The Opponent: The Slavetraders
Bristol (English: i/ˈbrɪstəl/, Bristolian: Brizzle, my lurve), is the capital of the West Country, and is perhaps best known for being the city where breasts were invented, but has also enjoyed a rich heritage of many things with self buoyancy including tall ships and slaves. Running through the centre of the city is the River Avon, a waterway filled with cider which for thousands of years has kept the entire population in a state of continuous inebriation allowing them to interbreed sufficiently to create an entirely new sub species of human called "Bristolians". As a port town with such a rich history of international trade in Negro's and tobacco, Bristol has recently converted several local brothels into museums in order to house all the historical artefacts recovered by Mayor Tony Robinson. Although Isambard Kingdom Brunel was from Swindon, Bristolians will never admit it, and these days the city is mostly inhabited by students and BBC television presenters. It is said that a name similar to Bristol was first used in reference to a man called "Brizzel" who was involved in and won the world's first ever punch which took place in the area now known as Broadmead in the centre of the city. In 1794 Sir John Roache began his epic task of separating Wales from Bristol entirely with a fruit knife forming what is now known as the Bristol Channel. Today large fans are still employed on both coastlines in an effort to push the two further apart.
As the capital city of the West Country, Bristol became independent from England in 2010 following the general election of David Cameron, when the entire population rose up, took control of government buildings and refused to follow instructions from a man who was obviously such a complete idiot. Tony Robinson (a Stalinist) took command after a coalition government formed around him. Whilst many turn a blind eye to the obvious Stalinist agenda of Tony Robinson, it appears unlikely that his political power will be challenged in the near future.
Last Time Out – The Slavetraders 2 AFC Wimbledon 1 Tuesday 11th November- JPT: 2 late Wilbraham goals were enough to see off The Dons, despite a late Francomb effort to make it 2-1.
Starting XI - Fielding, Flint, El-Abd (Ayling), Williams, Wagstaff, Smith, Emmanuel-Thomas, Pack, Bryan (Cunningham), Wilbraham, Burns (Freeman)
They have served us both –
Paul ALLEN
Wayne ALLISON
Charles ALLWRIGHT
Kevin AMANKWAAH
Calvin ANDREW
Kevin BADDELEY
Billy BATTY
Elliot BENYON
Roy BICKNELL
Cecil BLAKEMORE
Brian BORROWS
Frank BOULTON
Archie BOWN
Jack BRINTON
Aaron BROWN
Arthur CAPES
Peter CHAMBERS
Ray CHANDLER
Mark COOPER
Barry CORR
Frank CURRAN
Alf DEAN
Fred DENT
David DOWN
Alex DOWNIE
Richard DRYDEN
John EMANUEL
Gary EMMANUEL
Fred FENTON
Alex FERGUSON
Aden FLINT
Fred FORD
Geoff FOX
Colin GORDON
John GORMAN
Tony GRANT
Ryan HARLEY
Fred HAWLEY
Tom HEATON
Matt HEWLETT
Matt HEYWOOD
Brian HOWARD
Robin HULBERT
Ernie HUNT
Billy JONES
Mike LYONS
Craig MASKELL
Mark MCCAMMON
Alex MEECHAN
Andy MICKLEWRIGHT
Alex MILLIGAN
David MURRAY
Paddy O'BRIEN
Billy PADFIELD
Dave PARTRIDGE
Lee PEACOCK
Tommy PENN
Frank PETERS
Howard PRITCHARD
Chris RAMSEY
Christian ROBERTS
Fitzroy SIMPSON
Grant SMITH
Mark STEVENS
Ken STROUD
Shaun TAYLOR
Mick TEAGUE
Tony THORPE
Kevin WATSON
Brian WILLIAMS
Cyril WILLIAMS
Danny WILSON
Far too many to list myself so kindly borrowed.
The Odds – Swindon 13/8 Draw 23/10 Brizzle 13/8
The Son Says – “Will there be any fighting?”. 2-1 Victory
The Prediction – It has the makings of a cracking game of football, on that basis, we will win 3-1, goals from Obika (2) and a Smith Penalty. 9’965 in attendance with 2001 from near Wales.
And Finally – The People's Republic of Stokes Croft is an area right next to the centre, their leader has managed to increase the area of the place using an army of tramps armed with empty cider bottles. Since then, the residents of the People's Republic of Stokes Croft have become renowned for being the most beautiful, artistic, intelligent and friendly of all Bristolians. Within the last decade the PR of SC has evolved to become an independent nation, military force, trade hub, Eurovision winner, time zone and top exporter of bungs. This has been a source of some confusion amongst other Bristolians, who still labour under the impression that Stokes Croft is a street and not, in fact, the Renaissance. The local currency is the Squat. The Tesco Express in the locality is a popular venue for all social interactions.
