Putin
Pol Pot
Peter Piper
Russell Brand
Shamima Begum
Arthur Fowler
Jeremy Clarkson
Wouldn't trust Arthur Fowler with a transfer kitty.
Putin: Other than being a bit busy could be having health issues and a visa might be difficult.
Pol Pot: Is a bit of a dictator and in today’s society might lose the dressing room if he does lose them first in a paddy field.
Peter Piper: AKA Pierre Poivre, has a criminal record for stealing some very sought after spices, nutmeg and cloves amongst others from some Far East colonies that the French ruled. I can see that coming unstuck if there turns out to be an international arrest warrant and subsequent extradition.
Russel Brand: Is a first class cunt, so highly unlikely.
Shamima Begum: A bit like our French candidate Pierre would have trouble with a work permit and visa.
Arthur Fowler: Financial irregularities with the Woolford/Queen Vic Christmas club could overshadow any transfer deals. We are already unfairly called Swindle Town, Arthur’s appointment will be like throwing petrol on a fire to put it out.
Which leaves us with one Jeremy Clarkson: lives local. Prepared to try his hand at new ventures. Tackles difficult situations head on and it would seem battling officialdom is his cause celeb. Gets my vote.