTEDDYRED   £10
NEMO   £10
NOCHEE   £10
NOTTS RED   £10
SAXONDALE   £10
SHAW ROSSO   £10
SHEEPSHAGGER   £10
SUMMEROF69   £10
THE FLASH   £20
WR5   £10

These are outstanding (although a couple might of paid by Transfer...:

ADJE   £10
ANTEATER   ?
BARRY SCOTT   £20
CHALKIES SHORTS   £10
CHINA RED   £10
CRYTALL TIPS   £20
GNASHER   £10
HERTHAB   £10
JAYOHAITCHENN   £10
JUTTY274   £20
LEEFER   £10
OTANSWELL   £10
POSH RED   £20
RWB ROBIN   £10
SAMDY   £20
SONICYOUTH   £10
STFCINBMTH   £10
TAILS   £10
TANS   £10
VICTOR MILDEW   £10
WHITS   £10
FOWEY   ?

If you know any of these 'outstanders' then please get in touch and tell em to pay asap.

I am quite pleased so far....with approx over £200 in already but i need this signed off by the end of next week!!!

Many thanks to all of you who have been in touch but i am disappointed at the lack of abuse.

You must try harder!

Flash.

Paid by transfer Flash. Did you not get my pm*?

*Edit: you cunt. :)

Read the post you fuckwit....not including bank transfers.

I will check that tomorrow morning.

Many thanks/

:D

its because im not with online banking....

Somehow missed this.  Do you need another £10, or is the kitty full?

Paid up with PayPal!

First come first in Ardiles...so you are very welcome.

How much would you like to pledge?

I will message you details.

Just £10, if that's OK.  I will make a bank transfer, so just sort code & account number needed.  Thanks.

Flash, I can't pay you till Monday.

done

no worries.

Anyone know who is still available and how much a player it is? (I only ask as my company may be interested)

Cheers

Flash, I PM'ed you asking for your bank details.

Sorted

You can have Barnard if you get in now

Sent by Paypal.

SORTED THANKS

Call Adam Wainwright at the Club.....hes da man!

Cheers Flash, will do!

Hopefully a better update today.

Done-Paypal

sorted thanks.

Been a bit slow today!!

Will get to Bank Monday to check out the transfers and then a big push to get the stragglers rounded up!

I have £230 in for sure.

Another £40-£50 in bank transfers that i need to check.

some cheques arriving.

Cmon people who havent paid please pull your fingers out!

You will have mine tomorrow you cunt!

Have just got home, will stick a cheque in the post, unless you would rather have a Bank Transfer.
Let me know

just paid, i think. I'm useless at this type of shit without a beer in me.

Done

Sent via Paypal.

Someone has posted a comment on Thisis saying that "Ritchie has gone, watch this space". I assume, if true, TEF will get a huge cut of the fee as he is 'our' player? :)

Flash dod you get my bank transfer

Cheers herthab...tenner pp

Cheers Tans...tenner pp

Cheers chalkies shorts.....tenner pp

Cheers adje...tenner pp...and yes I was!  Cartoons!

Will be checking the bank transfers Monday.

Then a recap to see where we are and another set of messages to be sent out ASAP to try and get this sorted by the end of play next weekend.

Thanks to all those who have coughed already......

Hurry up you cunts to all that haven't!

thought so-me too!

Have sent £20 via Bank Transfer

done - sorry for the delay!

Big update tomorrow at 11 ish.

Ok.

Checked with the bank:

I had a mini statement so the names are a bit sketchy and with the exception of Barry Scott it seems that nobody entered an entry narrative.

So....I need confirmation of who is who!

Tanzwell : £10
J Walsh : £10
Parkin RPG : £10
Samuel Lawrence : £20
Stephen Paul Powner : £20
J Kane : £10

Please message me.

I have a good idea about one or two but need confirmation so that it all sorted properly.

Money is in so we are getting there!

I did £20 mate - did you only get £10 ???

Ardiles, Samdy Gray, Barry Scott al identified.

Please confirm your name and i will sign it off.....message me...please...

I did put a reference in, but obviously it's not showing.

I didn't get the option to enter a name... I'm John Kane.

