Thetownend.com

Potty-mouthed paranoid Ironside has spoken about his addiction to racism. Speaking exclusively to The Daily TE, the foreigner hating baffoon recalled how his addiction started and then spiralled out of control.

'It all started as a bit of fun. A couple of lines of Jim Davidson before a night out, I thought I could handle it. Things got a bit more serious when I dropped a couple of Stan Boardmans at a club, I spent the next 8 hours really hating them Geeeermans.'

It wasn't long before the right wing nutjob was experimenting with harder stuff. 'I remember once when my regular dealer got busted and I couldn't get any Bernard Manning. I eventually managed to score off a bloke in a pub but it turned out to be some bad gear that was going around that had been cut with some Richard Littlejohn. That's when the paranoia really set in, before I knew what was going on I was off my face every day on The Daily Mail. I was even doing the supplement of The Mail on Sunday!'

In part 2 of this exclusive interview Ironside tells how he attempted to invade Poland after drinking 3 bottles of Paul Daniels.

:blahblahblah:

Whatever.

You're fucking boring Spacey.

Worn out record springs to mind.

Been drinking again?

Fuck off Alan.

I liked it Spacey.

 :D

How dare I criticise Spacey.

You are all a bunch of sheep.

Let us hail him him for being inventive, alternative and funny.

Yeah right.

He's just a bloke like the rest of us. I can disagree with him, that's my prerogative. Just like you all do with anybody who doesn't tow the Consortium line.

And I'm not drunk either.

it made i larf. sehr gut

If you dont like it dont fucking read it.

Spacey is great 8)

oooooo it's just like Big Brother.........

I thought it was funny, FWIW  :wink:

Whatever.

Marry him then Jamie.

I think he is a grade A cunt.

yeah but how do you know if you don't like it without reading it?

Your thoughts are not welcome.

Marry him...

*goes down on one knee*

Its a valid point.

 You're just jealous because your a shit cunt that wears denim all over. All the fashionable people love me. You still haven't recovered from me saying you looked like a serial killer going through a mid life crisis.

Is Alan on a wind up?

nah he hates Spacey which isnt very Loud and Proud if you ask me  :mrgreen:

No, he's like this every Friday & Saturday night  :|

on the plus side, i've got two free tickets to see sonic youth.

really? how come.

he gave me the tickets and refuses to take my money

How upsetting! I'm sure I've told you on numerous occassions how brilliant that I think Al is. He's a real asset to The Trust and it's members. He's not in any way an egotistical cumwipe who dodges questions that he doesn't like.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
ace thread.

Alan, stop being a tit. Spacey, carry on being funny. Ironside, just stop.

I wish I was as clever and edgy as Alan, but I also found it funny.

:D  :D  lots of love on here. Ironside has not even commented yet either

I like Spacey and I think he his funny

the thing is, love him or hate him,his posts are a good read.
and i love the way alan goes off his head sometimes too.
good work fellas! :D

You're all a bunch of sheep! To be an individual you have to agree with Al.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o140/thefoamyone/Misc-Grr_Sheep.jpg

Should we change your username to Shepherd?

Maybe do a deed poll job and get Andy Tuck to change his name to Fred Elliot.

That's a top picture - angry sheep! Militant angry sheep of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your jumpers!

This is a great read.  Al does make me laugh when he starts abusing people.

I think spacey should ram his camera up als arse!

This thread made me chuckle.  I do like it when Al decides to engage his Militant Drive.  It's a bit like the improbability drive but a little stranger.

I find him offensive

Who Spacey or Al?

Both

Alan responsible for us not having a ground and a Club now. He's like another Mikey D. It's just struck him, he's killed us and now he's on the rampage.


 :fishing:

Do I offend you?

just a little bit

ace about time someone rounded on that spacey cunt.

:D

Quality....  I miss Ironside, he needs to post more....  Sparks a healthy debate!!   :D   What was his usename on thisis again?

Supersonic needs to come back too...   :(

er.ironside

maybe walrus is thinking of "its love" or whatever he was called. Wasn't he a big racist? I used to only read in those days, and my memory doesn't work very well anyway.

thats cause you are a mashed up kind of dude.



ooops so is walrus 8)

i was once.you grow out of it.well in most cases anyway :mrgreen:

They're selling big giant 1.5litre bottles of wine in tescos for a fiver at the moment. I've got a bit of growing before they become small...

