Thetownend.com

Has this been done before? I'd like to throw O'Brien, Pericard, Opara, Onibuje, Casal and Steve Adams into consideration.

I always think there should be some sort of qualification for this of say 10 games....you can be Opara or Ashikodi crap, and quickly found out.   Its the ones who have had plenty of games that are the worry.

Fair enough. So O'Brien, Pericard and Onibuje are still valid. Casal?

It has, I'd like to add Ben Hutchinson, David Duke, Gary Emmanuel, Tony Thorpe, Shaun Close, Simon Gibson, Kim Heiselburg and Lawrie Sanchez managed by Paul Hart

Jamie Slabber.

/close thread.

You see, and I know I'm in a minority, but I never thought Daisy was that bad, he was a winger asked to play as a full back.....so not for me in a worst XI - just my opinion and all that.

Loan players shouldn't really be considered.

[thread re-opened]

Why not?

Jimmy Glass for the 'keeper spot.

For me, any all-time Town XI (apart the all-time best/worst loan XI's) should consist of players who were here on a permanent basis.

Jason Drysdale, Frank Mcavennie, Sean Close, Paul Hunt. The list is endless!

Now here's a candidate for the worst left back of all time, absolute dog shit, that game away at Hull - a pile of spent wank forced into a pair of boots...

We need to do this position by position. So first we need a goalie. Hmmm.

Nicky hammond or john sheffield

Pure shit

Already nominated Jimmy Glass. Though I couldn't ever understand how Hammon kept Digby out either.

 David Lucas...

Frank Talia, never forgave him for 'doing' my sister.... in the DeVere (the hotel, not a euphemism for something else)

Fuck off. Duke was actually half decent and even had a few corkers, no way does he deserve to be in a worst 11.

Edit: Most of last season's mob should be up for it though.

Shut it troll!

We need a poll. So Hammond, Glass, Sheffield. Who else?

I remember him. Early 00's? He was shite.

I'm with you on that one.  If I recall correctly, wasn't he the player with the most assists in our playoff season in League One?

I'd like to weigh in with Matthew Hewlett and Adrian Viveash...

Talia had the odd good game though. Man Utd away in the league cup. Damn that ginger tosser Scholes.

Oh, and Duke was shit, but not worst 11 shit.

Watch it or I'll eat you for supper.

I vaguely remember him but was Bart Griemink any good?

when CF first posted this I was going to weigh in with a pre-emptive strike defending Duke before anyone replied.

Marko Tuomela... Woah, nasty feeling of de ja vu - are we sure we've not done this before? Cos I've got a feeling that I've posted him up before somewhere

Hammond had one of the best games ever by a Town keeper at West Ham when we won 1-0 completely against the run of play - so is forgiven some shocking performances - Posh away anyone?  Glass for me.  

And yes Arch, you are right I was a moany Town fan and Daisy was far better than Drysdale - and unlike Drysdale didn't cost us £300-400k

Talis was also superb away at Wolves when iffy scored his 100th career league goal - they equalised  in about the 89th minute.

Away at forrest he was awful though, truly awful.

Average keeper but his kicking was shit.

For goalkeepers Jake Findlay, Scott Endersby, or that Andrews guy from years ago - Tony Warner. Endersby was a traitorous piece of shit - Carlisle away was classic when he was playing for them.
Overall though it has to be Findlay - pure alcohol pumping around those veins.  

I've only been watching Swindon regularly since about 2003 so my list is as follows

GK Talia
RB Casal
CB Blackburn
CB Viveash
LB Nicolau
RM Shakes
CM Adams
CM Pook
LM O'Brien
ST Thorpe
ST Pericard

Genuinely did think about putting Phil Smith in...

Hmmmm, I bet not many former 'Player of the Year' award winners will qualify for this thread!

hmm, can we actually get a 'player of the year' XI from the last 15 years that would look like a team?

McKinney
Elkins
Whitbread
Viveash
Drysdale
McHugh
McAreavey
Collins
Shakes
Close
McPhee

If we are going to exclude those who played less than a handful of games such as Sheffield and Findlay (neither of whom I saw play for us) that must surely leave Endersby as the number 1?

...and sheffield was unlucky - we were rubbish at villa that day, he had no chance

There's a few harsh ones in there...  I always thought Nicholau looked like he had potential.  Wonder where he is now....

O'Brien wasn't that bad surely?!  Certainly not a qualifier for worst team ever!

