Pages: 1 ... 47 48 49 [50] 51 52 53 54   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Friday Joke Thread  (Read 217894 times)
Simon Pieman
Original Wanker

Offline Offline

Posts: 36317




« Reply #735 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 13:33:52 »

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. No idea what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
Logged
Mother Brown

Offline Offline

Posts: 1372




Ignore
« Reply #736 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:26:02 »

Did you hear the one about the Dutchman, that used to wear inflatable shoes.
He popped his clogs.
Logged
Kinky Tom
Snow Master Sandwich King.

Offline Offline

Posts: 8887





Ignore
« Reply #737 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:33:51 »

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

He's married
Logged
suttonred

Offline Offline

Posts: 12510





Ignore
« Reply #738 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 20:05:13 »

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

He's married

I laughed like a drain, the wife glared at me when i told her Smiley
Logged
Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.

Offline Offline

Posts: 58868


Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist.



« Reply #739 on: Tuesday, September 27, 2016, 14:30:53 »

If 666 is considered as the evil number....

Then technically 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
Logged

Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
Nomoreheroes
The Moral Majority

Offline Offline

Posts: 14502





Ignore
« Reply #740 on: Thursday, October 6, 2016, 20:53:01 »

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Logged

You're my incurable malady. I miss the pleasure of your company.
Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.

Offline Offline

Posts: 58868


Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist.



« Reply #741 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 08:56:52 »

This evil clown thing in Newcastle has got out of hand.
I even saw one handing out burgers to young children.



Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.
Logged

Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
Red Frog
Not a Dave

Offline Offline

Posts: 9045


Pondlife




Ignore
« Reply #742 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 09:10:13 »

A Roman walks into a bar. Barman says "Ave".

Roman holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please."
Logged

Tout ce que je sais de plus sûr à propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.

Offline Offline

Posts: 58868


Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist.



« Reply #743 on: Friday, October 14, 2016, 09:24:05 »

The popularity of origami has increased tenfold.
Logged

Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
Talk Talk

« Reply #744 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:10:53 »

NSFW really...

Logged
Ginginho

Offline Offline

Posts: 6848





Ignore
« Reply #745 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:13:44 »

Haha, ace Smiley
Logged
Talk Talk

« Reply #746 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:19:27 »

My missus is pissed off with me again.

Last night while she was fast asleep, I gently removed her Tampax and replaced it with a party popper leaving the string hanging out.

I'm telling you! That woman's got no fucking sense of humour at all
Logged
Panda Paws

« Reply #747 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:28:17 »


Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.


A hipster wouldn't be seen dead ordering a cappuccino.
Logged
suttonred

Offline Offline

Posts: 12510





Ignore
« Reply #748 on: Sunday, October 30, 2016, 19:54:41 »

What's the wettest thing in the world?

Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
Logged
Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.

Offline Offline

Posts: 58868


Back Off Man, I’m A Scientist.



« Reply #749 on: Monday, October 31, 2016, 15:43:19 »

What's the wettest thing in the world?

Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
I just can't see that......trouble is neither can he Smiley
Logged

Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
Pages: 1 ... 47 48 49 [50] 51 52 53 54   Go Up
Print
Jump to: