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Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 49109 times)
jutty274


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« Reply #285 on: Friday, December 3, 2010, 23:38:04 »

My wife asked where i would like to be buried.

Face first in Cheryl Coles pussy wasn't the answer she was expecting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sepp Blatter was asked who his favorite Qatar player was.
He replied Jimi Hendrix.
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Saxondale


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« Reply #286 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:15:59 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart
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Saxondale


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« Reply #287 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:16:27 »

It was so cold this morning I had to scrape the
ice off my windscreen with my Homebase discount
card. It wasn't much use though - I only got 10% off
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jayohaitchenn
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« Reply #288 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:35:49 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart

I'm nicking that.
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Saxondale


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« Reply #289 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:39:29 »

I nicked it off of popbitch so you're welcome to it!
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Samdy Gray
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« Reply #290 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:45:45 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.
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Nemo
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« Reply #291 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:07:13 »

Or a similar note, Ricky Ponting also tried to throw himself off a cliff, but Paul Collingwood caught him.
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pauld


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« Reply #292 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:10:36 »

(Shamelessly stolen off the radio)

What does Mitchell Johnson put in his hand to guarantee a wicket in the next over?
His bat

What's the definition of blind optimism?
Aussie opening batsman putting on sun block

What's the difference between the Ashes and a boomerang?
The Aussies can get boomerangs to come back
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Peter Venkman


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« Reply #293 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:12:42 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.

On a similar note.....

What do you call an Aussie thats good with the bat?

A vet.
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Because I chose to play the fool in a six-piece band
First-night nerves every one-night stand
I should be glad to be so inclined
What a waste! What a waste!
Rock n Roll don't mind.
santasdead

« Reply #294 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:16:23 »

What do you call World Class Australian Cricketers?



Retired.
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Peter Venkman


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« Reply #295 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:17:36 »

The West Ham board have said that they don't know who will be in charge for Tuesday's match with Birmingham.

My money is on Birmingham.
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Because I chose to play the fool in a six-piece band
First-night nerves every one-night stand
I should be glad to be so inclined
What a waste! What a waste!
Rock n Roll don't mind.
bullethead


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« Reply #296 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:40:18 »

What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand....

A waiter.
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land_of_bo

« Reply #297 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 14:25:05 »

Most Chelsea fans haven't seen a run of form this bad since they were Fulham fans.
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jutty274


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« Reply #298 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 14:47:32 »

Police in Bristol investigating Joanna Yates case say the murderer stole one of her socks.

Am i the only one thinking " Heather Mills "       
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leefer


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« Reply #299 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 16:06:15 »

I'm nicking that.

I bought a car from Chris De Burgh......it was a Lada in Red.
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