For me, only including players that have played a few games:
Mildenhall
Casal
Viveash
Heywood
Drysdale
Shakes
Pook
Hewlett
Ben Hutchinson
Thorpe
Cureton


Avoided loanees but Hutchinson was truly fucking dire.

Mildenhall might be a bit harsh but I never forgave him for breaking his own arm against the post....

Thorpe and Cureton on their own may not be too shocking, but together they were depressingly bad, especially given the reputations they arrived with.

Heywood, Pook and Hewlett made me want to kill myself.  They were that bad.  Worse, in fact.

Hammond
Dryden
Tuomela
Drysdale
Cobian
Holcroft
Bakalli
Prutton
Paul Hunt
Close
Hamon

Last 15 years or so.

Some proper gash there

Wasn't Sheffield (and Paul Heald) on loan in the premiership season and only played a couple of games between them? Heald did his shoulder against Sheff Wed if I remember correctly.

In my time watching the Town (since the early 90's) I think either Talia or Griemink would be the worst, Hammond was prone to some serious howlers but could be blinding on his day.

Outfield players that would make my XI seem to be mostly central midfielders, we have had some truly awful ones, Hewlett, Howe, McHugh & Pook instantly come to mind. I would also put Prutton in there, hated him after 5 minutes of the first game last season.

Never understood the Duke antagonism-whole hearted player who always gave his best.Ruddock on the other hand was the total opposite who should be an automatic choice for any worst X1.Total fucking waster!

I'm amazed nobody has put together an XI including Prutton, Rose, Cuthbert, Sheehan, Pericard and Dossevi yet.

Heywood was quality! Won player of the season before fucking off to City. Mildenhall was pretty good aswell, heroic performance at Pompey when he took one to the nuts, we were top of the Championship after that game (sigh).

I genuinely think that most people on here are better than Alan O'Brien. He can run, that's it. Can't control a ball, no strength, can't shoot, can't head, no positional sense, not a talker. He is quite possibly the worst player I've seen for us.

Now this is a truly awful XI, I'd pay good money to see this bunch of muppets play together.... savouring the true awfulness with every passing minute...

Heywood was a fixsture of our back four at the time Hewlett had many a game where he was an unsung hero...very harsh in my opinion.

Agree, as mentioned on the AOB thread, he had no footballing ability whatsoever. Should definitely be in the XI.

They might even win a fucking game ;)

Eric Sabin, and Dossevi for the front two ?

Pericard is worse than Dossevi.

Ive been watching since 2007/8 season, so not much of an experience, but here goes:

kanyuka
aljofree
blackburn
casal

pook
adams
allen
o'brien

hutchinson
dossevi

Avoiding loanees I'd select:

Glass
Casal
Ruddock
Comyn-Platt
Drysdale
Sabin
Ince (the version that played for us)
Whalley
Shakes
Martin Williams
Dossevi

On the subject of loanees we've had some poor ones - as well as those already mentioned what about Stevenson, Jarrett & McCammon.

@peacocksluckycoat.

Yeah that lot will get hammered with no keeper ;)

No ones thought to put Joey Beac*nt in? Would back any worst XI involving Jason Drysdale! what an awful awful player.

Hewlett would only make the bench he's not shit enough to start. Bart would be a certainty in goal for me, Talia was a twat but a solid keeper.

I'd have Thorpe up front, fucking shit wanker.

For left side of midfield Tom Jenkins.He was bought from Southampton to replace Don Rogers when we sold him.He was absolutely crap.My abiding memory of him was his ability to get the ball,run diagonally across the pitch with it, then wind up taking the ball back to where he started in the first place.To think we actually paid good money for him!

Ive only seen 3 keepers in my time at town, brez, smith and lucas. if i had to pick one it would be phil, but i just felt too cruel.

And at home to Barnsley, same season.  Magnificent that day, best performance I've ever seen from a keeper.

Hammond should not be on this list.

Some glaring omissions there methinks:
Keeper: Jimmy Glass was mentioned earlier. Don't recall any consistently worse keeper
Defence: What about Rambo? So bad that he was a cult hero!
Midfield: David Geddis must get an honourable mention surely? Class when he was at Ipswich, but 100 years later when he played for us he was slightly past his sell by date!
Striker: Frank McAvennie - Same as Geddis. Also, have we forgotten Jamie Slabber?

In spite of those two performances where I agree he was excellent, he was so fucking piss poor the rest of the time Hammond most definitely has to be on the list.

And I've never forgiven him for Peterborough away and don't suppose I ever will.

I saw him do the same at Ipswich when Mullet Marshall scored for them.

