jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #375 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 14:18:11 » |
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A report out today says that 40% of men over 40 have diffulcty getting an erection.
Looking at 40% of women over 40 it's not difficult to see why.
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london_red
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Posts: 2142
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« Reply #376 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 14:24:02 » |
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I was puffing on a cigarette in a club last night, when the bouncer approached me and said, "do you know you're smoking?"
"Sorry mate," I replied, "I don't swing that way."
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Notts red
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Posts: 3146
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« Reply #377 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 16:20:14 » |
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Went round a friends house today, his wife was there with their new born baby. She ask me if I wanted to wind it but I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead  |
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Notts red
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Posts: 3146
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« Reply #378 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 21:31:19 » |
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My new girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she isn't exactly my girlfriend yet.
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donkey
Cheers!
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Posts: 7038
He headed a football.
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« Reply #379 on: Saturday, November 26, 2011, 11:21:58 » |
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Good grief
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donkey tells the truth
I headed the ball. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaawwwwwww |
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Honky McCracker
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Posts: 89
can I see your socks
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« Reply #380 on: Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 12:24:10 » |
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My friend told me he had heard of a new condom made from bubble wrap was being invented. Turns out it was a load of poppy cock.
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Can I see ya socks?
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Don Rogers moustache
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Posts: 153
I bleed Red
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« Reply #381 on: Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 12:57:33 » |
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I phoned the police the other day"Whats your emergency?" they asked.
I said,"2 girls are fighting over me.""OK",she paused,"Well what's the problem?""The fat one's winning,"
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There is a forgotten, well almost a forbidden word, which means more to me than any other.
That word is ENGLAND!!!
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dell returns
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« Reply #382 on: Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 13:12:17 » |
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I felt a bit down at work today, so for a laugh I 'dipped my Asian workmate in Bleach' to be fair that 'Brightened Mamood'.
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london_red
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Posts: 2142
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« Reply #383 on: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 12:36:51 » |
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The jubilant crowd inside the City of Manchester Stadium went eerily quiet last night after news of Napoli’s goals came through. If only the Bayern fans inside the ground had a word for the joy they felt at City’s misfortune.
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #384 on: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 12:54:42 » |
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Go on then, I'll put my hand up and be thick. I don't get it?
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Baggins
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Posts: 600
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« Reply #385 on: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 12:55:34 » |
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My friend told me he had heard of a new condom made from bubble wrap was being invented. Turns out it was a load of poppy cock.
That's superb. |
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Notts red
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Posts: 3146
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« Reply #387 on: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 12:59:25 » |
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A new fragrance has been launched exclusively in Manchester this morning, it's called: Channel no. 5
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Victor Mildew
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Posts: 176
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« Reply #388 on: Thursday, December 8, 2011, 17:37:46 » |
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i've just seen the new calender for *xford united F.C....It's quite explicit.There is a cunt on every month
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london_red
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Posts: 2142
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« Reply #389 on: Friday, December 9, 2011, 15:20:33 » |
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The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.
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