The Opponent: Carlisle United
In 2001 a large stone inscribed with a curse was place in the underpass near Carlisle's Tullie House Museum. It was designed by a local Carlisle artist named Gordon Young and made by Andy Altman. The wording came from The Monition of Cursing by Archbishop Gavin Dunbar of Glasgow in the 16th century. The curse was read out on every pulpit throughout the debatable lands (Scottish border) in a bid to excommunicate the thieving, murdering, raping and godless Reiver families of the region. However today, for some strange reason, a few Carlisle residents blamed the stone and its apparent occult powers for some of the city's unlucky events. It is an ancient curse brought up to date, and residents in Carlisle claim it has brought them disasters from disease to the relegation of Carlisle United, livestock herds around the city on the border with England were wiped out by foot and mouth disease and there have been devastating floods amongst many other dreadful events.
Local councillor Jim Tootle insists the stone, designed by Altman is destroyed or removed. Councillor Mike Mitchelson, leader of Carlisle City Council, said: "The removal of the stone has been proposed by a council member and will be discussed as part of our Council meeting next Tuesday. We're obliged to address his comments, but estimate that it will cost the council several thousands of pounds to remove the stone." Artist Young, a descendant of one of the reiver families, has angrily compared the plan to the destruction of the giant Buddha’s in Bamiyan by Afghanistan’s Taliban regime in 2001. "It is of that order. They want to smash it to pieces. It is a powerful work of art but it is certainly not part of the occult," he said. “If I thought my sculpture would have affected one Carlisle United result, I would have smashed it myself years ago." I knew that Avebury was fucking dodgy.
Where the opposition gather – http://thecumbrians.boards.net/thread/808/swindon“Mark Lamarr, Billie Piper, Nick Hewer, Diana Dors, Melinda Messenger, your boys took one hell of a beating! (Hopefully)”
Last 6 – LLDLDD – Currently 20th on 40 points. Their last 3 home games have all ended 0-0 and in their last 8 games they have scored 3 goals. Gary Madine is bound to change this sooner or later.
They have served us both – Jimmy Glass, Dave Caldwell, Vincent he used to play for Juventus Pericard, Alan O’Brien, Stuart Elliot, Graham Anthony, John Gorman, Bobby Turner, Paul Thirlwell, Frank Large, Mike Grella, Alan Mayes, Steve Finney, Austin Berkley, TAH, Lewis Clayton, Scott Endersby, John Sutton, Lee Peacock, Jake Jervis, Mike Graham, Don Macphail, JP McGovern, Miguel Comminges, Stan Harland, Bertie Lyon
The Odds – Carlisle 2/1 Draw 12/5 Swindon 8/5 For those wanting to back Carlisle’s run of 0-0 snoozefests, Boylesports only offer 17/2, but a more generous 12/1 can be taken with Bet Victor.
The Son Says – He tells me he is up to 250 hits for his Youtube videos now, every view he gets is like Town winning The Champions League I think. 2-1 victory to the Town.
The Prediction – Will this run continue? It seems like we have to win every game and we will win this, despite Braveheart, Alex Ferguson and the cunts wanting independence. 1-0 win, Gladwin, 3992, 178 from Swindon.
And Finally – The Scottish city of Carlisle was founded as Luguvalium by the Romans. When they left in the early 5th century the Picts took it over, the Vikings were next on the list, and the Scots displaced them. The Normans added Carlisle to their territory after the Conquest, the Scots retook it in the 12th century, and the English got it back later. It even fell to Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745. Nobody wants it really.