Just about to post the same!

He wasn't really that bad, although it pains me to say it. McMuck broke him though and sent him crying back to Oxford.

Nope, Butter's was a great understudy for Diggers. All keepers fuck up every now and then.

Leigh Barnard from the 80's. He should be on the list for his haircut alone.

I loved Barnard. I was underage though.

Brian kilkline. I know it was the Premier League and so he wouldn't be the worst on pure ability, but he had a storming first game and then spent the rest of his town 'career' mincing around with his poncey long hair, looking like a fucking wizard, and being torn a new arsehole.

Was he the one with a tache? From Newcastle?

Yep, that's the fella. I spelt his surname wrong, it's Kilcline.

Weird how some people never took to Leigh...a man who gave several years of good service, signing in Div 4 and turning out for us in Div 2, having been an integral part of a couple of succesful teams. Equalising goal at Mansfield would put him up there in my opinion as a cult hero.

Really there's no need to look much further than last season's lot...

I remember this, i was 9 years old and very angry. I think it was the first ever time i swore at football and my dad didnt bollock me.

What a chode. IIRC Hammond also did something similar against Ipswich in the cup the year after?

mark marshall

I don't think a game went by that I didn't say "FOR FUCK SAKE DUKEY".

Leigh Barnard was utter dog shit and would be in my team of all time shits even with last seasons dire offerings.

Kingy did sign some right duffers, I think about 80% of his teams after they left us either went to conference or worse.

some harsh calls in this thread. Heywood is nowhere near shit enough and was player of the year. Leigh Barnard played his part in some great times. Duke a right winger playing left back to a reasonable standard. Mildenhall? have a fucking word. Even Hewlett and pook are harsh calls too.

Cobian has to be in. 3 year contract on a good wedge and was a liabilty. A terrible player who lived off his time in Boca juniors under 8's.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: brilliant.

Nobody has mentioned Craig Farr yet. Admittedly never really played but couldn't even give Griemink a tussle for the no1.

I really couldn't stand Alan MacDonald, Iffy Onuora, Hewlett, Howe, and Lawrie Sanchez.

Heywood had no ability as a footballer whatsoever, ala Alan O'Brien.  Nice chap though.

I thought Comyn-Platt looked half-decent early on in his Swindon days...

Think back to 86/87 and a game v Blackpool....we got stuffed 6-2 at home...0-4 at half time, second half we came out and gave it a good shot Leigh scoring the 2.  Now in that second half you could see that here was a player of albeit limited ability who wasn't going to accept defeat without giving it his best shot.   So he ran himself into the ground, and the fans could appreciate that we still had some fighting spirit in the side, despite such a heavy defeat.   

Upshot of it was we get promoted at the end of the season and Leigh misses 1 game. Macari knew his worth.

Compare this to the likes of Prutton...Rose...Sheehan...Lucas....Cuthbert....Pericard....Dossevi....O'Brien, players who maybe had a bit of ability, but just didn't give a shit about the club or its fans.

If our current crop....give as good service as Leigh Barnard, then we'll be in for a very decent season.

Can't believe people lumping Heywood in with this. Not a world beater but was a solid player for a few years.

I'd echo the shouts of Glass, Drysdale and Casal, as well as the shower of shite that was last season's team - especially Prutton.

Also always thought Steve Cowe was a bit shit, although that was probably mainly because he was about 4'6".

Heywood swept the board one season, taking all awards going. For that reason, i'd say he should be exempt.

Drysdale, Elkins, Peach, Emmanuel, Close, Kilcline.  Never rated David Dangerfield much

Iffy Onoura who scored 20+ in division 1 whilst we finished 17th?

Yeah, after that season he was absolutely abysmal and slow. I was only young and i had a real problem with him!

Heywood was solid whilst he was here. The likes of Elkins, Drysdale, Andy Williams etc in the mid to late 90's were just terrible. Holcroft, Craig Taylor aswell. Poor.

Iffy is one of only 3 Town players to have scored 20+ league goals in the second tier.

I really couldn't stand Alan Reeves. Until we became rubbish and then I quite liked him.

Gareth whalley
Neil ruddock
Bertie brayley
Paul heald
Drysdale

Gary Elkins, what a fat useless twat.

I did think about Darren Bullock, but then thought yeah he couldn't play football to save his life but he did give it his all.

I'd rather have Leigh Farmyard - as someone as already stated gave his all - than some of the spoilt lazy twats that we have had.

Keith Scott anyone ?

GET OUT!

Keith Scott did his best on a sinking ship!

