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Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 40443 times)
jutty274


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« Reply #285 on: Friday, December 3, 2010, 22:38:04 »

My wife asked where i would like to be buried.

Face first in Cheryl Coles pussy wasn't the answer she was expecting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sepp Blatter was asked who his favorite Qatar player was.
He replied Jimi Hendrix.
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Saxondale


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« Reply #286 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:15:59 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart
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Saxondale


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« Reply #287 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:16:27 »

It was so cold this morning I had to scrape the
ice off my windscreen with my Homebase discount
card. It wasn't much use though - I only got 10% off
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jayohaitchenn
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« Reply #288 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:35:49 »

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart

I'm nicking that.
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Saxondale


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« Reply #289 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:39:29 »

I nicked it off of popbitch so you're welcome to it!
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Samdy Gray
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« Reply #290 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:45:45 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.
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Nemo
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« Reply #291 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:07:13 »

Or a similar note, Ricky Ponting also tried to throw himself off a cliff, but Paul Collingwood caught him.
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pauld


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« Reply #292 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:10:36 »

(Shamelessly stolen off the radio)

What does Mitchell Johnson put in his hand to guarantee a wicket in the next over?
His bat

What's the definition of blind optimism?
Aussie opening batsman putting on sun block

What's the difference between the Ashes and a boomerang?
The Aussies can get boomerangs to come back
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Peter Venkman


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« Reply #293 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:12:42 »

After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.

On a similar note.....

What do you call an Aussie thats good with the bat?

A vet.
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They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them
santasdead

« Reply #294 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:16:23 »

What do you call World Class Australian Cricketers?



Retired.
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Peter Venkman


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« Reply #295 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:17:36 »

The West Ham board have said that they don't know who will be in charge for Tuesday's match with Birmingham.

My money is on Birmingham.
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They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them
bullethead


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« Reply #296 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:40:18 »

What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand....

A waiter.
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land_of_bo

« Reply #297 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:25:05 »

Most Chelsea fans haven't seen a run of form this bad since they were Fulham fans.
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jutty274


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« Reply #298 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:47:32 »

Police in Bristol investigating Joanna Yates case say the murderer stole one of her socks.

Am i the only one thinking " Heather Mills "       
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leefer


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« Reply #299 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 15:06:15 »

I'm nicking that.

I bought a car from Chris De Burgh......it was a Lada in Red.
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