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Author Topic: trivial things that make you smile,or make you feel good  (Read 4518585 times)
The Artist Formerly Known as Audrey

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?Absolute Calamity!?




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« Reply #22950 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 17:41:34 »

Nothing on Urban Dictionary for Chinese Purse.

On the plus side, I now know what a Chinese Takeout is!
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #22951 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 17:43:18 »

Nothing on Urban Dictionary for Chinese Purse.
That's a relief. I thought for one awful moment I'd candidly confessed to taking delivery of a bulk delivery of some kind of horrendous sex toy or something
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donkey
Cheers!

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He headed a football.




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« Reply #22952 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 19:21:50 »

I just guessed on the urban dictionary thing.  It sounded like it might have been, that's all.  :-)
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donkey tells the truth

I headed the ball.

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Flashheart

« Reply #22953 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 19:29:29 »

It should be.
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #22954 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 19:59:40 »

Chinese purse update: disappointingly we haven't had a fresh delivery of Chinese purses today so looks like the market stall's off. But the other stuff I was expecting has turned up, which at least means they haven't randomly sent me a load of Chinese purses instead of the things I ordered which is good. But still a bit puzzling.
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Flashheart

« Reply #22955 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 20:04:13 »

Somebody, somewhere, is waiting for their Chinese purses.

AND YOU THINK IT'S ALL A JOKE, DAVIS???
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #22956 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 20:06:26 »

Somebody, somewhere, is waiting for their Chinese purses.

AND YOU THINK IT'S ALL A JOKE, DAVIS???
I'm sorry. I'm a bad person. But on the upside, I'm three Chinese purses to the good.

You know, it really should be an Urban Dictionary euphemism for something filthy, it's too good a phrase to waste. We should make something up. Let's get the combined brain power of the TEF working on this.
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ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers

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« Reply #22957 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 21:51:48 »

Something about the use of gunpowder and genitals. That's all I'm capable of offering right now.
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
Barry Scott

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« Reply #22958 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 22:55:57 »

I think my mate gave me a Chinese purse once.

After upper cutting him in the bollocks while hammered, a few hours later he went all Daniel LaRusso from behind and kicked my nuts into my colon.
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Flashheart

« Reply #22959 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 23:18:22 »

I think my mate gave me a Chinese purse once.


That's all we needed to know.

The rest was superflous.
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #22960 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 23:27:45 »

I think my mate gave me a Chinese purse once.

After upper cutting him in the bollocks while hammered, a few hours later he went all Daniel LaRusso from behind and kicked my nuts into my colon.
Yeah, that works nicely. Albeit slightly eye-wateringly. Any other bidders?
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BambooToTheFuture

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I'll Tell Ya Now - McGurk Is The New Graham


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« Reply #22961 on: Thursday, December 19, 2019, 23:59:46 »

All this talk of "Chinese Purse" just seems on the same kind of filth scale as an "Otter's Pocket".

We all know the "As wet as an Otter's pocket." So maybe "As smooth as a Chinese Purse."

Tell us Paul (or FH), is a Chinese Purse smooth or rough?  Soapy Tit Wank
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'Incessant Nonsense'

______________________________________________________________

'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
Exiled Bob

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« Reply #22962 on: Friday, December 20, 2019, 06:34:53 »

All this talk of "Chinese Purse" just seems on the same kind of filth scale as an "Otter's Pocket".

We all know the "As wet as an Otter's pocket." So maybe "As smooth as a Chinese Purse."

Tell us Paul (or FH), is a Chinese Purse smooth or rough?  Soapy Tit Wank
Sideways, isn't it?
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horlock07

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« Reply #22963 on: Friday, December 20, 2019, 09:26:25 »

I haven't checked the bin or the back gate yet, there could be dozens of them waiting for me!

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DiV
Has also heard this

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Joseph McLaughlin




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« Reply #22964 on: Friday, December 20, 2019, 09:38:12 »

My personal favourite I have received was

Your parcel has been left by the badger
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