Pages: 1 ... 17 18 19 [20] 21 22 23 24   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 43660 times)
jutty274


+0/-1
Online Online

Posts: 1685




Ignore
« Reply #285 on: Friday, December 3, 2010, 22:38:04 »

My wife asked where i would like to be buried.

Face first in Cheryl Coles pussy wasn't the answer she was expecting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sepp Blatter was asked who his favorite Qatar player was.
He replied Jimi Hendrix.
Logged
Saxondale


+36/-6
Offline Offline

Posts: 5634





Ignore
« Reply #286 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:15:59 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart
Logged

Never knowingly overstated.
Saxondale


+36/-6
Offline Offline

Posts: 5634





Ignore
« Reply #287 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:16:27 »

It was so cold this morning I had to scrape the
ice off my windscreen with my Homebase discount
card. It wasn't much use though - I only got 10% off
Logged

Never knowingly overstated.
jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER


+57/-89
Online Online

Posts: 10737




« Reply #288 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:35:49 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart

I'm nicking that.
Logged
Saxondale


+36/-6
Offline Offline

Posts: 5634





Ignore
« Reply #289 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:39:29 »

I nicked it off of popbitch so you're welcome to it!
Logged

Never knowingly overstated.
Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel


+14/-88
Offline Offline

Posts: 25997





Ignore
« Reply #290 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:45:45 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.
Logged
Nemo
Shit Bacon


+22/-3
Offline Offline

Posts: 12383





Ignore
« Reply #291 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:07:13 »

Or a similar note, Ricky Ponting also tried to throw himself off a cliff, but Paul Collingwood caught him.
Logged
pauld


+125/-122
Online Online

Posts: 18986





Ignore
« Reply #292 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:10:36 »

(Shamelessly stolen off the radio)

What does Mitchell Johnson put in his hand to guarantee a wicket in the next over?
His bat

What's the definition of blind optimism?
Aussie opening batsman putting on sun block

What's the difference between the Ashes and a boomerang?
The Aussies can get boomerangs to come back
Logged
Peter Venkman


+287/-168
Offline Offline

Posts: 26304


Enjoy yourself its later than you think.




Ignore
« Reply #293 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:12:42 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.

On a similar note.....

What do you call an Aussie thats good with the bat?

A vet.
Logged

It's a grand old team to play for, It's a grand old team to see, And if you know your history, It's enough to make your heart go whoa-oh, We don't care what the other teams say, What the hell do we care, For we only know that there's gonna be a show, And the Swindon Town will be there....
santasdead

« Reply #294 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:16:23 »

What do you call World Class Australian Cricketers?



Retired.
Logged
Peter Venkman


+287/-168
Offline Offline

Posts: 26304


Enjoy yourself its later than you think.




Ignore
« Reply #295 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:17:36 »

The West Ham board have said that they don't know who will be in charge for Tuesday's match with Birmingham.

My money is on Birmingham.
Logged

It's a grand old team to play for, It's a grand old team to see, And if you know your history, It's enough to make your heart go whoa-oh, We don't care what the other teams say, What the hell do we care, For we only know that there's gonna be a show, And the Swindon Town will be there....
bullethead


+0/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 281





Ignore
« Reply #296 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:40:18 »

What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand....

A waiter.
Logged
land_of_bo

« Reply #297 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:25:05 »

Most Chelsea fans haven't seen a run of form this bad since they were Fulham fans.
Logged
jutty274


+0/-1
Online Online

Posts: 1685




Ignore
« Reply #298 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:47:32 »

Police in Bristol investigating Joanna Yates case say the murderer stole one of her socks.

Am i the only one thinking " Heather Mills "       
Logged
leefer


+6/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 12851





Ignore
« Reply #299 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 15:06:15 »

I'm nicking that.

I bought a car from Chris De Burgh......it was a Lada in Red.
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 17 18 19 [20] 21 22 23 24   Go Up
Print
Jump to: