Nijholts Nuts
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Posts: 1330
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« Reply #60 on: Monday, May 17, 2010, 07:15:53 » |
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What has 8 legs and makes girls scream?
Gang Rape.
Did you know, 1 out of 10 people dont enjoy gang rape? |
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I only dream of Claire Sweeney
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reeves4england
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Posts: 15983
We'll never die!
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« Reply #61 on: Monday, May 17, 2010, 09:05:56 » |
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Did you know, 1 out of 10 people dont enjoy gang rape?
That joke is much funnier when told properly, along the lines of "Statistically, 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rape" |
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59337
Things can only get better
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« Reply #62 on: Monday, May 17, 2010, 09:17:13 » |
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That joke is much funnier when told properly, along the lines of "Statistically, 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rape"
Indeed true. |
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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dell boy
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« Reply #63 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 07:01:48 » |
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An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account..
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not really sure what to do. What do you suggest?'
At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
'You shag her again.'
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12515
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« Reply #64 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 07:26:53 » |
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I went to the doctors the other day and told him that I just can't stop having sex with young black girls. He says "I've got just the thing for you, take one of these."
"What is it?" I say nervously.
He repiles, "A niggerette patch."
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Leggett
Do you like popsicles?
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« Reply #65 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 08:04:35 » |
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Whats the best thing about fucking an 8 year old boy?
Flipping him over and pretending he's an 8 y/o girl.
eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrm, that joke makes way more sense the other way round... anyways, A bloke walks into the chemist and asks for some birth control for his ten-year-old daughter. the lady behind the counter is a bit shocked, and asks "i'm sorry sir, but is your daughter sexually active that young?!?" the guy replies "nah, she just lies there sobbing like her mum" |
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Fuck you Leggett, fuck you.
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Chubbs
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« Reply #66 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 08:32:17 » |
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guy says to his girlfriend "would you like to indulge me in my rape sexual fantasy?"
Girl says "no, not really"
Guy says "yeah, thats the spirit"
...............
just slept with a woman who has exzema.......
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cracking cunt
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One F In Fitton
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« Reply #67 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 20:21:50 » |
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What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?
You cannot gargle sand.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked children.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #68 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 20:29:42 » |
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I went into Paddys house today and the front room ceiling was twenty foot high...jeez paddy i say that ceiling is abit high....it was the missus says paddy,she wanted two rooms knocked into one.
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #69 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 22:23:15 » |
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I always remember the 4 s's when i visit a mosque.
Shoes Off
Socks Off
Sawn Off
Safety Off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My missus came home last night really pissed, i was stood in the kitchen when she dropped to her knees and slurred" iwant toget really diirrty!!!!!!!!!" So i said" in your state darling you will never be able to clean the oven"
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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« Reply #70 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 22:27:00 » |
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I took my dog to the park today and played frisbee with him.
He was useless. I think I need a flatter dog.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16348
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« Reply #71 on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 22:54:31 » |
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Saw an oxford season ticket nailed to a tree the other day, though "I'm having that."
Well, you can never have too many nails can you
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Things get better but they never get good
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One F In Fitton
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« Reply #72 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 02:04:52 » |
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It was with genuine sadness that I learnt earlier this week about the death of ventriloquist Ray Allen - I used to really enjoy his act when I was a kid.
Apparently Lord Charles was unavailable for comment.
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The_Plagiarist
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« Reply #73 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 07:38:40 » |
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How do you stop ten black men raping a white woman?
Throw them a basketball.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #74 on: Friday, May 28, 2010, 08:20:17 » |
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A girl with a lisp goes to the doctors with a chesty cough.
The doctor lifts up her top and says 'big breaths'
Yes says the girl....and i am only sixteen.
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