I was just fishing for respect from the big remaining posting people by being old school.

No... wasn't Ironside someone else before he was Ironside?  Or did I dream all that?

It's Love... that brings back memories.   :|

He was Columbus

haha I mean Columbo

Thank fuck for that... the day I start dreaming about tef is the day I go outside and shoot myself...

I dream of you Walrussy.

i dream of anna friel

he was also kojak

bit old

How about a hug?

http://www.halloweencostumesonline.com/Merchant2/images/Walrus-37322.jpg

yeah that kojak is :wink:
infact aint he dead?

Dear Al,

What went wrong with me and you? It was only a couple of months ago that you described one of my posts as 'Brilliant'.

http://www.thetownend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20004&highlight=
 
You rofled your little socks off. Now you think I'm 'fucking boring' (I was voted most entertaining employee at Andy's records 2 years running! I got a trophy made out of blu tac....so eeeerrr answer that and stay fashionable) and a 'Grade A cunt' (Yeah, fair comment) Have you taken something personally? Was it the Private messages we exchanged......



 









 

Okay, okay, I made that up but you know what I'm talking about. I lost the original text because my inbox is so full of messages from people telling me how inventive, alternative and funny I am. I've asked questions of various Trust board members and to their credit they've been open and honest in their response. You chose to bullshit and dodge, that's fine. I respected your right to refuse to answer me and moved on, I didn't realise that a simmering resentment would eventually come to the fore.

Anyway you think I'm a cunt and I think you're a cunt, let's both move on with a mutual hatred for each other. Not for me and not for you but for the children.

Regards
Spacey


PS

I've drawn you a diagram that you might find useful


Forum land<------------------------------------------------------------>Reality

Spacey in light of that post I am going to give up reading the daily mail, a truely great post

hahahahahahahahahaha

I've been away for a few days. Nice to come back and see it's business as usual on here  :thumbs:

 :D

kojak
columbo?
ironside ...

what next?

Defo not Shaft :wink:

How about Morse or Miss Marple?

poirot?

Jessica Fletcher

Surely not as he's a frog (well Belgian)?!

That was mildly amusing!

What an entertaining thread!!  I thought Spacey's recent posts have been top class btw.


Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Once again we are in agreement McSporran 8)

Shear class

Ewe better believe it!  :mrgreen:

I too found this thread highly amusing,more so because of Alan drunken rage though  :D

Just goes to show drunken posts are not a good idea :wink:

I don't think he was drunk Larwood.

But he said he wasn't drunk! That Al, he's such fibbing prankster cunt.

I'd never post on here drunk. That'd be stupid.

I doubt he was drunk, but I did detect a hint of :fishing:  due to the sentence about people having a go at anyone not pro consortium.

Still, all's fair in love and forums.

You see that's my point Spacey.

You can be as offensive and nasty and horrible to anybody you choose and wrap it up in a "gosh that Spacey is such a funny guy" post. Everybody finds you amusing, don't they?

Personally I really don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me - yeah I'm too old to care any more. Seriously. So continue to ridicule me, call me old, a bad dresser, stupid, weird, fucked up, balding, wrinkly, a child molester, of obsolete music taste or mind or whatever you feel that will get a laugh from your peers. I'm sure they will join in with you.

You seriously do have a psychological problem. One day you will stick you funny old joking knife into somebody who will do the same back to you in a physical sense.

Best wishes and kisses.

Oh for fucks sake Alan, this thread is so yesterday. I think you might be taking everything to seriously.

I agree,Im horrid to you sometimes but you never react this way to me :?

That was a bit harsh, but it's the best thing about the Tef. The ability to take the piss out of it's self. If that means caricatures of some posters then ace. Just be man enough to take it and not be a denim wearing whiney perv.

Sometimes you have to Ben.

Um, Forumland <-> Reality

To quote somebody else.

You have to take a view on people's feelings sometimes and not just hide behind a "it's not real" veneer.

