Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you

[Barry Scott]

Can you discreetly ask her if she's OK?

I've outright asked her face to face if he's hit her. She's said no on each occasion and not in an obviously evasive manner.

Sure it rankles, but part of me agrees with Arriba, and part of me completely disagrees with Arriba. It's just a minefield of a situation with lots of potential negatives on both sides. It's even possible I'm the one being dramatic. Do women actually walk into doors?

[ghanimah]

Do women actually walk into doors?

I think you know the answer... but I agree it's a minefield.

[Bob's Orange]

I think you know the answer... but I agree it's a minefield.

Amazed she's only had black eyes and not lost limbs to be honest!

[LucienSanchez]

My ex ended up with a black eye once after accidentally headbutting me during a drunken, energetic bit of bedroom action - it could be as innocent yet embarrassing as that?

[Tails]

Stay out of it. None of your business is it?
If people get knocked about they can leave. They have many options nowadays. Let them get on with it I say. They probably wouldn't thank you for getting involved anyway

If she ends up, god forbid, dead or seriously hurt, then how would he feel? Understand your point, generally it's never good to get involved in other peoples business, but if a man is willing to hit a woman then who knows what else he is capable of.

I'd report it. I had a neighbour who used to always argue with her boyfriend and you could pretty much hear him beating the shit out of her. I reported it to the police. I didn't really feel like it was my place but I could hear her screaming (and not the good way!) and it didn't sound particularly pleasant.

[Arriba]

If she ends up, god forbid, dead or seriously hurt, then how would he feel? Understand your point, generally it's never good to get involved in other peoples business, but if a man is willing to hit a woman then who knows what else he is capable of.

I'd report it. I had a neighbour who used to always argue with her boyfriend and you could pretty much hear him beating the shit out of her. I reported it to the police. I didn't really feel like it was my place but I could hear her screaming (and not the good way!) and it didn't sound particularly pleasant.

Barry's already asked if he's hit her. She said no and could have said yes if he had and wanted to tell somebody. If she stays and he kills her then she has had ample opportunity to leave or speak out. It is her decision.
I am sure that even if Barry called the police they would not be welcome and the woman would say there is no issue. This is just my view though. Bazza should do what he wants about it.

[Samdy Gray]

Barry's already asked if he's hit her. She said no and could have said yes if he had and wanted to tell somebody. If she stays and he kills her then she has had ample opportunity to leave or speak out. It is her decision.

And what if she's too scared to say yes? Or too scared to leave or speak out? For many victims of domestic violence it's not their decision.

[DMR]

I'm inclined to agree with arriba. At what point do you stop getting involved in other peoples' business otherwise?

[Arriba]

And what if she's too scared to say yes? Or too scared to leave or speak out? For many victims of domestic violence it's not their decision.

If so, would a copper knocking on the door change that? They always can decide to leave even if they have no family.

My dad used to hit my mum, she got her stuff together and walked out taking me and my brother with her. That was in 1978 and its so much easier nowadays with help readily available.

[Tails]

I'm inclined to agree with arriba. At what point do you stop getting involved in other peoples' business otherwise?

If I genuinely thought a friend or neighbour was in danger I would have no problems stepping in.

Otherwise I think it's best to stay out. It's a tough one to answer really, everyone thinks differently.

[DMR]

Just go round and lid the cunt Barry. If he's beating her, he deserves it. If he isn't then she'll probably be keen for you anyway as the alpha male.

[Amir]

My ex worked with a lot of domestic violence cases, and if the person involved doesn't want help, then there's not really anything you can do. She even put herself at risk once by helping a woman get away from her partner who'd beaten and tried to strangle her, and a month later the woman was back with him again.

Barry did the right thing by asking, and she'll now know she can talk to him if she wants in the future. He can't do more. If you witness or hear it, by all means phone the police/stab him in the eyeball. Even then it might not be appreciated.

[Bob's Orange]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-30057936

What is wrong with some people?

[Samdy Gray]

People are idiots.

[Bob's Orange]

People are idiots.

Nailed it Sam!