The problem with putting players like Scott in an all time worst XI is the league we were in.
Ok, he didn't set the world alight, but compare him to a lot of players we've had since (In league's 1 & 2) and he'd be among the best.

Am I imagining it, or did he score on his debut in the Prem?

'Young' Alan Young anyone....?

He did - and his second game.

He scored all 4 of his Premier League goals in his first 7 games!! then 0 in 20

I always thought he was a bit of a donkey (Andy Mutch to) but they looked like donkeys in the Premier League - as opposed to Donkeys in L2 (...or even L1) so that must count in their favour.

not one mention of mark cunting robinson yet, can't believe that given some of the offerings

Didn't we also have an Aussie Mark Robertson who was also pretty woeful?

On the subject of Aussies...  Royce Brownlie.

Tony Thorpe is probably the worst non-loanee I've seen. Cureton runs him close.

Special shout outs for Aaron Brown, Hasney Aljofree, Lilian Nalis

Robinson would have been OK if a free transfer....but we paid 600K for him, but at least he gave some years of service.  Drysdale cost 350K and more or less went missing...hence his Lord Lucan nickname.

Simon Ferry, could be making himself a contender, after we paid 250K for him.

Was Adrian Bakali ours or a loanee? He was bad.

he only gave 'years of service' because no-one else was stupid enough to take him off our hands, by far the town player i have hated the most

In terms of expenditure to quality ratio would Ad Whitbread be in with a shout? What was it 600,000 from Orient?

i actually thought adi was ok, think west ham liked him too?

Any mention for money grubber Ruddock yet?

Jerel Ifil  :doh:

Fair enough, but at least he played, the truly execrable cost money or big wages and sit on their fat arses,  either being a bit injured or just disappearing into the CG oubliette marked Cobian.

Jerel? No bloody way! While he had the odd 'lapse' he was a pretty dependable defender and when he scored it was either a screamer or a bullet header.

..Oh yes-see page 3!

I was never keen on Lingy, but I'm probably in the minority! He just used to infuriate me.

....has the biggest ever let-down(well,at least 'til Prutton turned up) been mentioned...Gareth Whalley?

Yeah, I expected a lot of Whalley! but compared to Prutton last season he's basically Pele.

Let's discount every joker from last season and go from there otherwise I'd agree with Reg it would just be last seasons squad.

So far i'd go - Glass, Drysdale, Elkins, Thorpe, Beauchump, Hewlett, Duke.

David Peach.

At a time when we had no money, 1980, we sign an ageing left back for what was then our record transfer fee. A left back for chrissakes. First game we get stuffed by Millwall (6 something) and he, and we, went further downhill from then on. He was worse than Drysdale.

Big vote for Ruddock - wasn't it the case that at one time a quarter of our wages went to him? Plus he had the connection to the Brady bunch of course.

I saw Adi Viveash mentioned. He was OK from memory, and ended up playing 300+ games in the league for Walsall and others. Mind you he was one of the first subs to get subbed. Lasted all of 30 mins on his debut I think, was totally out of his depth being put into midfield and got subbed himself.

Can't believe some of the contenders here: Who mentioned Lingy?! Mildenhall, Heywood, Duke were all ok IMO. I even thought Craig Farr was alright...

Heiselberg, Drsydale, Bakalli, Cobian really was bad - lovely guy though, Beauchump (first name on team sheet), Drysdale, Razor, Prutton, Pericard & Dossevi, Aljofree...

but then some of them I'm judging on cnutation, not ability. Beauchump and Razor were half decent, even if Dudu - or doodoo? - did pull Razor's pants down at Loftus Road.

I'd defo have Steve Cowe and Booby Howe in here. I seem to remember Mrs Howe was quite tidy.

Bertie Brayley!!!!! I remember doing an interview with one of the players outside the training ground dressing room, and Brayley walked right up next to me stark-bollock naked.

Anybody remember Darren Dykes?

Me! I did say I'd be alone with that opinion, but he just annoyed me.

have a word with yourself System!

Okay, he was the worst player in a great side, but not worthy of a place in the worst town XI. Does that help?  ;)

great, thanks. Carry on!

I remember Darren Dykes, pretty sure he only played one game for us though (i could be wrong), i saw him play that one game and he wasn't that bad, definately seen worse.

Terry (Wife Beater) Fenwick, Jason Drysdale, Dean Hooper, Jon Sheffield, Frank (Fat Bastard) McAvenie, Sebastian Rustoe, Alan O'Brien, Kim Heiselberg, Gary Elkins, David Peach, Tony Thorpe

I pretty much agree with every name mentioned on here, we have had some utter wank players in our time.

