Ginginho
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Posts: 6852
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« Reply #75 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 08:23:26 » |
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A couple of clean ones for you.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe Pholoppe
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A pussycat creeps onto a aeroplane, gets into the cockpit, puts a gun to the pilots head and says "take me to the Canaries!"
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One F In Fitton
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« Reply #76 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 18:28:48 » |
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BBC News: Ships recreate Dunkirk journey for 70th anniversary.
In other news, France surrenders as a large fleet of ships is spotted off the coast of Dunkirk.
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Doore
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« Reply #77 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 18:38:16 » |
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The oldest and best joke ever:
Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
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steptoe41
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Posts: 487
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« Reply #78 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 19:25:29 » |
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Little Billy comes home from junior school one day and his mum notices that he's got a big smile on his face.
She says, "You look happy, did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes mum - I had sex with my English teacher" he replied.
His mum is stunned. "Get up to your room now and wait until your father gets home!"
His dad comes home from work and hears the news,and he's well pleased.
Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad," says Billy.
"Well Billy, you became a man today - this is a cause for celebration. Let's go and get fish and chips, and then I'll buy you that new bike you've been asking for."
"Great"! says Billy, "but I can I have a football instead? My arse is killing me."
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JPC82
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« Reply #79 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 20:38:04 » |
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whats black on top and white underneath?
rape
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JPC82
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« Reply #80 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 20:39:00 » |
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whats pink and goes round and round and round?
steven gatleys suitcase at baggage claim
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JPC82
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« Reply #81 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 20:40:23 » |
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why are lamposts 50ft apart?
so blacks cant swing to work!
im only joking blacks dont have jobs
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Red Frog
Not a Dave
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Posts: 9045
Pondlife
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« Reply #82 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 20:42:05 » |
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why are lamposts 50ft apart?
so blacks cant swing to work!
im only joking blacks dont have jobs
whats black on top and white underneath?
rape
Can you sit with Millwall tomorrow please? |
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sûr à propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
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medwayred
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Posts: 110
Up the Reds
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« Reply #83 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 20:46:59 » |
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I got pulled over for speeding today.
The cop said "papers". So I said "scissors".
I win cunt.
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One Davie Bamber.......................
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27137
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« Reply #84 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 22:19:20 » |
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You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
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Langers
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Posts: 4240
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« Reply #85 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 22:21:21 » |
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Fantastic Samdy  |
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #86 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 23:00:41 » |
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I got one of those new 3D tv's the other day, they are so realistic that i fell asleep watching Liverpool and when i woke up someone had nicked my wallet.
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One F In Fitton
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« Reply #87 on: Friday, June 11, 2010, 17:22:34 » |
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One day, Little Suzy goes swimming in the lake with her grandmother. After they get out they go to shower.
"Grandma" Little Suzy asks, pointing between her grandmother's legs. "What's that?"
"Oh," her grandmother replies. "That's my beaver, dear."
The next day Little Suzy goes swimming with her mother, and they go showering afterwards too. "Mommy, is that your beaver?" asks the girl.
"Er, yes it is, Suzy. Where did you learn that?" her mother answers.
"From Grandma. But I think hers is dead because its tongue was sticking out."
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What has 2 legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
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« Last Edit: Friday, June 11, 2010, 17:55:12 by One F In Fitton »
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Don Rogers Shop
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« Reply #88 on: Friday, June 11, 2010, 17:33:35 » |
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Crispy
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59259
Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist.
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« Reply #89 on: Friday, June 11, 2010, 17:44:21 » |
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Crispy
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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