The opponent: Macclesfield Town
The beauty of the FA Cup is upon us
I don’t know why, but when I think of Macclesfield, I think of a typical northern shithole, rocketing unemployment, White Ace bottle fed to toddlers, Ter wife knowing her place and row upon row of crumbling terrace houses. But take a closer look and you will find that it would appear to be one of the more affluent parts of the grim north, and a Conservative stronghold for many years, with disgraced Tory MP Sir Nicholas Winterton having retired as the local MP after 38 years, something to do with dodgy expenses and slapping Labour MP Natascha Engel’s arse, when questioned about the accusation, he simply replied, "I'm quite a normal person. Will I slap a colleague on the back, Will I slap a colleague in friendship? The answer is – it is certainly possible”. What a guy! On the flip side, it seems that they have their own share of knuckle draggers, with The Macclesfield Express main story being “Macclesfield gran takes on yobs – and gets them banned from town”, sounds much like Cheshire’s very own Supergran.
As well as around 52’000 people, many celebrities from the world of sport and television have chosen to become ‘Maxonians’ or were born there, such as perma-tanned antique shifter, David Dickinson, Lanky striker beaten by STFC a couple of months back, Peter Crouch, legendary cricket commentator Jonathan Agnew, Walsall born Noddy Holder, and one of my personal favourites, Mr Methane, the world’s only performing flatulist. For those of a more serious musical persuasion than Slade and Johnny Fartpants, Ian Curtis, lead singer of the fantastic Joy Division hails from Macclesfield and was cremated in Macclesfield some 32 years ago. Another member of Joy Division, Bernard Sumner also came from nearby Alderley Edge. One of Macclesfield’s most recently famous products is Olympic Hero, Ben Ainsle, he of the dodgy beard who I witnessed bringing home the gold a few months back in sunny Weymouth.
Macclesfield have one rather famous fan, Dwayne Johnson (WWE Superstar The Rock), who once pulled the name of Macclesfield Town out of a hat on Soccer AM to determine which team he should follow. Hopefully we will leave him feeling ‘rock bottom’ tomorrow come 4.45pm (like he’d give a shit)
Macclesfield Last 6– LLDDWW (Currently sitting in 7th place on 24 points in the league the scummers will be calling home next season, The Blue Sq Prem/Conference/Call it what you like
The Threat – Matthew Barnes-Homer, perhaps he is a Simpsons fan? So far this season the lad has scored 11 in the Non-League, and another 2 in cup competitions. Being outsung by the expected coach load of fans, some Macclesfield fans are hoping to bring up to 100, making for a cracking atmosphere at the County Ground later today. Fair play to those that do make the journey, sounds like they can afford it.
The irrelevant stats – Nearly half of Macclesfield’s goals are scored in the last 15 minutes, hopefully something PDC is well aware of. So far this season Macclesfield have scored 26 goals, with an impressive 15 of those coming away from home, although they have managed to concede 25 goals, with a not so impressive 19 of these being conceded on their travels. Macclesfield also have 3 players with double barrelled surnames, must be local Maxonians.
A warm welcome too – Anthony McNamee, The former Town winger is likely to want to impress against us. I always thought it was a bit unfair calling him a one trick pony like they did at Watford, he could do a step over to the left as well.
The Odds – Swindon
2/7 Draw
9/2 Macclesfield
15/2 (odds from SkyBet, Betfair are looking at around 10’s on an unthinkable away win). Anyone fancying young Miles Storey to continue his recent rich goalscoring form by scoring first, shop around. SkyBet are offering a not very generous
4/1, but Paddy Power are offering
13/2, which is the same Paddy Power offering
500/1 on a 10-0 victory for the Silkmen. In case you wondered, Bet 365 are offering
33/1 on a McNamee opener!
Sid Says – I think he is a bit depressed at the moment, as he predicted 3-2 to Villa on Tuesday night, and he has been off his fodder this week. After a bit of encouragement he wandered towards a not very optimistic 2-1 to us.
The Prediction – Potential banana skin? Yes, possibly, it would be disrespectful to think they will just roll over but I really do believe we have enough to win 5-0, with a Rooney and De Vita double, and a late pile driver from Ritchie, to send the majority of the 5’889 crowd home looking forward to tomorrow's draw.
And Finally – A local legend attaches to the famous flight of 108 steps from Water's Green to St Michael and All Angels Church in Macclesfield. It is said that anyone who can make it from bottom to top without taking a breath on the way will have a wish granted. The cynical, however, might wonder if any such claim was based on a quick stop in the pub where the trek begins!