OK ladies...

this is the latest update:

PAID UP:

ADJE   £10
ARDILES   £10
BARRY SCOTT   £20
BATCH   £10
BATHTIME   £10
BEDFORD RED   £20
CHALKIES SHORTS   £10
DONKEY   £10
DPORTER   £20
FLASH HEART   £10
GNASHER   £10
HERTHAB   £10
HUWWY   £10
JOTEDDYRED   £10
NEMO   £10
NOCHEE   £10
NOTTS RED   £10
OTANSWELL   £10
RWB ROBIN   £10
SAMDY   £20
SAXONDALE   £10
SHAW ROSSO   £10
SHEEPSHAGGER   £10
STFCINBMTH   £10
SUMMEROF69   £10
TANS   £10
THE FLASH   £20
VICTOR MILDEW   £10
WHITS   £10
WR5   £10

GRAND TOTAL of in the bank of: £350 plus unidentified (see below) £40 of Bank Transfers equals £390 - In the Bank ready to go..... :D Well done all of you.......

OUTSTANDING:

ANTEATER   ?     - You never got back to me mate!!
CHINA RED   £10 - Just got back to Blighty ...will do asap.
CRYSTALL TIPS   £20 - Texted.....hurry up Anna!!  :cry:
FOWEY                  ?   - Lurker - never got back to me...
JAYOHAITCHENN   £10 - Possible Bank Transfer - Please confirm ID
JUTTY274   £20 - Hurry up you fat ugly cunt!!!
LEEFER                 £10 - Pledges to be paid by Weds.
POSH RED   £20 - Possible bank Transfer - please confirm ID
SONICYOUTH   £10 - Possible Bank Transfer - please confirm ID
TAILS                 £10 - All quiet on the Tails front!!??

PLEASE NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have managed to identify some doners through messages sent, however...

I need to identify: :hmmm:

J Walsh £10
Stephen Paul Powner or Powney (bank statement cuts it off) £20
J Kane £10

As stated before i am going on holiday and need to get this sorted by Friday....IE cheque sent to the club, done and dusted...

So:

We have £390 banked

£110 outstanding (minus £40 unidentified Doners) is £70..

So we are looking at £460 and we need £450.

As i have said before its very much first to cough up is in the mix...so if you have been lurking and fancy it message me.

Overall i'm very pleased with how this has come together!!! :clap:

sorted!! thanks..

You can update your massive post then you cunt.

Sonic is J Walsh.

pm'd

Superb...

Sonic Youth and Jayoheaditcchinabit have been identified.

It seems that the Bank Statement i got didnt have the full info on it.

Still need to ID Stephen Paul Powner (y)...Posh red?

:)

Yep, That's me

Ok it just gets better and better.

Posh Red identified.

Jutty coughs up after i send the boys round (rent boys).

So:

ANTEATER   ?     - Could be picking up some dosh on Thursday.
CHINA RED   £10 - Just got back to Blighty ...will do asap.
CRYSTALL TIPS   £20 - Texted...Again...no reply...silent treatment!!  hurry up Anna!! 
FOWEY                  ?   - Lurker - never got back to me...
LEEFER                 £10 - Pledges to be paid by Weds.
TAILS                 £10 - All quiet on the Tails front!!??

They couldn't do anything as the flash had wore them out before they come round.

Happy to add £10 or £20 if that will help bring this thread to an end?

If so, let me know what required and give me the bank details and I'll sort tonight but please, no rent boys.

Fowey posted 5 times in May and never again.

I have messaged you.

With rag rag whacking 20 quid from out the blue......weare almost there!

Paid today bud....sorry for the delay.

Can you comfirm you recieved it?

All in.....

I will do a few sums tomorrow....but I reckon we are there.

Good job. I take it there are players left to sponsor?  ;)

 Who cares....I got the dough in for ours!

Sweet!

OK Ladies!!

All sorted.

Cheque paid into the club today.

I will do the draw on my return from holiday...as the sooner people apply for tickets the better.

ALSO....I need a logo to be sent to the club to be added in the programme. I have already been told that 'bollocks'will not be allowed!!  Any body help with this then message me.

And...oh yeah...

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED...

Sweet!!!!

Considering its football change it to "balls"

25% FOOTBALL, 80% CENSORED.

25%FOOTBALL 80%HAND BAGS AT 5 PACES AND GAYNESS

25% football 80% Questions...... 70% from 4D.  :)

25% football 80% spaziness

Thetownend.com - "We really wanted Paolo's scarf"

This

Well you can do it next year you cunt.

Probably end up with Jockonorys Mug....prick!

I have mailed a 'clean' version of the logo to the Town.

See it in the match day programme...or not , as i don't buy em.

Thanks again to everyone apart from the 'we should of had the scarf'  ....then again even then you coughed up....so thanks.

