pauld
Aaron Aardvark
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Posts: 25436
Absolute Calamity!
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« Reply #120 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:24:55 » |
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Funny how times change - in medieval times, you'd have felt secure if you'd had a Moat running round your village
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thedarkprince
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Posts: 2747
Hubba-hubba
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« Reply #121 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:30:03 » |
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Harold Shipman's last meal was a curry. When asked afterwards if he enjoyed it, he replied "yeah it was ok but i could have murdered a nan"
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59341
Things can only get better
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« Reply #122 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:34:42 » |
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Yesterday, my mum asked me to hand out invitations for my brother's surprise birthday party.
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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nochee
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« Reply #123 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:48:36 » |
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My wife and I were watching that TV program last night about youngsters having under age sex.She was quite amazed at their behaviour and asked me "have you ever come across somebody like that?"I daren't answer
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Arriba
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Posts: 21289
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« Reply #124 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:54:48 » |
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did she mean literally?
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #125 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 17:22:11 » |
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Northumberland police have put a 10k reward for the capture of Roall Moat & if he isn't caught by next wednesday then they make it 20k.
Now thats what a call a Roall over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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woolster
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« Reply #126 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 17:29:17 » |
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i went to see my doctor today, i told him every time i sneeze i keep getting an errection, he asked me if i was taking anything for it? i replied yes pepper  |
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27137
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« Reply #127 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 17:33:19 » |
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I know it's not Friday, but this one tickled me slightly:
In bed the other night, my wife and I decided that as it was our wedding anniversary the next day, whoever woke up first would have to wake the other one up with oral sex.
The next morning, I was the first to wake. True to our agreement, I gently got up, pulled back the covers...
... and shoved my cock in her mouth.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #128 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 17:45:50 » |
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How did Bob Marley like his doughnuts.....wi jammin.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59341
Things can only get better
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« Reply #129 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 17:52:32 » |
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Selling Bourbon Biscuits for 49p a pack?
That's ASDA Price.
Selling Plastic Fire Trucks
That's Fisher Price
Forgetting the words to her new single while attempting to sing live on stage and simulating giving your boyfriend a blow job....
That's Katie Price.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
Offline
Posts: 59341
Things can only get better
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« Reply #130 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 18:19:18 » |
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My missus was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Processed Beats
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Posts: 2957
I drop beats from this processed meat.
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« Reply #131 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 18:20:46 » |
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What's the difference between JLS and Futurama?
There's only one Bender in Futurama.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12515
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« Reply #132 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 20:20:36 » |
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I fucking hate those little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves.
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axs
naaarrrrrppppp
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Posts: 13469
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« Reply #133 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 21:24:58 » |
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I fucking hate those little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves.
I love this. |
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6390
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« Reply #134 on: Monday, July 19, 2010, 21:30:36 » |
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I love this.
Im nicking that. Facebook status update . |
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Never knowingly overstated.
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