Home
Forum
Arcade
Prediction League
Search
Login
Register
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
Login with username, password and session length
Thetownend.com
>
Forum
>
80%
>
The Nevillew General Discussion Forum
> Topic:
Maintenance men
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Maintenance men (Read 504 times)
jim
Offline
Posts: 758
Maintenance men
«
on:
Friday, March 25, 2005, 11:52:34 »
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and
the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Logged
walrus
Offline
Posts: 4228
Maintenance men
«
Reply #1 on:
Friday, March 25, 2005, 12:28:13 »
:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick That's quality, particularly like: "evidence removed"...
Logged
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
Thetownend.com
>
Forum
>
80%
>
The Nevillew General Discussion Forum
> Topic:
Maintenance men
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
The Loathed Strangers
-----------------------------
=> Podcasts
-----------------------------
25%
-----------------------------
=> The Reg Smeeton Match Day Action/Reaction Forum
=> UEFA EURO 2021
=> Prediction League
=> News
=> Players
===> Player Sponsorship
=> The Boardroom
=> Away Days with Whits on Tour
=> Other Football Stuff
-----------------------------
80%
-----------------------------
=> The Nevillew General Discussion Forum
=> Computer & Technology
=> The Arcade
=> Sports
=> The 4D Q&A forum
-----------------------------
Classifieds
-----------------------------
=> For sale
=> Jobs
-----------------------------
thetownend.com
-----------------------------
=> thetownend.com
-----------------------------
The Archive
-----------------------------
=> Classic TEF (80%)
=> Euro Stunners 2016
=> WORLD CUP STUNNERS 2014
=> World Cup 2014
=> Euro 2012
=> London 2012 Olympics
=> Cheltenham Festival