You can say things in jest face to face and also online. But not all things translate very well on the Internet.

who are you quoting?

and why are you up a 2.50am?

*** Shrug ***

QED

So I'm typecast then. Thanks a load. That's how everybody will now view me. Forget everything else I have ever done in my life for anybody else, my family or others.

From this day forth when people meet me in reality I have to overcome this bullshit image that has been laid upon me.

That's just not fair.

Spacey.

Real life isn't that different from the townend. Someone has a go at you, you either take it as good fun, stand up for yourself and argue back, or take the hit and get on with your life - lesson learnt. Whining about it like a living cat abortion pussy doesn't help. Ever.

I still like you in real life though. And good god  I've posted some shit in my time on the tef. I don't moan when people have a go though.

I did a 14 hour day, starting at 8:00am yesterday. So I get to sleep in until midday.

Are you ignoring me?

I think you started this you know.

 :D

Thanks love.

But hey, some people DO mind.

What I am aiming at is that you can't treat everybody the same and that is why forums are shit. You have no feedback about how people feel about your responses. You can't see their faces or look in their eyes.

So you can't just be blanket obnoxious to all and sundry.

As I said, I don't care what anybody says about me, I just feel for the people who MIGHT. And that is why Spacey fucks me off.

Bollocks. If you've got enough personality then it won't matter either way. For example, I like DV in real life, but when he's posting on here he can be a bit repetitive and boring. On the reverse, I always feel I've got something to live up to when I meet people for the first time in real life, luckily I'm charismatic and brilliant, so it never ends up a problem.

But seriously, your forum stereotype will never affect how people see you as a person. Unless you have no personality, and I know that's not true in your case.

Stop throwing a little girly fit about the whole thing

The original post was a tongue in cheek piece about Ironside but you "waded in" giving him grief.I really dont understand your problem.

Still onwards abnd upwards.

Ben, seriously I'm not.

You are full of Internet and forum confidence and charisma, obviously.

I'm full of confidence and don't give a fuck about personal charisma.

But if somebody (even as a ha ha laugh) likens me to Hannibal Lecter, what will other people who have never met me think?

So ok, that's a stupid example (and a more stupid quote from Spacey in the first place). But I have had insinuations on forums that I sexually interfere with my children. Do you know how that makes me feel? Can you even comprehend what that does to a father? And by the way - don't even joke about this comment, because if you do I WILL find you and I WILL kill you.

So it's not a misplaced "girlie" fit. Some people have sensitivities and you might consider them fair game. But to the people who want to post because they like the community might not want to be hunted.

So now it's internet macho man? Nobody's threatened your children, nobodies seriously suggested that you would. I still keep to the statement that I like you in real life, because, well, I do. But seriously you seem to have a problem with internet socialisation.

Threatening me is laughable. If the last paragraph has offended you then go for it.



I don't hunt people, not really. I'll question them if they're throwing "girlie" fits though.

Not on this forum, Ben. But it has happened on others and it made me sick.


Er, no?


Er no?


I'm sorry I "talk too much" Ben. You can take the piss as well and as effectively as everybody else. I was just expressing an opinion.

I guess I won't bother any more because I don't fit in with the in crowd.

See ya.

Well then fuck off and go and sulk in a corner then. In crowd my arse.

Stop looking for attention Alan. Get it for legitimate reasons, Photoshop Diamandis's head onto a circus performer, that didn't work as well as I'd hoped, but at least it wasn't whining.

If you really think that this is important enough to fuck off about, then goodbye. I'm sure you owe me a pint in the County next season.

Sorry I couldn't help having the last word, a proper one.


er... yes


Just don't go making stupid internet threats. Internet threats are fucking stupid. And It's got me tempted to call you all sorts of things just to see what you'd do




Yes I can take the piss, but that's all it is.

:shock:

I thought someone said Alan only threw wobbleys on Fri and Sats?

who wants a hug?

Bleeding hell.....some people take this forum way, way, way, way, way, way too seriously.

If I ever met any of you bums (Alan included :shock: ) I wouldn't give a second's thought to anything you had posted or that some one had posted about you.

We would drink beer and have a laugh and everything would be lovely. That's what the real world is like.

Agreed OST. Some people really get on my tits on forums, (They're not actually breasts, just a build up of chest muscle)  but it's not real!
People are so different in real life. Before I met Fred, I imagined him to be an alcohol raddled middle aged man, with a penchant for hugging..........Ok, maybe that's a bad example. Before I met Gazza, I thought he was an overweight young bloke with a Walter Mitty style belief in his knowledge of everything related to STFC.............Ok, another bad example.........................

What was my point?

Oh and Alan, you do wear a lot of denim
 :D

haha. this threads ace. some people take things far too seriosly

Fucking hell, it all went off a bit last night!  :o

Soppy cunts.

Alan may wear it, but does he splash it on as well?

http://mall.coimbatore.com/denim/denim.jpg

:shrug:  bit of carnage i see last night

I think you lot are over reacting now :D

fucking bully

Heh heh

Not guilty :D

I'm going to Kill you Yeovil  :x  :x  :x I will hunt you down! :x

What's your address mate?

fucking hell :shock:
flammable and alan having a barney aint what i expected to read.

Haha! Alan the great crusader for peoples feelings! Do me a fucking favour! This has got fuck all to do with other people, it's all about you. I love the way you chose this thread to throw a strop, were you worried I might have hurt Ironside's feelings? Yeah, he's always struck me as a sensitive type. I've met plenty of people off here and not one has ever done anything but laugh and have a joke about it, and believe me I've taken the piss out of loads on here. Christ, even Fatbury had a laugh with me and I accused him of murdering STFC Lady, wrapping her corpse in a rolled up carpet and dumping her body in a layby on the M6.



I thought you didn't care what people think of you? Is that why you highlighted the Hannibal Lecter, Shakin Stevens thing a couple of times? Are you worried that people who have never met you might think you're a serial killer with a soft spot for 50's rock 'n' roll?



So you're saying someone might stab me because I made a joke about them on an internet forum? And you're saying I've got psychological problems? Okaaaaaaaay.

You don't need me to make you look stupid, Al. I'm sure all those people who haven't met you must think you're a really swell guy.

or me. I think I had to much to drink.

i've never met any of you,and alan seems alright to me.
anyone that casts judgements on somebody due to comments on a forum is a bit daft really.but we are all guilty of it to a point me thinks

i wouldn't judge anyone on silly points or piss taking on an internet forum, but i will learn something about someone from their reaction to it, at least until i met them in person.

I'm not sure I get all your judging comments. Did I win?

I've met Alan once and would you believe it he shook my hand and laughed about something I'd written about him. That was on the train going to Rovers away, not that long ago was it.....what could have happened since then that's upset Alan so? I wonder......

not a competition ben,but alan clearly lost the plot a bit.he overeracted but so what.loads have done so on here before,and will in the future

trophy's in the post.

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u294/tans2007/160131182761_1.jpg

I'm no judge either Ben, but yes you did win, by a long shot.  Well done fella.

alans a passionate guy who is prone to the odd rant,and has an eye for the ladies.but his heart and intentions seem genuine and comes across as  a nice fella.

thats my judgement of him from forum posts.spacey is a piss taker and a funny one too boot(again from posts on here)

to be fair alan does do a lot for people on here such as organising the minibuses and stuff and is entitled to the odd rant,

however spacey is funny a fuck and even im saying that having been the brunt of some his posts, its only a forum why get so het up about it??  8)

never let it be said that this forum isn't a democracy!

YAY

Thankyou !

:old:  A good old moan always does the trick eh Fred?!  :D

too true R4E

 :D

Seems i missed the fun between pages 5 and 9...

I wonder when someone gives me the kicking i deserve for things i've said now... Bart?

I'm going to become a happy clappy twat now, shut my fat arsehole mouth and use loads of smiley smileys. Especially that little soapy tit wank fucker. Never had a go on that slag.

Meh.

:soapy tit wank:  :soapy tit wank:  :soapy tit wank:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:

pages 5+ are ace. It's when I risk my life to become a crusader for internet forum freedom. A sort of cross between The Doctor, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, President J. F. Kennedy, Harold Bishop, Jesus and a little bit of Lenin. Go me.

i went to bed just before it kicked off, what shitty luck.

this bit just made me laugh, alot.... :|

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :soapy tit wank:  :soapy tit wank:  :soapy tit wank:

I witnessed it all...and kept quite...it neared carnage. :shock:

Fuck of the lot of ya and stop taking yourselves so fucking seriously, fuck me, in a few weeks time we will all be huggin' and kissin each other in the cgh or the merlin for fucks sake.
Spacey...i love your humour.
Allan...water of a ducks back big man.
Ben.....The moment i saw you i swear......... :P

 :wink:
Millom

are you calling Alan a big giant man-duck? I wish people would stop ganging up on him, it's not clever or funny.

Interesting, we seem to have come back to lovey lovey world.  it would be odd if every 1000+ member on here actually did like everyone else, it would certainly go against all natural laws.

I think we should encourage this open hostility, have some more of it, so we can see who likes who and who is out to shaft each other.

Didn;t Alan and Reg once spar off as well?  If he still posted as he used to, then I think Ben Wah Balls would be next on the hit list.  As it is, it could be anyone.

Fuck off you twat :wink:

actually thinking about it, couldn't this become a pre arranged event.  one fight per week?  Ok, it might be a bit manufactured like boxing is, but for every Bruno vs Tyson we'd have to put up with we might get another Holmes vs Spinks, or Benn vs Watson.

Imagine Alan vs Fred, or Spacey vs Ben, or Sonic vs himself.

We could include a couple of lesser names on the card each week as well, as a sort of warm up.

Mild, mild sir.  I used to use Twat so liberally that I didn't realise how offensive it was to some people, especially up North for some reason.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a pacafist.  I can just be the ref, or announcer.

Just because you're a pacifist doesn't mean we can't hit you!  :wink:

I think alcohol plays a large part in forum abuse.

I learnt quite early on not to post on a saturday night, after a the pub, as I spouted off a bit too much :D

Mind you, it was fun :D

I'm sure they haven't finished with me yet. :cry:

Squaring up to people on Tinternets great.

Off the top of my head we've had

Me v Fred

Alan v Hethab

Alan v Spacey

All old enough to know better :mrgreen:

:mrgreen:

i had a run in with swindontownfc.

i'll take anyone

Ooooooeeeooooo! get you Mr La di da Trust board big man! Just cos your old man's got a big moustache it don't make you a fucking Mexican!

Still fishing then Spacey!

dont bother me,

thing is i know where the cunt lives.

Please don't stab me!

you knew the risks. Alan warned you!

i think talktalk is mentally unstable

i think you've confused talktalk with Millom. He's the mental one.

you're all fucking mental

Yep..............and fucking proud of it

I used to enjoy arguements on the old thisis.

I think I've had ar un in with just about everybody form there at some point or another, but then I am an arguementative cunt........ 8)

No you're not

just a cunt will be suffice

Bump.

Fucking genius stuff on here. I vote we bring alan back for a rematch and then all gang up on him :)

He is back on and calling Spacey a cunt in another thread,unless its someone pretending.

Wasn't Alan the Liberal Democrat councillor or was that someone else?

You're all cunts btw....

[url width=375 height=300]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/2hats/alan2.jpg[/url]

that is the single most funny thing i have seen in years.

that is brilliant!

That'll end being my fault that BWB did that! It'll be my liver he eats with some Chianti, not yours. Please can you take the piss responsibly, please!

no I dont think hes a Liberal

Maverick was the liberal was he not? What happened to him?

I think you are a bully Spacey! Leave poor Alan alone!

Some would say that you are just a cunt!

Great thread though, fair play!  I salute you!

Nah, he was an independent, hence the name "Maverick". Still see him at games, usually stops for a chat.

So who was LibDem from over on Thisis?
Used to do some work for the matchday programme?

I would like to congratulate Paul on his 5,000th post.  (And Ironside also, for being the inspiration for at least 500 of those posts.)

I just spat tea all over my monitor!

Fuck, 5000 that's deeply sad, although not as sad as sonic or DV. But then who is? And I'd question your use of the word "inspiration" :)

i've got less than 200 posts, i have no idea what you mean?

Hmm, reading back through that I want to claim all loyalties gleemed from the TEF Fight Club bouts.