Back and just about recovered.
I have to say I can’t recommend Peru enough, it’s fucking awesome.
Flights (cheers Yeovil) where a nightmare to behold. On the way out we had an unscheduled stop in Columbia, which was nice and on the way back a stop off in Bonaire. Over the past 21 days including transfers I have been on 10 different god damn planes and had to endure three, yes three different bloody Jennifer Lopez Movies five times!
As for KLM, they have to have the ugliest Air Hostesses I have ever seen. Not one fit one; all of them are built like brick out houses, 40+ and have skin like my arse crack region. I definitely didn’t mess my pants over the France, I can tell you.
Aside from that no real dramas just 21 days of drugs, booze, beers and bird. As tempting as it was (and it was tempting) I was well behaved and stuck with my Peruvian mistress. Although if anyone’s ever tempted to go out there then I would say it is definitely a paradise!
Highlights definitely include Cusco. Even I managed to appreciate the sights and architecture. Although some twat nicked my jacket in a club there the cunt. :evil:
Bolivia was a big disappointment. First off Copacabana beach on Lake Titicaca looked to be a perfect traveller’s revelry point. However I nearly had to knock the doorman of the hotel out when he refused to let us go out after 11pm, as he ‘wanted to sleep’. Unfortunately I should have listened to him, Saturday night and the Town was dead, just one solitary bar open.
La Paz in Bolivia wasn’t much better. The South American equivalent of Milton Keynes. Fuck all to really see or do. Managed to do the whole site-seeing thing in half a day including the bloody museums. Despite being described a very safe for travellers it had to have been the only place I have felt intimidated in just walking down the street. Nightlife wise it was dead, most of the bars are solid drinker’s bars and not recommended for tourists at all. Bolivians go out to get slaughtered and sit happily drinking away and abusing each other in these dark and dank drinking dens.
Decided to head back to Peru after 3 days one of which was spent with serious food poisoning. Not felt that rough, ever. Had the age old dilemma of trying to decide which hole got priority over the porcelain god to avoid a ‘double whammy’ unfortunate style mess. Fortunately the sink was right next to the bog so there was no spillage in the end. Even went to a quack who prescribed a sack full of tablets I felt that bad, all of which did fuck all. In the end a trusty Alca Saltzer and re-hydration solution that tasted of salty wet mucus with the same consistency got me back up and running. :chunder:
Drugs wise (not that I dabbled) I was ‘reliably informed’ that coke was £3 and a bag of premium weed was a fiver and that’s tourist prices. Again it may be the 2nd biggest coke producer to Columbia but Bolivia is a definite no go for drugs. Spoke to a few people out there who had or had herd horror stories about dodgy gear, crooked dealers and nasty coppers on the make. Peru was by far the best place to dabble. :doobie:
Nightlife wise I can’t recommend Peru enough. Friendly locals (some very friendly) excellent bars and clubs plus its dirt cheap. A fiver all you can drink until midnight, you can’t argue with those sorts of prices.
Three weeks was definitely not enough and if it wasn’t for a new job and ever delayed apartment being built then I would have seriously considered going native or a while. Definitely going back, hopefully in April next year and in the mean time going to take up a couple of Spanish courses.
Over & Out
