Simon Pieman
Original Wanker
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Posts: 36319
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« Reply #735 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 13:33:52 » |
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. No idea what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
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Mother Brown
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Posts: 1372
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« Reply #736 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:26:02 » |
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Did you hear the one about the Dutchman, that used to wear inflatable shoes. He popped his clogs.
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Kinky Tom
Snow Master Sandwich King.
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Posts: 8889
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« Reply #737 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:33:51 » |
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Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
He's married
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #738 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 20:05:13 » |
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Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
He's married
I laughed like a drain, the wife glared at me when i told her
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59493
Things can only get better
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« Reply #739 on: Tuesday, September 27, 2016, 14:30:53 » |
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If 666 is considered as the evil number....
Then technically 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Nomoreheroes
The Moral Majority
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Posts: 14666
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« Reply #740 on: Thursday, October 6, 2016, 20:53:01 » |
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There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
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You're my incurable malady. I miss the pleasure of your company.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Things can only get better
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« Reply #741 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 08:56:52 » |
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This evil clown thing in Newcastle has got out of hand. I even saw one handing out burgers to young children.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Red Frog
Not a Dave
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Posts: 9047
Pondlife
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« Reply #742 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 09:10:13 » |
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A Roman walks into a bar. Barman says "Ave".
Roman holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please."
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sūr ą propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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« Reply #743 on: Friday, October 14, 2016, 09:24:05 » |
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The popularity of origami has increased tenfold.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #744 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:10:53 » |
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NSFW really...
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Ginginho
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Posts: 6866
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« Reply #745 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:13:44 » |
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Haha, ace
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #746 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:19:27 » |
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My missus is pissed off with me again.
Last night while she was fast asleep, I gently removed her Tampax and replaced it with a party popper leaving the string hanging out.
I'm telling you! That woman's got no fucking sense of humour at all
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Panda Paws
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« Reply #747 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:28:17 » |
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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.
A hipster wouldn't be seen dead ordering a cappuccino.
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #748 on: Sunday, October 30, 2016, 19:54:41 » |
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What's the wettest thing in the world?
Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59493
Things can only get better
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« Reply #749 on: Monday, October 31, 2016, 15:43:19 » |
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What's the wettest thing in the world?
Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
I just can't see that......trouble is neither can he
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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