Jutty is still a cock though...cant wait to break his nose again.

Draw will be done when i get back of hols next week.

Samdy......when are you free for draw?

It will be prepared. I will walk in...draw and walk out.

Why do I have to witness it?! I'm sure you can be trusted to do it yourself.

I always thought our logo should be

The Townend.com
8 out of 10 users dont have a girlfriend.

OK Samdy has entrusted me to do the draw.

He didn't want some fat ugly cunt bowling into the office with a big bran tub.

I will be doing it on my return.....live.

Who will win..???? Well it's a lottery but it ain't looking too good for Jutty.

I saw our logo in the programme last night.

Well done everyone!

Draw?

Yeah satisfying knowing we are playing our part  :)

Won 3-0

Dean your hilarity never fails to make me chuckle

Draw will be Friday.

Liar.

To the point as usual!

I did the draw on friday but chose not to publish

OK bellends.....heres the draw:

We are drawing for:

•Two passes to the Sponsor’s Suite for a League One home fixture (subject to availability).
•A signed shirt from your sponsored player, to be presented at the Sponsors dinner.
•Two complimentary tickets to the Sponsors dinner.  At this event you will spend the evening with your sponsored player with photograph opportunities (THE FLASH GETS THIS!!! X)
•Two Complimentary Main Stand tickets to a Coca Cola home League One game
•Acknowledgement of your shirt sponsorship on the shirt sponsors page in the Match Day Magazine for all home games (WE ALL WWIN!!! HOORAH!!).

Each £10 donated counts as an entry.....I have pulled out as i got a prize anyway for organising it and winning again would take the piss.

Heres the numbers in the hat (electronic draw thingy)...

1   ADJE
2   ARDILES
3 and 4   BARRY SCOTT
5   BATCH
6   BATHTIME
7 and 8   BEDFORD RED
9   CHALKIES SHORTS
10   CHINA RED
11 and 12   CRYSTALL TIPS
13   DONKEY
14 and 15   DPORTER
16   FLASH HEART
17   GNASHER
18   HERTHAB
19   HUWWY
20   JAYOHAITCHENN
21   JOTEDDYRED
22 and 23   JUTTY274 (NO CHANCE)
24   LEEFER
25   NEMO
26   NOCHEE
27   NOTTS RED
28   OTANSWELL
29 and 30   POSH RED
31   RWB ROBIN
32 and 33   SAMDY
34   SAXONDALE
35   SHAW ROSSO
36   SHEEPSHAGGER
37   SONICYOUTH
38   STFCINBMTH
39   SUMMEROF69
40   TANS
   THE FLASH
41   VICTOR MILDEW
42   WHITS
43   WR5
44 and 45   REDRAG

Two passes to the Sponsor’s Suite for a League One home fixture (subject to availability).

37

SONIC YOUTH !!!

A signed shirt from your sponsored player, to be presented at the Sponsors dinner.

9

CHALKIES SHORTS !!!!

Two Complimentary Main Stand tickets to a Coca Cola home League One game

17

GNASHER !!!!!!

This completes the third round draw for the FA Cup sponsored by Sheena Easton.

Would all winners please message me to ensure you get the games you want etc etc....

Well done everyone....THE FLASH :)

 Well done to all the winners and thanks to the Flash for organising :clap:

Fix.

First time I've ever won anything. I'm quite emotional  :cry:

Congrats guys :)

Nice one THe FLASH, I'm sure my daughter will be pleased.

oh bollocks!

I fucking knew it!!!! :)

Of course you fucking knew, you were the one doing the fixing!

Oh yeah...

Guess he picked the wrong time to emigrate to Norway!

Anyway, I'd like to say well done to the winners. Actually that's a lie. I hate every one of you.

(Thanks for sorting this Flash).

Sonic says I can have the tickets due to my tireless efforts......sweet

Fuck no you don't.

I'm calling shenanigans.

Chalkies shorts has decided to give me the shirt....no space or something....nice chap

You can arm wrestle my daughter for it - she'd win.

Hands down......oh look I made a joke....

The legend that is Sonic youth has had to decline his prize of:

'Two passes to the Sponsor’s Suite for a League One home fixture (subject to availability).'

He has asked me to draw again.....so I will sort and post in a minute.

And the winner is Chopsy cunt Herthab.....who's laughing now?

Let me know what game you want....book early and all that!

Bollocks-that's my last chance of actually getting to a game this season!

Well done Herthab  :cry: