The Opponent: Bradford City
Since 2006 crime in Bradford city centre has been gradually eliminated thanks to operation "Head in the Sand" which involves the introduction of schemes to reduce recorded crime. Phase 1 of the operation was to outsource Bradford's 999 emergency number to a call centre in India manned by one individual who claims his name is Fred, this resulted overnight in 64% less crimes being recorded.
In November 2010, Bradford was officially recognised as a 'City of Sanctuary' which was celebrated despite the fact it was merely a nice name for branding the city as a soft touch to foreign criminals and gypsies. The success of the 'City of Spongers Sanctuary' was overwhelming and sites throughout Bradford from Baildon to Shipley to Silsden were occupied by travellers, eventually they descended on the Bradford Urban Gardens but to avoid embarrassment at the scale of the camp the Council claimed it was an interactive art installation.
Going back through Bradford’s history, it is thought Bradford council chose the famous ex-cricketer, anti-Putin spokesman and ex-husband of Jemima Puddleduck, Imran Khan as Lord Mayor. In turn, Khan realised that the city needed a spokesman who was a recognisable icon from the previous decades of racial harmony. Unfortunately due to his limited understanding of Northern culture, Denzil from Only Fools and Horses was elected to mixed reaction. Six months later, Khan was growing tired of the lack of excitement that his new position afforded him and began to plot the downfall of his adopted city. The tensions rose after Denzil and Dr Anthony Truman from Eastenders attempted to organise a march in the city. This was banned by Bradford Council (which was now merely Khan’s puppet). The local association of Families Against Racial Tension (F.A.R.T), organised a counter march which was allowed to proceed. During the course of the march Khan’s men circulated a rumour that Federation sympathisers were gathering at Quark’s bar in the centre of Bradford. A confrontation then occurred outside the engineering quarter in the city centre during which Mickey from Only Fools and Horses was fatally stabbed. According to the appeal court this incident almost certainly triggered the riot.
Where the opposition gather – http://www.claretandbanter.co.uk/threads/swindon-next-and-thanks-to-city-they-can-now-catch-peterborough.39419/Last 6 – LDWLDW (13th place on 53 points)
They have served us both – Wayne Allison, Alan Connell, Sandy Cochrane, Ted Braithwaite, Moses Ashikodi, Chris Casper, Gareth Whalley, Colin Todd, Wilf Shergold, Jimmy Quinn, Andy Petterson, Alex Rhodes, Nicky Summerbee, Jack Preece, Mark Yeates, Ashley Westwood, Rafa De Vita, Abe Rosenthal, Billy Paynter, Harry Kaye, Lee Holmes, Paul Evans, Tom Hallett, Frazer McHugh, Michael Proctor, William Marshall, Ken Lambert, Bob Jefferson, Stan Harland, Rhys Evans, Steve Foley, Gareth Edds, Stephen Darby, Mark McCammon, Junior Lewis, Bruce Walker, Peter Downsborough, David Layne, Tom Helsby
The Odds – Swindon 5/6 Draw 11/4 Bradford 15/4 If Rafa is lucky enough to get a start, and I hope he does as I never disliked the bloke, Bet 365 will give you 14/1 for him to score the inevitable 1st goal.
The Son Says – “Dad, who is that fool Dexter”? And a 1-0 win.
The Prediction – I wonder how many people in front at me will be looking at their iPhone gadgets every 2 minutes wondering how Peterborough are getting on. If the Jocks pull off a surprise and we pick up the 3 points then the last couple of games of the season will be a bit more than the relegation battle some seasoned TEF contributors warned us of. We will win this 3-1, Smith, Smith and Storey, in front of 7’988 with 273 whippet breeders paying well over the odds for a cold and flavourless hot dog.
And Finally – The latest Mad Max film (provisionally titled Fury Road) was originally planned to have taken place on a number of locations around Bradford including the Urban Gardens as part of the Unesco city of film honour, Mel Gibson was said to have been attracted to Bradford due to the local anti-Semitic views and post apocalyptic locations.
