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Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 46168 times)
swindonmaniac


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« Reply #330 on: Sunday, May 27, 2018, 11:11:29 »

Jurgen Klopp said to Karius after the game, Why didn't you stop the ball ?, Karius replied i thought that was what the net is for
Clap Clap
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English & Proud.
Pounds  & Ounces not kilos & grammes, mpg not kilometres & litres, feet & inches not mm & cm (whatever the fuck they are)  - Fuck Europe !!!!!!.
Peter Venkman


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« Reply #331 on: Friday, June 1, 2018, 17:06:12 »

I am typing this on behalf of Peter Venkman who wonders why his eye drops come in a bottle indistinguishable from that of Superglue.
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Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Peter Venkman


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« Reply #332 on: Wednesday, June 20, 2018, 17:20:52 »

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Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Private Fraser


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« Reply #333 on: Saturday, September 1, 2018, 09:23:23 »

A day late...and NSFW

https://twitter.com/i/status/1035521651117576193
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Red Frog
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« Reply #334 on: Saturday, September 1, 2018, 14:50:36 »

Not as late as this one:

Hugo should have tipped that last shot over the bar.
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sűr ŕ propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
Flashheart


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« Reply #335 on: Friday, September 7, 2018, 11:38:57 »

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I like it firm and fruity.
Peter Venkman


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« Reply #336 on: Tuesday, September 18, 2018, 16:43:44 »

My village is holding their annual incest competition.

I've entered my sister.
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Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
bamboonoshop


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« Reply #337 on: Tuesday, September 18, 2018, 17:37:53 »

My village is holding their annual incest competition.

I've entered my sister.


Waheyy! Was your father a Baker?
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COYR WAWRAWA COYR
Bogus Dave
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« Reply #338 on: Tuesday, September 18, 2018, 18:22:40 »

My village is holding their annual incest competition.

I've entered my sister.

Living in Somerset, hard to tell if this is a joke or not?
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Things get better but they never get good
Peter Venkman


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« Reply #339 on: Tuesday, September 18, 2018, 18:27:30 »

Living in Somerset, hard to tell if this is a joke or not?
Coming from Swindon with my sister still living there...you tell me!
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Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
suttonred


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« Reply #340 on: Tuesday, September 18, 2018, 18:52:30 »

In a similar vein..

How do you know when your sister is on?

Your dad's cock tastes funny.
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normy


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« Reply #341 on: Wednesday, September 19, 2018, 10:15:05 »

You're having the snip eh?  Will it make a vas deferens to your sex life?
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ust be the oldest
adje


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« Reply #342 on: Wednesday, September 19, 2018, 10:32:34 »

You're having the snip eh?  Will it make a vas deferens to your sex life?

😁
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quot;Molten memories splashing down
 upon the rooves of Swindon Town"
bamboonoshop


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« Reply #343 on: Saturday, September 22, 2018, 21:13:03 »

I know it's a day late but this is fucking wonderful...may I present, a Flerfers interpretation and "explanation" of the equinoxes...

https://www.livescience.com/63648-flat-earth-explanation-for-the-equinox.html?
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COYR WAWRAWA COYR
Flashheart


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« Reply #344 on: Sunday, September 23, 2018, 12:54:26 »

I know it's a day late but this is fucking wonderful...may I present, a Flerfers interpretation and "explanation" of the equinoxes...

https://www.livescience.com/63648-flat-earth-explanation-for-the-equinox.html?

These guy's are fucking amazing.

Gem's include "How does water get high up if rivers only run down hill", "why are people not upside down in Australia" and, one of my personal favourites. "If the earth is curved, why are rail-roads not curved."

As for anything to do with Australia. Many are convinced it doesn't even exist.
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I like it firm and fruity.
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