Dont agree totally with Emmanuel he had 2 average seasons at least as much effort as Barnyard ever gave (sorry Reg just cant agree with you on the child beater, it was as much his awful attitude as a person as his footballing ability) and I also cannot agree about Colin Gordon, he was a good target man IMO.

As for defenders, well we have rarely had a good one in my 40 odd years of watching us, only a few exceptions like Calderwood and Taylor otherwise most had loads of off days just the worst, like Peach and Drysdale cost a lot and had more off days than others!

Terry Gibson

Gary Emmanuel *shudder*

An all time bad XI based on personal character weaknesses, rather than playing ability would be fun.

Qualification....custodial sentence (tick)  suspended sentence/community programme/tagging (tick)

Drink driving (tick)  other....tba (tick)

Chris Ogden
Edwin Murray
Jack Fountain
Terry Fenwick
Tony Finnegan
Oggy Hunt
Jimmy Gauld
Bronco Layne
Frank McAvennie
Vincent Pericard
Graham French (Captain)

Manager...Dennis Wise.....Chairman....Brian Hillier

What about shagging team mates wives?

Gurney? Austin?

Interesting....but a bit speculative....whereas porridge and criminal convictions tend to be more factual.  Best stick to the factual if you don't want to upset The Special One.

It was always rumoured, that the only reason Bobby Smith signed David Peach was becasue he was shagging his missus.

I only thought that Austin was speculation, Gurns was more that EVERYONE KNEW!

Didin't he get sent off once for lamping John McGinley? Elevates him to legend immediately in my eyes!

yes, but the only reason we hate mcginley is that he should have been sent off too and thus not available to score the winner in the 2nd leg

True....but I'd prefer a whole new XI....the player's wives dodgy shaggers (allegedly) XI.

I could find a place for Jamie Vincent and Adi Williams on my bench, mind.

That and he's a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn.....

A fat one too!

Really - I hated him a long time before that (must be to do with living up north) - the 2nd leg thing did grate somewhat!

fraser mchugh-bobby howe-neale fenn(loan)

What crimes did edwin murray and oggy hunt commit?

Was thinking about this thread last night and just kept thinking of crap full back after crap full back from over the years

Oggy was a domestic....Murray a bit of road rage...

Paul Edwards did a bit of ram raiding between leaving Man City and joining us, i think. Nicholas and Pook both got done for drink driving... so there are a few more for Reg's team.


Whoever above mentioned Fraser McHugh has just reminded me about how much i despaired at his inclusion. he made Hewlett look competant.

Colin Barrett signed from Forest after they had won the european cup less than double figures in games (reg please  correct)

Good call....Edwards was actually a decent player.  Think we may have enough to stretch to 7 subs....got to be a few more.

Ricky Shakes shakes shakes? Has he been mentioned yet?

We need to add Andy Rollings to permanent signings and if we're talking loan signings how the fuck has nobody mentioned Nicky Wankspanner.

I think he played 5 in total......

Can't have a worst defence without Nigel Gray in it

Nigel Gray had one brilliant season before he detached his retina while playing against Orient I think, the season before he was awful though.

And Reg - you have to include Leigh Barnard then in the list of criminals as he was arrested for repeatedly hitting schoolboy players at Pompey and getting a sentence for it, community service I think it was.

Sounds like I have an issue with Mr Barnard (chunky the monkey as he liked to be called) but I dont really :) he was just a fuckwit.

I used to go on the piss with Barny - he was a decent lad. On the pitch he was an absolute 100%er. He is nowhere near a worst XI - in fact we could have done with him last season. Very limited player but 100% effort.
 

I knew him quite well back then, I guess I just didnt get on with him, I worked at the club under Trollope/Beamish/Macari on the groundstaff and I reserve my judgement.

OK....Leigh is in, but will have to settle for a place on the bench.

Bit harsh on Leigh Barnard as some of his team mates would have matched last season's lot - maybe if there are 7 subs though he might just make it.

Reg, as you're around, can you recall any differences between Nicky Tanner and Simon Gibson? or anyone...

I recall blond colossi who turned slower than oil tankers but maybe they were worse than that! 

Nicky Tanner was dire, Gibbo had a few good games and scored at least one cracker with one of the biggest foreheads I have ever seen on a human, elephant man not included!

Sorted, I accept that :D

Kamara for his ABH/GBH v Gillingham ?