The Opponent: The Slavetraders
Bristol (English: i/ˈbrɪstəl/, Bristolian: Brizzle, my lurve), is the capital of the West Country, and is perhaps best known for being the city where breasts were invented, but has also enjoyed a rich heritage of many things with self buoyancy including tall ships and slaves. Running through the centre of the city is the River Avon, a waterway filled with cider which for thousands of years has kept the entire population in a state of continuous inebriation allowing them to interbreed sufficiently to create an entirely new sub species of human called "Bristolians". As a port town with a such a rich history of international trade in Negro's and tobacco, Bristol has recently converted several local brothels into museums in order to house all the historical artefacts recovered by Mayor Tony Robinson. Although Isambard Kingdom Brunel was from Swindon, Bristolians will never admit it, and these days the city is mostly inhabited by students and BBC television presenters. It is said that a name similar to Bristol was first used in reference to a man called "Brizzel" who was involved in and won the world's first ever punch which took place in the area now known as Broadmead in the centre of the city. In 1794 Sir John Roache began his epic task of separating Wales from Bristol entirely with a fruit knife forming what is now known as the Bristol Channel. Today large fans are still employed on both coastlines in an effort to push the two further apart.
As the capital city of the West Country, Bristol became independent from England in 2010 following the general election of David Cameron, when the entire population rose up, took control of government buildings and refused to follow instructions from a man who was obviously such a complete idiot. Tony Robinson (a Stalinist) took command after a coalition government formed around him. Whilst many turn a blind eye to the obvious Stalinist agenda of Tony Robinson, it appears unlikely that his political power will be challenged in the near future.
Spotlight - The People's Republic of Stokes Croft is an area right next to the centre, their leader has managed to increase the area of the place using an army of tramps armed with empty cider bottles. Since then, the residents of the People's Republic of Stokes Croft have become renowned for being the most beautiful, artistic, intelligent and friendly of all Bristolians. Within the last decade the PR of SC has evolved to become an independent nation, military force, trade hub, Eurovision winner, time zone and top exporter of bungs. This has been a source of some confusion amongst other Bristolians, who still labour under the impression that Stokes Croft is a street and not, in fact, the Renaissance. The local currency is the Squat. The Tesco Express in the locality is a popular venue for all social interactions.
Where the opposition gather – Whoever Rich is, fair play to you.
http://www.otib.co.uk/index.php?/topic/161718-swindon-fans/Tossers.
Weather or Not? - Looking like a decent day today. Most sunny intervals with light cloud, temperatures 14-15 degrees. Spring has sprung.
Last 6 – WDLWWW - Currently 15th on 41 points.
They have served us both – Mick Teague, Kevin Amankwaah, Brian Williams, Shaun Taylor, Christian Roberts, Danny Wilson, Ken Stroud, Aden Flint, Frank Peters. Robin Hulbert, David Murray, Alex Downie, Alf Dean, Mike Lyons, Mark Stevens, Colin Gordon, Mark Cooper, Paul Allen, Alex Meechan, Matt Hewlett, Archie Bown, Cecil Blackmore, Ryan Harley, Charles Allwright, Ray Chandler, Aaron Brown, Peter Chambers, Jack Brinton, Elliot Benyon, Ernie Hunt, Billy Jones. Mark McCammon, Brian Howard, Fitzroy Simpson, Grant Smith, John Emanuel, Barry Corr, Fred Dent, Frank Curran, Howard Pritchard, Chris Ramsey. Alex Milligan, Paddy O'Brien, Andy Micklewright
The Odds – Brizzle 5/4 Draw 12/5 Swindon 9/4 First goalscoring stakes look predictable, Sam Baldock, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas and Tyrone Barnett are all around 5/1 to score 1st, Michael Smith generally 6/1.
The Son Says – I really wanted us to both go to this one today but have decided not to as Mrs Rosso feels the average Bristolian idiot is not to be trusted. So whilst he is running around Laserquest, he thinks we will win 3-2.
The Prediction – If any of our player's fancy proving they do give a shit about the rest of the season then today is a good chance to do so, and they will. 2-1 victory, Pritchard and Smith in front of 14'433 with 2014 from Swindon meaning at least 12'000 of the home attendance are likely to be related to each other.
And Finally – Just fucking beat them, by whatever means, win.
