Crouch's debut...

[land_of_bo]

  I like his tallness - he looks like he could look after you

What, like changing light bulbs and putting you on his shoulders at gigs?

[Luci]

Getting things out of the loft without a step ladder!

[nevillew]

Getting things out of the loft without a step ladder!

I've got a step ladder, my real ladder left home when I was young.

[land_of_bo]

I've got a step ladder, my real ladder left home when I was young.

Has your real ladder ever rung to say how it is?

[flammableBen]

Did your real ladder abuse you?

[nevillew]

Has your real ladder ever rung to say how it is?

*applause*     On fire today sir !

[nevillew]

Did your real ladder abuse you?

No, kept trying to lead me into a deserted attic though.

[Jamiesfuturewife]

Other freakishly tall people I find attractive include Steve Mildenhall and Calvin Harris

[Hatch]

Other freakishly ball people I find attractive include Steve Mildenhall

[Samdy Gray]

Even Malpas is in on the "he's got a great touch for a big man" bandwaggon.   

MAURICE Malpas knows his defenders face a tall order in keeping Peter Crouch quiet tonight, but the Town boss has warned the giant England striker not to expect an easy ride on his second Portsmouth debut.

Crouch, pictured left, is expected to play 45 minutes at the County Ground following his summer switch from Liverpool, and his presence is sure to put a few extra bums on seats.

Having wrestled with the likes of former Chelsea marksman Mateja Kezman on the pre-season tour to Austria, the Town defenders would appear well equipped to cope, but Malpas, pictured right, insists Crouch is a different prospect altogether.

He said: "I have come across Peter before when I was at Motherwell and we played against Southampton in a friendly match.

"In the first half he was absolutely anonymous, but in the second half he destroyed us.

"He's a big target man, but people forget what a good touch he has.

advertisement"I hope that whatever tactics we do employ against him, our centre halves do it well enough to stop him scoring.

"They will have done their job well if we keep a clean sheet.

"It will be good for my players to compete against Peter, Crouch but it will also be a tough test for him to handle my two central defenders, whoever I pick."

Portsmouth will be without Niko Kranjcar, John Utaka, Kanu and Lassana Diarra for the trip to Wiltshire, while Glen Johnson and Hermann Hreidarsson are both injury doubts.

But with David James, Jermaine Defoe, Sulley Muntari and Sylvain Distan all likely to feature, Malpas says the players and the supporters should be rubbing their hands in anticipation.

"Whoever steps onto the pitch will be desperate to do well, and that's the way it should be," said Malpas.

"It's definitely the game to get the juices flowing if you are a player.

"Portsmouth have some big names in their squad, but we have to forget about that and concentrate on Swindon Town."

Crouch meanwhile is relishing the prospect of pulling on the Pompey blue for the second time in his career following his switch from Anfield to Fratton Park.

He said: "For me personally, it will be great to play for Portsmouth again. They have fantastic fans and you see that throughout.

"When we played in Hong Kong last year there were more Portsmouth fans than Liverpool fans out there. They take a great following.

"They are extremely loud and support their team until the end so I'm looking forward to playing in front of them."

[Arriba]

he has though sam.

[yeo]

Yep he has.

[flammableBen]

I'd let him touch me.

[tans]

I dont see what the great love for him was all about last night.

Its not as if he was the only england player on the pitch was it?

Special mention goes to the kid in front of me, supporting Portsmouth and wearing a Man U top. 

[DiV]

Indeed, Sol Campbell although past his peak now is still a class defender and has been for many many years and what hes won and acheived in the game dwarfs Peter Crouch.