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Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 108050 times)
axs
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« Reply #105 on: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 07:11:46 »

the trouble with jokes is that someone will usually get offended by anything racist , sexist , homophobic  , something about  a handicap etc etc , but usually thats what makes them funny and i apologise if i have offended anyone. But can i just ask axs why i have been selected for his hilarious reply , when he could of quite easily given it to the authors of previous jokes ?



another early one for friday , just for you axs  .......
 
What's racist and has a small penis ?


my black boyfriend

Because I happened to read yours. And it wasn't funny.
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dell boy

« Reply #106 on: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 07:16:56 »

Freddie Mercury is called in to see God. God says 'Freddie I always liked your music and I'm going to give you another life on earth, what do you want to be?'
Freddie says 'I want to be Englands goalkeeper.'
God asks 'Why?'
Freddie replies 'I'll have 10 arseholes in front of me, 50,000 pricks behind me and I won't be able to catch anything.'
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Saxondale

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« Reply #107 on: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 07:29:50 »

Superb Dell.
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Never knowingly overstated.
Bogus Dave
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« Reply #108 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 07:37:17 »

Went to a japanese metal concert the other day. Ended up in the moshi-moshi pit
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Things get better but they never get good
Peter Venkman
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« Reply #109 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 07:46:58 »

My wife said that I am a sad twat and that I need to get a life.

I would have slapped the bitch if I had not already been waiting in line to get an iPhone 4.
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Miles Mayhem

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« Reply #110 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 07:51:57 »

A couple with a child decide to divorce. The judge asks the child do you want to live with your mum? The child says: "no she beats me"... The judge then asks him: "do u want to live with your dad?" He says: "no he beats me"... the judge says "who do u want to live with then??? " The child answers: "the French team: they can't beat anyone
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steptoe41

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« Reply #111 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 08:00:28 »

I was sat in a coffee bar yesterday when I suddenly realized that I desperately needed to fart.

The music in the bar was really loud, so I decided to time my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.

I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

It was then that I suddenly remembered I was listening to my iPod.
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Samdy Gray
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« Reply #112 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 08:10:10 »

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of those mood rings so she could monitor my mood.

We found that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it lives a big fucking red mark on her forehead.
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #113 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 08:14:40 »

So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka and beer once. Your move Jesus...
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land_of_bo

« Reply #114 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 08:21:15 »

What does Stephen Hawking use for protection during sex?

Norton 360
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #115 on: Friday, June 25, 2010, 08:25:29 »

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty little brother Dennis they were after.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER

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« Reply #116 on: Sunday, June 27, 2010, 03:06:37 »

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty little brother Dennis they were after.

Magical.
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Ginginho

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« Reply #117 on: Sunday, June 27, 2010, 08:04:31 »

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty little brother Dennis they were after.

Haha, that's ace, i'm gonna nick that.
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One F In Fitton

« Reply #118 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 15:55:20 »

"Doctor - I think I might have Malaria."

"Ok Mrs Cole, the first thing I'm going to have to do is take a look at your vagina."
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #119 on: Friday, July 9, 2010, 16:18:44 »

If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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